Dont no what to think

[flippyflapper]

This is a difficult one.

Been with dh since i was 16, 35 now. We have children.

Not to drip feed, when i was pregnamt with dc2 14 years ago he cheated on me, we worked through it and stayed together.

Last night a friend called asked for advice about a car, i have no clue about these things so said i would pass her to my dh. We were sitting at the table and his phone vibrated and it was a message from our group chat we have with friends, so i picked it up to look, dh turned saw i had his phone and literally grabbed my wrist and twisted my arm to get his phone back.

When he finished the ohone call i asked what was that all about he said me and another mutual friend are planning a supprise for you over chat.
I private messaged mutual friend and said this wasn't true hadn't spoke to dh in ages, i explained situtaion and said if it is a supprise i dont want to no but just to confirm what dh has said.

Dh at work mutual friend came over and showed me all messages in past to prove.

What would you think, i mean i guess its obvious dh hiding something.

I really hope you feel supported more after speaking with your mum.
Just get away for a while if you can.
Clear your head.
Get some love and support around you.
The feeling sick thing I remember like it was yesterday.
Sweet sugary tea and ice-lollies got me through.
I just could not stomach or keep down anything solid.
Soups and smoothies might help you as well.
Just keep your sugar levels up and keep yourself hydrated.

Op he cheated on your when you were pregnant. Ok you said he has not put a foot wrong in 14 years.....until now!!!

Bruising you as to not allow you to see his phone. You already know what he is up too. You can spend months maybe years looking for proof or stop wasting your time and start getting things in order.

You know the saying trick me once shame on you, trick me twice shame on me.

Take care x

My mum has been great.

He is actually going away for 2 days on sunday with one of our mutal friends so ill be glad when he is gone, will give me time to think and get myself sorted.

I have a job lined up through a friend, bothing great and hard work but it gets me my own money, so far so good.

We haven't actually spoken anymore and he is at work today so thank god for that.

Do you think it could be something to do with his trip away this weekend?

There's clearly something he's covering up and not wanting you to see. Is this friend definitely going away with him?

Yes it's friends work trip 100% sure. I can't say where without it being to outing.

No nothing at all to fo with the trip, although i wish i was going instead

if you actually think about it op, if you have nothing on your phone then it wouldnt even be a subconscious thing to grab you that way. it wouldn't have crossed his mind.
but as he was so panicked, his mind connected the mutual friend he was on the phone with, with another 'mutual' friend. he was so panicked that he hurt you, something which he has never done before. he definitely is doing something again.

Well I've had the silent treatment all day, i came to bed and he has stayed down stairs.

My stomach is playing up, i have issues with it anyway, but i can't eat i feel so sick

How you feeling @flippyflapper? ❤️

I didn't manage to sleep till gone 5am so very tired. thank you for asking.

So today he has tried talking to me, apparently its all about money, he had borrowed some and didnt want me to worry etc. Dh earns very well, but apparently a car he is getting needed a chunk of money which he didnt have that chunk at time, its all paid off but he didn't want me to no.

Non of the wiser to be honest

Clearly he’s up to something to grab his phone so violently as to bruise you! Great you are looking for work you need that independence though I appreciate it must be hard with 5 DCs but DH should do more to help. He clearly wont admit anything and even if you found evidence he would deny....

He's had enough time to think about it, and that's all he's come up with?

so the story keeps changing. such a liar. where is the paper trail of this car he is buying? and the money that he used? where is the transactions?

The money is true, spoke to the person today, also the car.

But i don't get whyyyyyy he would keep that from me. He had already deleted that conversation ages ago.

As of tomorrow i will have 2 days to think clearly

Could easily be that he had in fact had a conversation with someone about borrowing money but that wasn't the thing he didn't want you to see.