He's a open book apparently- Red Flag?

[locketsprocket]

Ok so been chatting to a guy online and now swapped numbers and arranging to meet weekend after next, he keeps on about being a open book and will answer any question or tell me anything I want to know honestly

Why?? Am I missing something, feel like I'm not asking the right questions I was just going with general chat and waiting until we meet as what we going to talk about otherwise

Should I be concerned

well yes because your intuition is telling that something is wrong.

Listen to it! By all means meet up with him but it's like someone repeatedly telling you they are kind. Ha.

Does he want you to say the same, that you will answer any question? What is the context of the conversation? (Is he trying to move it to a more sexual tone?) I dont know why but someone repeatedly saying they are an open book suggests to me either a) rude and overly outspoken (I will say what I mean and mean what I say with no regard for anyone's feelings b) Actually trying to convince himself that he is open when he is the exact opposite c) he cannot be arsed asking questions to initiate a conversation or d) he is hoping to talk about sex. Call me suspicious

Just seems to add it into convo everyday

The book (me) remains open for you, anything you want to know at any point just ask, anything st all I will be totally honest"

Just getting a daily thing and kind of putting me off but not sure why

Hmmm. How comfortable do you feel to say the same back? I wonder if he has a very specific question he wants to know the answer to about you and this is his (backwards) opener? If it is every day I would also be a bit

At the very least it sounds extremely irritating! I can't imagine continually highlighting something that I perceived to be one of my good personality traits. At worst he wants you to think he's an open book to mask a more sinister side of himself. Personally I'd find the repetition a massive turn off.

IMO I think maybe it means he might try and force emotional intimacy/confessions.

His implication is because he's a supposed open book, you should be.

No-one tells a new acquaintance everything (well, not if they're normal or maybe have social skills, anyway.) And that's ok!

It's a bit creepy. If he says again 'I'm an open book' etc, you could say 'I'm not/most people aren't until they really get to know someone/have known them a while.'

I don't like people who say things like that. I have never found anyone who proclaims their honesty to be honest. I wouldn't meet him.

I dont think saying im an open book should be a red flag. Not as a single statement but the way its worded and being repeated over and over would concern me.

Fwiw i would and do describe myself as an open book because i am. It isnt always a good quality.

Don't meet him. I've been in a similar situation and yes, it was a red flag. Always, always, listen to your gut. It's your early warning safety system. Your post has actually given me the creeps as it's familiar.

Just to be clear, it's the pushing and repetition of this statement. He's trying to get you to be be an open book too. People who do this will usually then use that information to mirror you, future fake and love bomb you before dumping you out of the blue or becoming abusive. He's trying too hard to show he's honest. This tells you he's not. It's narcissist/abusive man 101.
Next!

I also think he could be trying to force an intimacy that only time will bring, so at best a bit desperate and keen!!

Same Peabodys I can't even explain why and I'm pretty good with words usually. Just the person I knew that said stuff like that had his very own unique version of what honesty was. He had an answer for everything, seemed plausible but it turned out he couldn't tell the truth about anything. I could ask what he'd had for lunch and he'd lie about it.

Maybe tread carefully with this one.

OP, you’re uncomfortable because it’s creepy. Who wants to bare their soul to someone they’ve just met on the internet?

I’d be swerving this one if I were you. Be very suspicious about anyone who tries to convince you of how honest they are.

mine too Peabody. He had his own version of kindness. He just said it because he thought it was important to me. Probably because I told him in an earlier date when he was mining me for information.

Anyway, I think date but your instincts shouldn't be ignored.

Yes, trying to force intimacy. Sounds like a precursor to love bombing.

Irritating and weird, the repetition.

I’d feel very uneasy too.

I’d be wary of him trying to ask intimate or sexual questions but he’s starting with wanting you to ask him.

Dodgy. Listen to your gut.

The two "I'm an open book" men I knew turned out to be very odd indeed and not very open at all! They lied a lot...so it turned out!

I'm wondering if he's hoping I will turn it sexual! Which I definitely won't as I'm looking for s relationship not a fling

I had similar only he told me he 'wore his heart on his sleeve' like fuck he did, abusive arsehole and sneaky with it. For me a MASSIVE red flag.

millstonegrit Yes! And "I'm a passionate person" as an excuse for causing shit once the mask slipped.

locket if your spidey senses are going off, listen to them. I don't think anyone wants to influence you, we don't know him - maybe he is just an open book, but it's great that you're keeping your wits about you.

Oh the old 'open book' line...that means he wants to talk about himself and how important/ interesting/ relevant (delete as appropriate) he is A LOT, or the open book will be a work of fiction drafted via his tongue...with the intended outcome being some action for another organ of his body, before he moves swiftly onto his next target being such an 'open' book as he is, like. Proceed with great caution...

I'd be googling his arse off and closing that book.

The last guy that said that to me is currently in prison for fraud arising from online dating scams.

The hills are that way OP >>>