I don't think he's very nice :(

[timetoditch]

I've namechanged for this because I'm a bit embarassed.

I've been seeing someone for about 4 weeks and he seemed quite nice - a bit loud and more self-confident than me, but he was sweet, said nice things and made me breakfast etc.

This week, he has been a bit more 'honest'. I don't know if I am reading too much into this - I am glad that he feels able to tell me these things but it has left me feeling that I am not what he is looking for (which is, of course, fine) and that he doesn't really like me in which case, I wish he'd just say so.

Over the past two days he has, amongst other things:

Pinched my 'lovehandles' (I am a size 8, so there isn't a lot of me really) and said "What is this? "

Asked if I am growing my armpit hair - when I said No, and pointed out that I shaved every day he just said, Oh, I thought you were. They're not hairy, honest.

Looked in my wardrobe and said, "Oh, is this all you have? Why don't you try to look sexy some time?"

So, when are you going to learn how to give a good blow job? (never had complaints before, and am happy to improve/ change technique but think it could have been said in a nicer way)

I don't know if he is just speaking his mind and doesn't realise that he is being hurtful or if I am being a bit oversensitive - I have little confidence in myself at the moment, am going through a messy divorce, have put on 20lb in 4 months (although that is under control and, as I said, I am a size 8, so not huge) and have bad skin and hair a lot of the time.

I just want to spend time with someone who accepts me for the mess I am.

So, do I continue to enjoy the company and ignore the things that bother me, should I try talking to him about this or do I just ditch him now?

good advice from all, and please oh please update us and tell us what you said to this utter waste of space when you dumped him!

I used to go out with a bloke like this. I went out with him for a year, and the one thing I'm proud of is ditching him on the phone at his work to go out with someone who lived round the corner from him so that every so often he'd glimpse me looking blissfully happy and loved-up.

Big warning bell comments like those, tantamount to emotional bulling. Get Rid.

I haven't read the replies but if they don't all say 'ditch him' then I shall be incredibly surprised. Please ditch him.

Over the years I have concluded that any man who is not wildly enthusiastic about one's body should be ditched pronto.

Ditch this man, without a second thought. Please.

what a horrible man. Ditch him asap. I would rather be on my own than with someone who put me down and made me feel small. A boyfriend in the early stages of a relationship should make you feel like a million dollars imo. If this is what he's like now, think what horrors are still to come. Feel very angry for you

Ditch him, what a cheeky bastard.
Who the hell does he think he is??
Bet he's far from perfect, but you don't go pointing it out

Even as an insecure 20 year old my policy was never to take a man's phone number - my reasoning was, if he wasn't going to bother to phone me, I didn't want him. Wild enthusiasm was always my sole criteria for dating anyone. If men were late, stoned or drunk or failed to show proper appreciation, they were out! You deserve to be adored!

chuck him please and do it now.

I started seeing someone who felt in necessary to comment on my teeth - they are very straight and fairly white apart from one that is so slightly in and not noticeable and he felt the need to comment.

He also commented on other things so i ditched him. The fucker didnt deserve me and this one doesnt deserve you.

come back and tell us what he said in response

ditch. NOW

have you dumped him yet?

My partner is a bit like this, tells me he hates 3/4 length trousers when he knows Ive just bought some. Will tell me I look "ok" when he knows Ive made a big effort to look nice. Tells me my new shoes dont go with anything I wear. Tells me I have a "baby belly" and "child bearing hips", commented that I have a double chin...I soon realised he is VERY insecure about himself.

AS - gawd - it must drive you roudn the bend

He's not.

Dump him as quick as you can1

If he is like this now-just imagine what a complete tunt he could be down the line!

Have only read the original post but you are right. He sounds like a knob.

If he really likes you and cares about you he would be trying to build you up not put you down.

Talk to him about this obviously if you think he's worth fighting for but I personally wouldn't bother with a man who thought so little of me and so much of himself.

Duhump him.

Just started reading the thread upwards. Forget about talking to him! Just dump him. Like the "small cock" jibe!

sorry that's ambiguous. That was dump him with an extra dump, NOT hump him, ever again.

If you ignore his comments they will just escalate.
I can't believe he's criticising you just four weeks into the relationship. Time to ditch, definitely, or at least have a firm word about the criticism and ditch if it doesn't stop.

The last thing you need as you are going through a divorce is someone like him pulling you down further. He wants to control you so you quickly and ultimately become totally dependent on him.

He needs to be dumped by you, no two ways about it. What is v worrying is that he's acting like this 4 weeks into your dating each other.

You need to live life on your own without a man in it for the time being.

He's an arse, and could quite possibly become an abuser, as he obviously gets off on making you feel bad. Get rid.

dump him!!!

Ditch. Nasty.

At least it's relatively easy a month in, so do it now.