****FUMING**** Run into OW today ...should I ask her for a 'meeting'

[Riss70]

I am SOOOOO angry - I ran into OW today at work and when it seemed that perhaps I was starting to 'deal' with matters it all came crashing back and I needed everything I had to not smack her across the mouth.
Emailed H and informed him that at that point in time I HATED him and he was a ASS and that grrrrr I almost walked out of work (work in legal would lose job if I did smack her and SHE is not going to get te satisfaction)

Agrh searching for support back up something anything - should I call her or perhaps set up a lunch meeting tomorrow (is that stupid....)

i think u should get a photo of her fugly mug and make flyers

DO U KNOW THIS WOMAN????

HER NAME IS {BLAH BLAH}

SHE TAKES GREAT PLEASURE IN FUCKIN OTHER WOMENS HUSBANDS...

PLEASE BEWARE SHE IS AS CONTAGEOUS AS FOOT AND MOUTH AND FOR SOME REASON MARRIED MEN WANT TO CATCH DISEASES OFF HER.......

then post them to the houses on her street and where she lives.....stick em all over her car

I have only read the OP, but I have the following advice: Don't rise to her bait. It is theraputic to have fantasies about egging her car etc and mumsnet is the best place to do this!! But, don't let that bitch see you getting wound up. Don't ask her for a meeting - leave the stupid cow alone, don't even bother speaking to her, unless necessary. Show her indifference. Do not give her the satisfaction of seeing you upset or angry.

Also, re the situation with H. It may be (some time in the future) that his guilt becomes much greater than your hurt. You can probably get over your hurt (given alot of time), but it is harder to get over the guilt of the fact that HE did this, not just to you, but to his lovely family. If it were me, I woudl try an mend things with H and try and vent most of rage on MN. The most painful thing for the OW will be to see you and DH happy again.

r u feeling any better this evening???

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support - i SOOOOOO needed it.

I generally do rise above her but as there were several otehr things happening that day her prescence just ate at me like acid. Generally I flit in and out of the support staff office like my world is the epitomy of pleasure and I have not a care in the world.

As for meeting with her superior that is a great idea however it is only a matter of time before her manager asks to meet with her because she is of dubious character and in my work place this will bite you on the bottom evntually (I work in a criminal law environment and she generally assocaites with persons on our client base) so I will sit abck and wait for karma to take hold - it will in time. AND her work in not competent in no time at all she will bugger up some paper work badly (something exceptionally complex will undobutedly land on her desk) .

I would not do any of the things I fantasized about allthough it was VERY nice to do so.

As for H and I he is trying very hard to make things work adn there are days when it seems as though his guilt is taking hold. I do not punish him all the time - I don't see that as productive. he is going over and above what one would expect but in the circumstances I am quite happy to let him do so . He has committed to the family and me and expresses signifgant remorse about his actions therefore at this satge I am willing to work things through and give him an oportunity to show me how much he regrest his f*ck up.

AND FINALLY YES YES YES I am feeling much better this evening

Thanks so much MN's this place is just what I need at times. xx

.

nice one glad your feeling better

just wanted to add my support, i too have been there recently and need those thougts of 'quick fix' revenge, and the fantasy is a good therapy. but like you i know i could not do any of these things. I sometimes hate myself for having these thoughts as i know i am a nice person really and to wish some of the things i do is not in my nature.

At the moment i am holidaying in a wonderful place with the children (he is joining us soon as he could not get 3 weeks off work!!)

I have just had such a laugh reading this thread and it made me smile so thank you all for some safe revenge tactics for me too.

Must go now some rays to catch - must look relaxed and georgous for when h arrives (and for the locals until then!!!!)