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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Guy I was seeing met a girlfriend after days

28 replies

Crystal1981 · 03/10/2019 17:10

It was just under 2 months, wasn't official but I think it was on the way to becoming it. He seemed very into me, we spent a lot of time together and it was going really well. I was sure he really liked me. He went on holiday for 2 weeks, and met someone else there who's from the UK and was in a relationship with her by the end of the week. Pictures of them were coming up on Facebook but it said she had a bf so I didnt suspect anything.
I wasn't told, I found out via social media. They are now back here and his profile picture is already of them, and people writing on social media how cute a couple they are.
I am in shock, nothing seemed off, he only went for a fortnight and it's like I never existed.
I confronted him and all he did was coldly tell me 'I dont exactly owe you anything'.
Then he claimed he did really like me but 'this happened'.
Ive blocked and deleted him on social media. It's like I never existed, I dont know what to make of this.
Please, dont tell me that I shouldnt be upset because we were not official, as I have seen others being told on here. A couple of months isnt long but still.

OP posts:
Original poster
Crystal1981 · 03/10/2019 17:11

Also, he didn't end things with me beforehand. I assumed we were seeing each other when he got back because I had no reason not to.

OP posts:
Jesse70 · 03/10/2019 17:15

Sometimes u just click with someone more
And it's different on holiday because your with them all the time etc
Just move on it's not worth another thought

Original poster
Crystal1981 · 03/10/2019 17:17

I know but I was seeing him nearly every couple of days.
He would say stuff to me like youre amazing, I cant believe Ive met you etc. I really thought we had a connection.
Before he went he said he would really miss me even though it was a fortnight, and was hugging me for ages..
I dont get how you can act like that with someone then have a girlfriend less than a week later, it's like he's a sociopath.
He claimed before me he hadnt slept with anyone for 2 years, then after me it was literally days after, that made me feel special 🙄
I wanna quickly move on

OP posts:
Intheheat · 03/10/2019 17:20

Block, delete, stop looking on social media. If you do all that the hurt will go quicker. Don't try to get closure just move on.

Original poster
Crystal1981 · 03/10/2019 17:22

Ive done that and I hope that will help me now.
Just hope the next guy wont do that. He didnt even have the decency to tell me, I had to find out from social media. I guess I never will get closure but it just stings

OP posts:
MargotLovedTom1 · 03/10/2019 17:24

He's not a sociopath, just an arsehole. He would've been called a cad in days gone by.
It feels shit now but you've had a lucky escape.

Original poster
Crystal1981 · 03/10/2019 17:26

Thanks, youre right I have had a lucky one. I didn't know what to call him but ive literally never known anyone to act all into me, forget about me in days, then say they are in a relationship with someone theyve known a few days.. It's quite odd and very hasty, but he's someone else's problem now.

OP posts:
bumblenbean · 03/10/2019 17:27

That’s shit OP. I had a similar experience years ago. Major love bombing, then suddenly met someone else and went all weird. Took me a while to get over it even though we were only together 3 months.

If it’s any consolation, I’m now married to a much better catch 😂 so good ones do exist!

You’ll get there, just have to give it time.

Original poster
Crystal1981 · 03/10/2019 17:28

I'm glad you met someone better ! Yeah, love bombing is the word Id use. I dont know if I believe the 2 years story, or even if I was the only one at the time 🙄
What I find disgusting is that she by the looks of it got with him whilst she had a boyfriend, hed have known, so he's clearly a dick if he gets with taken people.
Urgh

OP posts:
LonginesPrime · 03/10/2019 17:29

Ive blocked and deleted him on social media. It's like I never existed,

It's like he never existed - you'll be fine and are now free to find someone better.

He should have had the decency to tell you what was going on as it's pretty low to let you find out on social media like that.

But better you know he's an arsehole now than to find out once you've built a life together.

BobbyNewport · 03/10/2019 17:30

Have you posted about this before? It seems very familiar...

Original poster
Crystal1981 · 03/10/2019 17:30

I kind of wish he didnt 😂
I know, what a creep. And putting his profile picture as them 2 literally a week after messaging me sweet nothings, he's actually weird 😂
It's like something out of a film, but yeah exactly I was Lucky to find out so early on :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Crystal1981 · 03/10/2019 17:31

I mentioned it briefly in a previous post yes !

OP posts:
user1481840227 · 03/10/2019 17:41

You are definitely allowed to be upset even though it was only 2 months.

But you'll never understand it and he'll never explain so don't ever expect him too and keep him blocked!!! Because guys who engage in arseholey behavior have an awful habit of contacting exes when they want some attention or an ego boost!

Original poster
Crystal1981 · 03/10/2019 17:43

He maybe never intended to get serious with me but liked me to some extent, then met her and thought wooow this is the one or some shit like that.. Ok fair but he was an arsehole about it.
I said to him that if he thinks hell be seeing me again he can forget it. Not only that but he got with someone who had a bf which is low. I will be fine in time :)

OP posts:
DonKeyshot · 03/10/2019 18:31

It sounds like he love-bombed you.

Celibate for two years? Nah. Don't believe it.

Give it a couple of months and his current squeeze will be where you are now.

Of course you'll be fine - you've dodged a bullet and there's no shortage of fish in the sea.

Original poster
Crystal1981 · 03/10/2019 18:41

Yeah me neither. He's a sleaze, him sleeping with someone else literally a couple of days after me makes me feel like I was nothing special at all but I guess that's his problem.
He will just become a bad memory in time !

OP posts:
Dljlr · 03/10/2019 18:46

I mentioned it briefly in a previous post yes !

Bollocks, you have loads of threads about this. Threads about him when you were seeing each other, threads when he was away, threads when the Facebook thing happened, yet more threads when the Facebook thing happened, another couple of threads about the Facebook thing, thread about chatting to him on the phone from wherever the fuck about the Facebook thing, this fucking thread...

No idea what you're after op, you've had all the good advice. You were acting like a creepy stalker even before he met this other woman and it's not getting better. MOVE ON.

SparklyMagpie · 03/10/2019 18:52

@Dljlr THANK YOU!! I snorted at the "briefly mentioned" comment as I that's bollocks

Original poster
Crystal1981 · 03/10/2019 18:54

OK sorry but youve got me confused with someone else, ive only had an account for about a fortnight. This is my 2nd post. Bit confused 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Crystal1981 · 03/10/2019 18:55

I have seen some threads like this but I think it's probably a common situation sadly :/

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 03/10/2019 18:57

Not it's definitely just your situation. I don't know what has changed since everything on your recent thread?!

Original poster
Crystal1981 · 03/10/2019 18:59

Look I have had this happen to me. There probably has been similar stuff because there are a lot of arseholes out there. I really have no idea who youre talking about. This has happened to a friend of mine too sadly.

OP posts:
BuildBuildings · 03/10/2019 19:03

I searched for other posts from op and there was just another thread. I do know people can change username but still...

Original poster
Crystal1981 · 03/10/2019 19:05

Yeah I posted a week or so ago because I have crap luck with men lol. I briefly cited this. I think blocking him has been the best idea :)

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