Awkward

[Mrshappy2019]

I’m currently in the middle of a break up with my husband and have had to take a few days off work here and there. My male (married) boss has been very supportive however then made a pass at me yesterday it was nothing bad but was awkward as I had to decline him. Do I just carry on as normal or should I inform his wife who I actually know quite well

Yes of course you should tell her, particularly if you know her well

So he has only been supportive in the hope of getting into your knickers? Yep I would tell his wife and I would tell him that he has crossed a line, just because you are going through a breakup doesn’t mean you are going to drop your knickers for him!

OMG. So sorry, what a horrible situation. Yes, tell her if you know her well, and if you have an HR department, tell them too.

What size is the company. Do you have hr? I would go that route before I told the wife.

And if you don't have hr, and tell the wife, prepare for him to force you out.

It's difficult because you don't want to put your job at risk or make things even more awkward. But the other hand, why the hell should be get away with behaving like this just because he's the boss?

Sleazy bastard. Tell his wife. And your HR department.

What a creep.
Agree with telling HR and wife

I know I should probably tell her but I’ve a lot going on at the moment. It’s only a small company and I don’t want to make a huge ordeal out of it. I was just surprised really as we’ve had some long chats and he’s been very supportive but over the last few days he was saying how he has had some marriage troubles. I’d just shrugged it off a bit but then he told me how he found me attractive and would like to take me out to cheer me up. Again I made my excuses but the pass was him moving into kiss me which I moved away from. He was very apologetic and said he didn’t know what came over him

If it's a small company with no hr and you tell his wife you need to prepare to leave. As unfair as it is.

Hmmm... depends how much you need your job.

My moralistic side says tell her, my survival side says don't.

Eurgh. I was going to ask if perhaps you'd misinterpreted his offer of support and comfort, but having read your update, obviously not.
On a personal level, I wouldn't tell his wife, it could have major repercussions at work, and you have enough stress in your life at the moment. If he does anything else untoward though, tell her immediately.

It's quite common for some men to view recently separated women as fair game, the dirty fuckers.

@favouritesong yeah I know, he’s embarrassed now I can tell and I doubt he’d try again cos he is a nice guy (I thought) yeah I just feel bad on her but maybe I just let it go. It feels weird now I know how he feels about me though

He’s already apologised. You’ve made your feelings clear.
I’d let it pass. But if it happens again, I’d go to HR.

Under the circumstances, as you have enough on your plate at the moment, I'd not tell her, but keep your distance from your boss. No more cosy chats - strictly professional. When you're more settled you can look for another job. Another fresh start for you.

It sucks that you're in this position because he's a bloke and the boss.

As it's a small company, that does change things slightly; you'll probably be making it even worse for yourself if you do tell his wife.

I'd start distancing myself from him; no more cosy/long chats. And once the dust has settled a bit, get the CV out and start job hunting... but if you're in the middle of a break-up I would imagine that's the last thing you want to do at the moment but do bear it in mind for the future).

I wouldnt tell her tbh , What an arse though

Oh wow. What a prick

Many years ago when I was divorcing, I was approached by various men. Neighbours, husbands of friends etc who thought they were doing me a 'favour'. I was vulnerable as my husband had been unfaithful with many woman but I trusted my gut feeling to avoid them. Wishing you good luck and always trust your gut.

Ugh! It never ceases to amaze me as to how fucking entitled men are,

I am so sorry that through no fault of your own your work place is now under a shadow for you.

for arsewipe manager

for you

Career advice: forget the morality and "doing the right thing" - that will likely result in you losing your job at the worst possible time. Play it strategic, keep it to yourself, play it cool to the boss, allaying HIS awkwardness so he stays on your side (if you need his reference), update your cv, find new job, leave.

I'm sorry OP, it's so, so unfair and these guys are such horrendous predators, picking just the very worst moments in our lives to strike.

The reality of it is that you can't save all the women. Right now, you need to save you. Save yourself.

Tell her. She deserves to know what a creep her dh is.

Find a new job and then tell her. She won't believe you and he'll make your life too difficult.

I wouldn't tell her as it could effect your job, or certainly make things more difficult at work.

I shouldn't worry too much about 'how he feels' about you. He feels about you like a shark does when it senses wounded prey.

I told her

Blimey. Good for you!

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