Not sure if I've been ghosted or something else ...

[thingsaregoingtochange]

My brain is frazzled from trying to figure out what’s happened. I met C on bumble, we have had quite an intense month of dating. It’s been wonderful, he made me feel amazing, special, beautiful... you name it. We connected on so many levels where I finally thought I’d met someone who I could develop a relationship with.

It started to go weird last Saturday. I met him for dinner and drinks, we then parted company the next day, made plans to meet on Sunday as he was going away on business Monday to Wednesday. He needed to go to work but he said text me when you get home and call me later. I text he responded and said he was en route to a party in the afternoon he was going to. I called that evening he didn’t pick up, called again couple of hours later still didn’t pick up. I had that awful anxiety feeling that this wasnt right. Later I text but it didn’t go through, called and went to voicemail. Long story short he eventually got in contact saying he’d smashed his phone and couldnt take calls and had to get a new handset. Later that morning I text again about meeting up... he didn’t respond and I didn’t hear a peep out of him until Midnight on the Tuesday where he apologised for going AWOL but had some some business to take care of and wanted to meet up upon return from his business trip. All good.

We text on and off during Wednesday then in the evening I asked when was he back in the uk, he said he’s just landed, we a lovely text conversation but I said call me when you get home, he said ok baby, I’ve missed you. Anyway... he didn’t call and since then I’ve called he hasn’t picked up and sent two texts both have been ignore.

So there we have it... I’m totally confused... how can someone say they miss you only to disappear again within two hours of that conversation. I know he’s alive as he’s been online.

If anyone has an ideas, please let me know as I am baffled ....

Met someone else at the party, maybe.

Anyway, stop chasing him.

Too many excuses, something happened at that party and he’s hedging his bets.

He playing you sorry. He has met someone else. Delete and ignore.

My guess is he has met up with an ex at the party and is stringing you both along until he sees how it works out.

If he calls/Text ignore him, you are doing all the chasing . Let him sweat and make yourself unavailable.

Echo pp to stop chasing him. Try to put him out of your head for a while. You asked him to call you and he didn’t, sorry to say you should not have followed this up with calls or texts. I also think he’s hedging his bets. Don’t contact him again unless he contacts you first and even then I’d be wary.

Been there and collected a few t-shirts. My advice is move on now. People talk about loving yourself and this is what they mean...... he's treating you like shit so YOU decide you're worth more than this and move on. You finish it, for yourself and get on with your life. No drama, no messages, just do it. He's shown you're not worth a second text to him and now believe you're worth a hundred times what he is.

Remember, while you're with or hanging on for me wrong, you're missing Mr right

As a veteran of both internet dating and of dysfunctional relationships, here is my rule of thumb:

If a relationship starts out as "intense" and he made you feel "amazing, special, beautiful ... you name it" - it typically will not last.

A lot of people think these are the indicators of a good, strong bond, but, in truth, they are usually the opposite. It took me a very, very long time to understand this and the dynamic that drives it.

Yes he met somebody at the party.

What twats some men are...

Come one, it’s obvious. He’s put you on hold but may want to pick you up again at some point so won’t put an end to it.

His probably met someone else , which is fine as it’s only been a month but he should of been adult enough to say.

Even if he gets in touch, I’d ignore him now anyway. Unless his hands have been chopped off, he has no reason to not of sent a quick text.

No matter how busy someone is they absolutely can send a quick text, it takes seconds.

Aim higher love.....

Love bombers are never good news. You barely know someone at the start of a relationship so if they are telling you how amazing and 'special' you are ect... either they are crazy obsessive weirdos - or they are bullshitting you.

Sounds like he is a player who has someone else on the go. Either that or worse - he is a narcissist or similar, starting the test when they blow cold or totally vanish and then come back after a while with a shit excuse in order to see if you will allow it with no complaint.

Either way, avoid.

Block him, op. He is messing you about and you deserve better. I'm sorry, it hurts to be treated like this, but he's shown you his true colours. He's a liar and doesn't deserve you. Be thankful you found out so quickly.

He’s put you on the bench OP, he’ll sub you in as and when he pleases - if you let him.
Stop chasing him.

The first time, at the party, was possibly (slightly!) forgivable as a one off. But for him to do it again a couple of days later, No! Enough is enough. Not good enough. You deserve better and if you allow this behaviour it will only get worse.. Disappointing I know, but move on.

He's cold.. this is dying

Yep, he's a cunt. Sorry. It's a rare man who doesn't behave like this, unfortunately, especially if you met through OLD and there are no mutual friends to make them at least pretend to have manners or a conscience.

I'm angry on your behalf op. Don't contact him again

I would have called him once and left it at that, stop chasing him. His message is clear, you are certainly not a priority anymore and deserve better.

After 8 years of marriage I found out my husband was having an affair a month ago. She had no idea he was married or even had anyone else in his life. I work twilight shift 6 days a week so he had all the time in the world to wine and dine her and be full on 'everything she ever wanted'. This woman has spent the last week texting and phoning him and, being someone with low morals he has failed to mention to her the reason for his sudden disinterest. Also, coincidentally, his name starts with C. So dont go beating yourself up over this bloke, you are worth 100 of him, same as I am.
There are some good ones out there tho, chin up xx

Lovebombers aren't capable of a normal relationship because it's all about how you view them. As soon as they think you 'see' them, they get turned off by their own reflection in your eyes.

You know now, he's playing you, hedging his bets, so he can no longer project the intensity.

Dated one of these. There ubiquitous on line.

Stop chasing him. He was feeding you bullshit all along. Men say these things in the early stages & it doesn't mean shit. If he liked you he wouldn't leave you feeling & wondering like this. I fell for a lot of this shite in the early stages & what I learnt by watching & reading a lot of dating advice stuff (Matthew Hussey you tube - he tells you it like it is ) is that lot of Men are never 'too busy' to contact the woman they want. Block him & forget about him. Don't give him the opportunity to come back to you with another bullshit story.

Think he may either be in a relationship or married.

Delete and forget him, seriously. Guy I had been seeing has gone away for a while, at one point he didn't get in touch for 4 days and then blamed a lot of meetings/flights, carried on being sweet to me and I believed it.
Then I found out via social media (not through his honesty or lack of) he'd met girlfriend and he didn't reply because hed been getting busy with her.
My friends had been telling me 'chill out he's just busy' but I knew it wasn't right.
Bottom line, as other posters have said, it takes second to send a quick text.
You can do a lot better, dont let him put you on ice and hedge his bets, forget him.