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Original poster

Contact/No Contact

44 replies

Salvatore · 30/09/2019 09:34

Hi. I am currently trying to have no contact with my ex. We had been in contact for a few weeks after the break up and it was just hurting too much so i decided to go no contact. Well limited as we have children. Does no contact work? He has reached out a few times to ask about seeing the children and sometimes adds a and how are you to the end, i feel like hes just being polite? This time though he did it the other way around. He asked about me and then said and how are they. Could this mean anything? I havent replied yet as i feel like i should make him wait abit so as he doesnt think im sitting aroind doing nothing waiting to hear from him

OP posts:
Pugworld · 30/09/2019 10:15

If you really want limited contact with him, just reply that the kids are fine or whatever and don't add anything about yourself. It sounds to me though that by ignoring him, you are hoping for a reaction. Is that the case?

Original poster
Salvatore · 30/09/2019 10:28

Sure i would love a reaction but i dont see that happening. I just havent replied as i dodnt know quite what to say plus hes used to me replying almost instantly and i dont want him thinking thats the case anymore. I dont want him to think im.just waiting around for him and that he can pick.me back up anytime he likes. I want him back, yes, but i want him to want to come back. Which means he would have to work for it! I just wondered if there was maybe any significance in him asking about me first this time when he either hasnt been asking or has just been adding it to the end like an after thought

OP posts:
ScarJo · 30/09/2019 10:33

This reply has been deleted

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Sausageroll123 · 30/09/2019 10:37

Again?! Confused

Pugworld · 30/09/2019 10:43

Personally I wouldn't read too much into the order of his enquiries. Think about how often you start messages to friends with 'hi, how are you'. It's just being polite.

Original poster
Salvatore · 30/09/2019 10:53

Thats what i thought at first but since he ended things hes not been doing that. Hes beennasking about the children and then sometimes putting a 'and how are you?' On the end. As though he thought he should, to be polite, but when he has done that its seemed very much like an after thought. This time it was how are you, and then the 'and how are they?'. Like he actually wanted to know

OP posts:
ScarJo · 30/09/2019 11:02

He definitely wants you back this is just his way of worming back inWink

Original poster
Salvatore · 30/09/2019 11:04

I wouldnt go that far. I just wondered if maybe he was starting to show abit of an interest

OP posts:
ScarJo · 30/09/2019 11:06

I would say so... He'll be back

MandalaYogaTapestry · 30/09/2019 11:06

If he wanted to be with you he wouldn't have left. That's the only thing you need to keep in mind. All the rest doesn't mean absolutely anything. So stop torturing yourself with hope.

ScarJo · 30/09/2019 11:08

What about social media, op? Does he still have you on there?

Original poster
Salvatore · 30/09/2019 11:08

He left because of his mental health. He was in a very bad place at the time. He seems to be doing better now

OP posts:
Original poster
Salvatore · 30/09/2019 11:09

Yes he does. Does that make a difference?

OP posts:
ScarJo · 30/09/2019 11:14

Nope just confirming you are the op I think you are.

Sausageroll123 · 30/09/2019 11:15

@ScarJo

She is

Original poster
Salvatore · 30/09/2019 11:16

Who is it you think i am? And what does him having me on social media have to do with it? Im assuming that if you think im someone else that your answers arent genuine?

OP posts:
Moondancer73 · 30/09/2019 11:19

Is there a reason he can't see the children?

Original poster
Salvatore · 30/09/2019 11:22

He can see the children whenever he wants

OP posts:
MandalaYogaTapestry · 30/09/2019 11:36

OP, please please stop fooling yourself. A man would not leave a woman who he wants to be with. You had a home and children. This is not about his mental health. I am not trying to be cruel, not at all. But please stop looking for a good reason for him leaving you. The only one is that he didn't want to be where he was.

JorisBonson · 30/09/2019 11:36

Absolute insanity.

Original poster
Salvatore · 30/09/2019 11:42

I'm sorry but i know more about his mental health than you do and i believe he would. He pushes everyone away when he gets bad. Including his own mother and the rest of his family. He completely isolates himself from the world believing that that is what is best for him and everyone else

OP posts:
MandalaYogaTapestry · 30/09/2019 13:18

Next time you check he will be seeing someone new. I wonder how caring you will be about his mental health then.

Original poster
Salvatore · 30/09/2019 14:02

Why would he be seeing someone new?

OP posts:
MandalaYogaTapestry · 30/09/2019 14:37

Because that's what happens when they leave one relationship. They begin another.

Original poster
Salvatore · 30/09/2019 15:02

Yes i know thats what people generally do. But i thought you meant because of his mental health or something. Even if he was to start a relationship it would most likely be a rebound or meaningless because i dont think hes in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship

OP posts:
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