One night stand. Married.

[Eden72]

I met a guy on the Internet. I was so blinded at that time I only wanted to feel again free and careless. Please do not judge me, i tortured myself to hell afterwards.
The point is that at period my mother passed away then my father. And I was in a kind of delirium. I only wanted to fell free and alive again not taking into account my dear family. BTW I do not live in England but my education was British.

I would say there are issues in your marriage if you felt you couldn't turn to your husband when your parents died.

Yes. You are right. There were issues. Now they are gone.

@YankeeSocks what?

OP asked if anyone other women on here were fucking men other than their spouses. Yes, at the moment, there are endless posts from women doing exactly that. For the record I’m not perfect but neither am I cheat. I also haven’t done any “terrible things”

Right I'm, so you had problems and so you had a one night stand. After that you admitted it to your husband and he chose to forgive you. Now the problems are gone. What exactly are you after? You should absolutely feel bad because if you didn't it would show you don't care. It's a good thing you feel down about it.

You've both decided to move on, you have been honest. I'm not sure what else you want? The outcome is the best it could possibly be surely?

How can they (issues) be just gone? Especially after you confessing to an affair to your DH!!!

I am baffled at this. How did you recover from all this? How was your DH so gentle and nice to forgive you? Not that I am not happy for you but it just I would never be able to forgive any infidelity (emotional or physical).

I know people make mistakes but you say you love your husband but if you really did it would never even cross your mind to do what you did. So sorry you lost your mum and dad that is so devastating but also not an excuse.

Yes exactly because he is gentle and nice.
Yes, maybe this is the only good outcome.
Thank you very very much.

@Sahej not an excuse.

You already told him, he forgave you, you're Finn of reasons you did it but you're still torturing yourself?

What's the point? It's over... let it die and get on with life. Your guilt is now more damaging to your relationship than the affair. And it's a bit pathetic tbh. Move on.

Not sure what your schooling has to do with anything...

Thank you😘. I meant only that English is like a native language to me.

Anyone who thinks its impossible to love someone and betray them though is rather simplistic... lliterature throughout the ages bases love and betrayal together and the human condition is so complex that you could never say 'well you cheated so you can't love him.'

Of course you can. Humans are animals.

I think you should probably have some counselling. Both to work out what was going on that made you want to cheat, and whats going on with your reaction now. Yes cheating isnt a nice thing to do, but it also isnt a crime nor is it the worst thing in the world. Your husband has forgiven you, and it has shown you very clearly what you DO actually want, which is him. Maybe you should try and forgive yourself now. Self flagellation is useless and over dramatic. You need to talk this through with a professional

I cheated in a very hedonistic affair. I reacted to having married a boring man who did cocaine and cheated on me on nights out. My choice to marry him though. But that's why I did it. XH very quick to forgive me, probably to ease his guilty conscience. I ended it anyway.

Explore why you poisoned your marriage by doing it in the first place then telling your DH. It wasn't a moment of madness really. You sought this out. Was grief the only reason? Be fully accountable so that you're better able to deal with the fallout from this when it comes. You say DH has forgiven you but the aftershocks can come years later.

Of course you will be judged. What a disgusting selfish childish thing to do. Hope you get all that's coming to you and then some. Poor didums you "hate" yourself now... Woe is me right. All about you, typical cheaters line.

No excuse to cheat. Ever. I feel so so sorry for your poor husband. Hopefully he has common sense and finds someone that loves and respects him like he deserves.

i am not sure your husband forgave you so easily. there maybe repercussions later on.
you sound childish.

you sound childish.

VERY... Cheaters are the lowest scum, idiots like this really annoy me.... Such entitlement and rudeness.... Hope she gets what's coming and is alone and miserable forever.... Deserves that and far worse.

Which bit was the mistake?

Looking for a man online, chatting to him and hiding it from your husband, engaging in inappropriate chat, meeting up with him, lying to your husband, shagging the OM?

Cheating is one mistake. Is a seris of decisions that you make. A seris of lies and deception.

Honestly, people dont forgive cheating this easily. I suspect when it all sinks in, he will then have more of an issue with it.

It's really easy not to cheat. The easiest thing in the world. Just don't.

It is a very long and complex story, I just did not want to bother you with it.
OK then, about the mistake: I entered a dating site just out of curiosity, just to see the profiles, but the site wanted registration. I registered just to see the profiles. I did not know that they will send me messages immediately. To my surprise there were hundreds of messages. Some of them were very attractive. This is how it started.. I guess curiosity killed the cat🙀

Thank you really.

I don’t know, love and sex can be complicated sometimes. Grief can cloud better judgement. I can understand wanting to feel something else other than grief and other than being “Eden the grieving wife” and just be a woman that wants sex. Or to feel wanted.

Cheating isn’t ok. Count yourself very lucky OP that your husband has forgiven you. Forgive yourself and move on. One thing doesn’t need to define your whole self or relationship

No one in a relationship signs up to a dating site just to have a nosey. They certainly dont then start replying to messages.

Again you say it was a mistake? Which bit was the mistake? The not telling your husband you are going in tinder (or whatever the site was) for a nosey?

Or one of the many decisions you made after that.

I think that this is when the injured party starts to realise it's not easy to just move in from. When they realise or easnt one mistake it was lots of seperate lies and deceptions. That you could have stopped it at any point but chose to continue.

So it started because you...went looking for it then OP, then spoke to some men until you liked one, then arranged sex?

What do you want from this thread OP, it's really odd. If your relationship had issues and nothing has been resolved but you've cheated- the relationship is not likely to be better you have surely all swept it under the rug. Cheating is not something you do to a person you 'love'.

No point acting the martyr though- you did it because you wanted to and didn't care about him then. He has for some reason, forgiven you for that, and you say things are fine -so just get on with your life and dragging it up.

❤️

tbh, i think youre freaking out because shit has hit the fan and yore faced with enormous change and fall out.

The problems in your marriage are still there, but at the moment, youre desperate for some hysterical bonding (google it)
It does NOT mean all your problems are sorted out.

You need to take a breather