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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

One night stand. Married.

63 replies

Eden72 · 04/10/2019 17:12

I met a guy on the Internet. I was so blinded at that time I only wanted to feel again free and careless. Please do not judge me, i tortured myself to hell afterwards.
The point is that at period my mother passed away then my father. And I was in a kind of delirium. I only wanted to fell free and alive again not taking into account my dear family. BTW I do not live in England but my education was British.

OP posts:

wildcherries · 05/10/2019 15:01

You sound like a child. All issues because you confessed and he forgave you? Come on.

You bet I'm judging you. It's a shitty thing to do to someone you love, and you don't get a pass on judgement because you're a woman.

Original poster

Eden72 · 05/10/2019 15:08

He did not want to sleep with me at that period of time. And many other issues about an inheritance of mine. Etc.

OP posts:

Original poster

Eden72 · 05/10/2019 15:12

@can you please explain what hysterical bonding means in this case. I googled it, but still I don't understand it very well.

OP posts:

Sagradafamiliar · 05/10/2019 15:14

Next time you want to feel free and alive, go paragliding or something. Receiving grubby messages from men wanting sex and then reciprocating doesn't fit the bill.

Original poster

Eden72 · 05/10/2019 15:17

@Sagradafamiliar you are right. I thought of that too.

OP posts:

NewMe2019 · 05/10/2019 15:21

"VERY... Cheaters are the lowest scum, idiots like this really annoy me.... Such entitlement and rudeness.... Hope she gets what's coming and is alone and miserable forever.... Deserves that and far worse."

Jesus Christ talk about an overreaction! Yes, lets all pretend cheating is worse or on par with than paedophilia, murder, drink driving, domestic violence, abuse...etc etc.

This place is ridiculous sometimes.

danmthatonestakentryanotheer · 05/10/2019 15:25

I entered a dating site just out of curiosity, just to see the profiles, but the site wanted registration. I registered just to see the profiles. I did not know that they will send me messages immediately. To my surprise there were hundreds of messages. Some of them were very attractive.

Seriously wt actual f? I just don't know where to start. Your poor husband. I hope one day he wakes up and finds someone who'll treat him with more dignaty and respect than you have.

Ginger1982 · 05/10/2019 15:35

Hysterical bonding is where, after discovering one spouse has had an affair, both spouses have a lot of sex with each other.

Original poster

Eden72 · 05/10/2019 15:37

Thank you. Yes. That is what happened.

OP posts:

GiViMa · 05/10/2019 22:26

My ex husband had a one night stand nearly 40 years ago! He did exactly what you did and confessed everything to me. The feeling l felt at the time was absolute torture, we were only one week away from our first wedding anniversary. Nevertheless l stayed with him and the marriage lasted 28 years! I have to say though, l carried the memory of what he did with me throughout that marriage and my feelings for him were never the same again. I personally, think people like you and my ex, are very selfish. You have unburdened your problem onto your husband, the same way my ex did to me. You really don't realise the hurt and suffering you will have caused your husband. You mentioned yours parents passing away at the time it happened. That's when you should have turned to your husband for support and comfort, not finding it elsewhere. I sincerely hope you can come to terms with what you've done and that you treat your husband with the love and respect he deserves.

Original poster

Eden72 · 06/10/2019 07:08

Thank you really. The problem is that at that time approximately 4 months (during the mourning) he did not want to have sex with me. And I felt utterly rejected. I could not figure it out. I just thought "my parents passed away" now this "it is too much to bear".

OP posts:

BishopFrownofStThigh · 06/10/2019 07:44

Ok maybe it's the language barrier (communication) but I'm having a hard time processing why you started this thread - you had a horrible time losing your parents and sorry for that, slept with someone possibly very sleazy, told husband and he appears to have forgiven you.

So...do you want to talk to your husband some more about this?

honeybunlatte · 06/10/2019 08:09

Signing up for a dating website, messaging people on there, arranging to meet up, having sex with them - none of this is a mistake. This is calculated cheating. Your purposely were looking for it. You can't then go about acting all coy 'oh i made a mistake poor me I hate myself!' Poor your fucking husband and family who were completely oblivious that you were arranging and meeting up with men/a man under their noses!!
A mistake is buying a loaf of white bread instead of brown. It isn't purposely seeking out sex with someone who isn't your husband. That didn't happen by accident. They didn't just fall into your lap naked and thrusting!
Your attempts to justify it are poor. Nothing justifies cheating. If you want to have sex with someone else you need to leave your husband to find happiness with someone who gives a shit about him!

You don't have my sympathy OP.

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