Should I warn my partner about the latest threat?

[SheepGoesBaa]

I have one sister. She fell out one by one with many members of the family. She used to take offence easily and read situations wrong. The words that she has issued towards the family has been - "you're dead to me" but it appears as if that was a hyperbole.

Basically she has been hassling the family for quite some time and to be quite honest, the level of stuff, it's absolutely harassment. It's been so severe. All her messages and fake Facebook accounts, all her words, it's all vulgar. Instead of walking away from the family like what she wanted, she's done so much on the family in her revenge campaign. In her mind, we must all pay for her hurt feelings, even though her hurt feelings are all her own. We can't help her.

So far, the dirt she's dishing out on the family is on and off. We might get a quite spell for a few weeks then she starts up again. One of my brothers has no time for her and her drama and for that she accused him of being a paedo. Of course not to the revelate authorities. Just into his phone. It's not true because she was 8 when he was born. How did he have the capacity to groom her as a child when he was a baby himself? How was he so calculated to only target one sister and nor the other? Because its not true.

That is the damage she's causing in the family.

The police don't take it seriously. They it's a civil matter. I did send a solicitors letter but she ignored it and if anything it made her worse for a while. I'm not in the UK I would be looking at an injunction in court against her and that will cost a few thousands that I just don't have.

Her latest round of messages have been threatening to go into my partners place of work. He works in a bar. She found out on Facebook. My partner has her blocked but fake profiles from her. One of her messages read, if you won't talk to me here and acknowledge me here, maybe you will talk through him when I go into X bar to tell him what sort of a cunt you are.

So, what do I do here? Do I warn him of the threat that was made. I talked to my mother and she said, it's a threat, that's all it is. She's a bully and a coward and she wouldn't have the guts to go into a bar alone.

The way I see it, shes holding a very heavy axe to grind.

What’s the normal procedure at your boyfriends workplace if someone is abusive?

I’d let them sort her out, possibly they’ll call the police or security will march her out.

I'd tell your partner. What reason do you have not to? Even if she doesn't go in there at least he knows exactly what's going on and can support you through this difficult time.

She sounds mentally ill, does she have a history of mental illness? What has triggered this campaign of hatred in the first place?

Thanks. They have security at the door but only at the weekends from evening onwards til closing. He doesn't get many abusive customers in but when he does he asks them to leave and after that if security is on the door he gets them involved if they persist. If there's no security, he calls the cops.

She wasn't diagnosed with a mental illness when she was at home. I don't know if she's been diagnosed in the years shes gone from home.

A chain of events.

She fell out with one brother who went to work abroad in Australia. He wasn't phoning home much and she read it as him cutting contact from the family. She got on her high horse about that and refused to come down.

My mam had a few pictures of her grandchild up in the kitchen. My sister took offence because there was no picture of her. Our mother did tell her that it wasn't intentional but my sister has her tale now and again refused to come down from her high horse. So all of it is drama.

Myself and another brother, we don't have time for her drama and that's all it is.

Let him know so he knows she might show up,better than being blindsided by a ranting ,raving woman.
Also depending on his workplace they might put some things in place to ensure she gets turned away at the door /removed quickly.
He needs to know as this affects not only his life but his workplace too.

From my previous post I wr, she's refusing to come down from her high horse. Those would be the wrong words. She's stuck up on top of her high horse. She wants explanations and apologies from everyone one of us at home but, I tried dealing with her last year but it wasn't good enough for her. She picked holes in everything I said. She wants me and others down on our knees at her feet so that she can literally kick us when we are down. That it.

Thanks stocktakefucks, I will let him know. She's living in a different county. I doubt she will show up today at his work place. He's off tomorrow. So it gives me some time.

Block her in very way. Tell your db. Forewarned is forearmed isn't it?
Stop looking at her sm. Do not get into any chat with anyone about her.
No attention /responses and she will get bored.

I would come off facebook or whatever social media you are getting this information and threats from.
You know so much about her but can't you just stop reading her messages/ fb/ whatever.
If you had no idea what she was saying (as long as you don't discuss with other family members) the problem would be gone?!

She was blocked in every way. We've done the years of ignoring but shes not bored. Ignoring her angers her more but ignoring is what we are doing.

She was hassling my employer earlier in the year sending her Facebook messages. It looked to me as if, if she wasn't going to get me one way, she was going to persist and get me another way so she went down the empoyer route. At stage. I didn't know what way to deal with it. The cops didn't take me seriously. She ignored a solicitors letter. I don't have the money for an injunction. So I bought a throw away phone and sim card and I did text her. The phone is off most of the time. I turn it on about once or twice a week.

Its basically to keep her away from causing more damage and getting other people involved. I saw she has a need to dish out vulgar filth and instead of targeting my employer and I figured it would be better for her to have an outlet into a phone that's turned off most of the time.

If any of that makes sense. My employer hasn't come to me since the throwaway phone/number. The sister is ranting into a phone that's not my main one.

All the blocking and the ignoring has been done for over 4 years now but my sister is still persisting. If she doesn't get me on the phone or Facebook or by email she will get me through my employer and partner.

Shes not only on my back but she's on the others back too. If it's not me, it my mother or other brothers.

The woman is a lunatic.

Your job and all of your families is to block at every point (get rid of the phone) - come off SM if she is finding info about you here.
Grey rock.
Don’t talk about it amongst yourselves as this is whipping up the drama and keeping you all emotionally heightened and vulnerable even if she doesn’t see/hear it.

You all need to drop the rope and build up bigger barriers.

Is she traumatised by something in her childhood?

If she is in another country I don’t know what the UK authorities can do in reality.

She's in a another county. Not country.

There very little on Facebook about me. My partner keeps it to a minimum too but she found out where he works from Facebook. It's not my choice to make about what he does with social media or to tell him to get off social media. His social media is limited except for the Facebook. He used to used instagram.

The other families social media is limited to nil.

In recent times I decided to limit interactions and time with my father. Parents are separated. I think she could be getting in for from him. He doesn't know what she has been doing to the rest of the family. He wouldn't care anyways.

I think maybe our parents marriage falling apart when we were young possibly played a part with my sister. It doesn't make much sense but I think maybe it's that. Around the time our parents had difficulties, my sister changed her handwriting in school to awful/bad handwriting and the teachers were not happy but she did it for attention.

I really can't think of anything else.

If I didn't have my throwaway phone, she would be stirring the shit pot with my employer and partner. The throwaway phone has kept her away from my employer and partner for the past few months.

Shes hating the ignoring that's happening and now shes upping her tactics.

Sorry mis-read that.

Can you go back to the police as you will now have evidence on your phone?

Honestly the lot of you need to get an injunction against her you say you can’t afford it but can you really afford not to?

Is she traumatised by something in her childhood?

That's how it comes across to me.

I can't think of anything except for my parents marriage falling apart. My father was hardly at home and he was a drunk. He was never abusive towards us. Directly. He did punish our mother withholding money and we grew up in poverty. My mother did her best for us. We would have been about 9/10/11 years old during those years. The poverty continued on into our teenage years. I can't think of anything else that would traumatise her.

Directly all her anger at the family is wrong when she needs to get help and talk to a professional.

personality disorder
I would contact facebook & report & I would talk to your HR

Jeezo, trauma? Ha! No, she's just a particularly nasty narcissist. Or something along those lines.

Might be wisr to tell him so he can let his boss know. Really though if some random comes into a place of work and asks to say, speak to a boss so she can slag him off (and about nothing to do with his work) they'll see her for the crazy cow she is so I wouldn't worry there.

Only issue might be she could follow him home and find out where you live (assuming she doesn't know already?).

From what I gather from her messages, her threat is not to go into his boss. Her threat is go into my partner, in his job, to take whatever issues she has about me to him.

Her messages was, if you don't acknowledge me here you will do it through NAME when I go into X bar.

Name is my partner. X is the name of the bar he's working in.

Basically she wants me down on my knees begging for forgiveness for all the rows that we had. Never mind about her own part that she had in all our rows. She wants me to acknowledge her feelings. Nobody else's matter in this world. Just hers.

The woman is a lunatic. It's impossible to sort anything out with her because she's so high up on her horse.

She doesn't know his work hours or the way he travels to and from work. Unless if she's been stalking him. I doubt she would follow him home.

Childhood traumas can trigger NPD and BPD.

There may have been sexual abuse and she has somehow suppressed it but it seeps out as antisocial behaviours.

Can you go back to the police as you will now have evidence on your phone?