Joint account or two separate accounts?

[spanglyundies]

We have a joint account. But DH wants to go back to separate accounts as he is fed up with me being a bit rubbish with money. I don't go overdrawn but he says I keep giving him surprises and he's sick of it. Like I thought I had set up a direct debit last year and now we have a £400 bill because it has to be paid in one lump sum. He wants our wages to go into our separate accounts. Then we'll apparently keep the joint account as a 'bills account' that we both pay into each month. I wonder do people really have separate accounts? He says they do-but people married 10 yrs as we are. I feel like it's a step backwards in our relationship.

We have our own accounts and pay into a joint account for bills. But if one of us has an unexpected bill we pay more/less into the joint account depending on who currently has more/less in their personal account. Not sure how that would help with your £400 bill though as it will still need to be funded - i.e. if it was from your account then you’d have less to pay into the joint.

Separate accounts here, I had a joint account with my exh and like you I’m not good with money and I got annoyed with the moaning, everyone has different ideas of what’s enough money and since then I have always had my own account, me and dh both pay for different things which work out about the same, we also earn the same ( me slightly more) so it works out fair.

Yes, we get our wages paid into the joint account, but have a standing order to our individual accounts with the same amount of 'leftover money' (after bills and food shopping) each. So we have the same amount of 'spends' each, regardless of who earns what. That way we can choose to do what we like with it. I like to save a bit, whereas my DH usually spends all his.
We also have standing orders for money each month towards Christmas and holidays from the joint account into a savings account, as we know how much we need to have per year for those.

Thanks for responding. Not too worried about the bill as we actually do have some savings (recently got small inheritance from my DGM, nothing much but will be fine to cover bill) but it was a classic example of the kind of 'surprise' I give him. I'm really glad to hear you both have joint accounts as I've taken it really personally and needed to hear that it is a normal thing

We have separate accounts and put 60% of our salaries into the joint account for bills, the weekly shop, holidays and minor repairs, and any expenses associated with the kids (school uniform, club fees, etc.). It works well.

Happyornot that's exactly what we have had and I thought it was working great but after 10yrs he wants to change it up. He says any surplus at the end of the month from each of our separate accounts (not including our spends money) will go into holiday savings but I'm worried the surplus will get mixed up with his spends money. He earns more than me by about £350 a month I think. I'm a bit bothered that he will end up keeping that because he won't bother to sweep up the excess or will get it confused with his spends. He says it won't. I'd rather we both had separate spends accounts without getting it mixed up with other money but he just wants the three account- he thinks 5 accounts is excessive which I have to agree but I am worried all the same

We each have separate accounts which our salaries are paid into - and we both have standing orders to transfer a set amount of money over to our bills account at the beginning of each month. Has worked wonderfully for 20 years!

So grateful for these replies. Feeling a lot better for asking you lot!

We get paid into our individual accounts then each keep £x to spend on whatever we wish and put the rest in joint. My salary is higher but dh gets bonuses. If either of us needs a boost we discuss taking from the joint account and usually help each other out.

We have separate accounts. We each get paid in to our own separate accounts. DH transfers his half of the bills/food money to me when he gets paid and I have all of the outgoings come out of my current account. I have a savings account which is used for family holidays / big spends and I also manage our dd's savings account. Whatever each of us have left, we spend as we individually see fit.

I am an accountant. My husband is a builder. We play to our strengths!

Separate!

I'll never have a joint account with my husband. Just doesnt make sense to me at all.

We have seperate and a joint, the child benefit and a few other benefits go in the joint. It is useful and we have 1 bill that comes out of it. Individual wages go in individual accounts.

We have separate accounts, both get paid and then transfer rent, food, bills money into the joint account. Leftover money is for us to each spend or save as we want to

We've been together for 24 years. We have a joint account for bills and our own accounts as well. We pay a set percentage each into the joint account and what ever is left in our own accounts is ours to do what we like with. Joint things like holidays come out of the joint account as do things for the children.

At the start we did have one account and it caused no end of disagreements.

Together for 11 years always been paid into separate accounts then put set amount in (same % of both our earnings) into a joint "bills&mortgage" account, which also pays for stuff like food shops and meals out.

For big stuff like holidays we'll work it out and both pay a contribution from our own accounts.

We have a situation you describe - the one your DH wants to change to. For similar reasons in the early days. And it worked pre children. In recent years as I earn less, I've run up credit cards as I didnt like asking him for money and always felt he would think I was spending unnecessarily (really truly not - cc is full of food shopping/clothes for DC's etc, I barely ever buy anything for myself).

A few months ago I decided it was ridiculous. So now, we have the joint account for bills, our own accounts, and a very 80's style "kitty" that we both put money into, in the house. We both take money from it if we go shopping, or we go out for tea etc. And in the holidays I used it to fund days out with kids whilst DH was at work that I would have previously paid for myself and ended up completely out of pocket but feeling like I couldn't ask for money. Maybe a similar set up would be a middle ground for you?

We have both separate accounts that we brought to our marriage and a joint one to which we transfer money each month and I pay all the bills from it (am better about remembering bills than she is.) Also a joint credit card for joint expenses and separate ones for our own buying Occasionally if one of us is a bit short we will help each other out. It works brilliantly.

We have separate accounts because DH is absolutely rubbish with money, if it’s there and he has access to it he just has to spend it even on rubbish just for the sake of spending it. Not a hope would I have a joint account with him

It’s normal we’ve been doing it for 16 years no problems

Thanks all. Massively helps

Our salaries go into our individual accounts then we each transfer a set amount to the joint account for bills, holidays etc. This is in proportion to our pay I.e. the higher paid person contributes more.

Really, though, you need to take more responsibility over finance. I’d be annoyed to be landed with a surprise £400 bill - and it sounds like it’s not a one off. Keep a closer eye on your money and what is going on with it. Don’t just assume monthly payments have been set up - check it. You can’t opt out of responsibility AND complain about his way of dealing with it.

Can't you have both? Transaction accounts are usually free so have as many as you want.

We have separate accounts. We split the bills according to how much each of us earns, so I pay for and organise the car stuff and he does the energy etc. We have conversations about money frequently and discuss any big spending together. We've been together 21 years, married for 10. We talked about a joint account but it seemed unnecessary.
I can see your partner's point. If it's just you spending, you might be more aware of what's going in and out.

OP I think it will get confusing if he keeps all the spare money in his current account. How will he remember what he has left to spend? Martin Lewis recommends piggybanking, where you have different accounts for different things. So we have the three accounts you will have, plus an ISA each, where we put our own savings because we have different spending habits. Then I have just opened another savings account that the holiday savings and Christmas money go into. 6 accounts is maybe excessive but it's between 2 people and I have a spreadsheet of how much goes into the holiday etc pot and as I take from it (to buy a Christmas present, say), I deduct it from the spreadsheet so I know what is left.

So will you still have the same amount of money each after bills and food shop etc? But u can't save anything left at the end of the month in your own account, he wants to keep it in his current account? Why is he keeping the £350 extra he earns, as u should be getting half of that? My husband earns nearly 3 times my part time salary but we split equally. Sorry if I have misunderstood though!