Should I warn my partner about the latest threat?

[SheepGoesBaa]

I have one sister. She fell out one by one with many members of the family. She used to take offence easily and read situations wrong. The words that she has issued towards the family has been - "you're dead to me" but it appears as if that was a hyperbole.

Basically she has been hassling the family for quite some time and to be quite honest, the level of stuff, it's absolutely harassment. It's been so severe. All her messages and fake Facebook accounts, all her words, it's all vulgar. Instead of walking away from the family like what she wanted, she's done so much on the family in her revenge campaign. In her mind, we must all pay for her hurt feelings, even though her hurt feelings are all her own. We can't help her.

So far, the dirt she's dishing out on the family is on and off. We might get a quite spell for a few weeks then she starts up again. One of my brothers has no time for her and her drama and for that she accused him of being a paedo. Of course not to the revelate authorities. Just into his phone. It's not true because she was 8 when he was born. How did he have the capacity to groom her as a child when he was a baby himself? How was he so calculated to only target one sister and nor the other? Because its not true.

That is the damage she's causing in the family.

The police don't take it seriously. They it's a civil matter. I did send a solicitors letter but she ignored it and if anything it made her worse for a while. I'm not in the UK I would be looking at an injunction in court against her and that will cost a few thousands that I just don't have.

Her latest round of messages have been threatening to go into my partners place of work. He works in a bar. She found out on Facebook. My partner has her blocked but fake profiles from her. One of her messages read, if you won't talk to me here and acknowledge me here, maybe you will talk through him when I go into X bar to tell him what sort of a cunt you are.

So, what do I do here? Do I warn him of the threat that was made. I talked to my mother and she said, it's a threat, that's all it is. She's a bully and a coward and she wouldn't have the guts to go into a bar alone.

The way I see it, shes holding a very heavy axe to grind.

Me and my sister are twins. We were identical twins. Our parents dressed us the same when we were small too. Aside from our mother, there was only one other person who knew the difference between us and that was an aunt of ours. I very much doubt there was any sexual abuse when she was small. How can there be sexual abuse towards one and not the other?

I had loads of evidence on my phone by the way when I went to the cop station 2 years ago about my sister but they never took me seriously. They were treating it like a domestic issue and because there was no violence from my sister, just abuse/psychological abuse they treated it like a domestic/civil case. Basically I was at the end of their list of priorities because they would deal with other domestic issues with violence.

11 days ago, one of my brothers said he was going into the cop station. 11 days later and he's still not gone in. He got a load of abuse from her for a few weeks before that. One of the messages said - tell mother to go an commit suicide. Another message said that she kept all of his details from when they were on good terms and he needed her to do a scanning job for him and she applied for an Australian visa in his name and she did it last year and he has 5 weeks to enter the country and use up that visa. Basically sabotaging every chance he has of entering Australia. He has something so unlawful and illegal to go on now for the cops to deal with but he won't go in.

We've been on different pages all throughout this absolute mess. Nobody supported me when I first went into the station about her. If I had the family backing me up showing the cops their abuse, something would have been done no doubt.

I'm so sick of her. She's a vile, vulgar human and there's no space in my life for someone like her. She hasn't been physically in my life for nearly three years but she keeps dumping on me and the rest of the family mentally.

Theres no one in the family on the same page. Either going into the cops together or chipping in money for a solicitor and court and an injunction. Some of my brothers are abroad and they can't do much across the world. Then there's a brother at home. He's dealing with it all wrong. He either withdraws and stays in his room or exercises a lot or goes out drinking heavily with his friends. I think he might have a death wish because he drove home heavily drunk last weekend and it wasn't the first time he did that. He's gone out drinking with his mates now instead of going into the cop station with what he has and put a stop to her.

Please visit the police again and demand that they take you seriously under DOMESTIC ABUSE.

"The new definition of domestic violence and abuse now states:
Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. This can encompass but is not limited to the following types of abuse:

psychological
physical
sexual
financial
emotional"

Do not take no for an answer and say you will take a complaint against them further if it is not investigated.

It also does not cost a lot to get an order against her, you can easily represent yourself in court for not very much money, certainly not thousands. If she then continues it is another way to turn it into a criminal offense (as well as the domestic abuse) and the police have to act.

Police. All of you. Anyone who has been harrassed by her, report it, wrote it all down, report her and keep reporting her. Said often on here, the police advise that you send a final message very clearly stating that you consider what is happening as harrassment and that if it continues you will go to the police. As a formal cut off point. Stop replying, stop reasoning it out because she is family. Tell your affected employers to also contact the police.
Fwiw my sister does this, targets us all in turn for verbal abuse. She is an alcoholic.

And yes, totally agree as above, @Alenia45 it is abusive.

The family has been completely divided in how to deal with this and move forward in peace and that's all we want at the end of the day.

My brother had a fantastic chance two weeks ago to go to the cops and show them the messages with unlawful and illegal doings from my sister. He never did although he said he would but with every dau that goes by, he won't.

I'm so sick of her. She had a chance all weekend to carry out her threat of visiting my partner in his workplace. And to be honest l, I would nearly welcome her to do that because he would have no problems calling the cops on her.

All day Saturday, she would have sat in her flat with her phone in her hand, and sent message after message into my phone. Thankfully not my main phone but nonetheless. 175 missed calls by lunchtime on Saturday (and only one person had that number and its her).

I'm so sick of her rants and her messages and it's all sick and vulgar from her. Talking about tits and cocks and tangling bits into my phone amongst so much other things and rehashing old rows. The woman wants me down on my knees begging for her forgiveness. It appe3as if she wants back into the family but she wants me and the rest of the family to do the work. She wants me and the rest of the family to acknowledge the hurt she's going thr3and apologise. Wow. Whatever hurt she's going through, is in her head. We are not responsible for her hurts.

Nevermind about her campaign of dirt and revenge over the past few years because we haven't bowed down to her.

She's like a disgruntled ex and she reminds me of a domineering priest from the 1950s and 60s taking huge joy in humiliation. That's all it is.

175 calls in one day and stating horrible things is harrassment. Go to the police, immediately and get it dealt with. She sounds like she may have a problem. is she alcoholic? My mother can show these behaviours and she's worst when spiralled down with her alcoholism.

Leave all messages on the phone, answer phone messages and call logs.