Going to try and keep this short:
I come from a very, very toxic family (abusive, hostile, selfish, gaslighting b*stards). In the past, I was naive and must've come across as easy pray because they all used me for years (either emotionally or financially) and I feel I've spent most of my life trying to please them but never really getting the recognition/acceptance I deserved. Years and years of therapy has taught me to (semi) let go and get on with my own life. Despite this, I still end up getting reeled into their dramas and ALWAYS come out the bad guy who can't do right.
Present situation is my only brother has had a baby- hurrah- except his wife isn't talking to any of the sisters (4 of us) because my brother has been stirring between everyone making himself the victim. His wife has openly and verbally abused us all but especially me (she returned an expensive gift I gave her at her wedding and donated all the rest of my presents to her to charity and then sent me a card telling me what she'd done and how she thought I was a b*tch). My other 3 sisters are going to go and visit the baby on the weekend (because no matter how bitchy they are to each other, they pull out all the stops on official occasions like these) and one of them has got in touch to see if I'd like to join them. They're also gifting the baby £100 each. I feel quite bitter about this because when my baby was born a year ago- he got stained/damaged hand me downs from his aunts and one new outfit each and my brother got him a baby grow and a pack of vests. Everything was gratefully received at my end but I can't help but feel different/an outsider again. Also, I'm currently expecting my second baby and feeling quite emotional and will probably end up in tears if I go and see everyone pretending they love each other and wondering why I'm the one they so openly mistreat without a care in the world.
Should I still go, fake a smile and see my nephew or should I stay where I am and make my excuses? I come from a culture where family is revered and you're meant to sacrifice yourself for them. I'm done with all that bullshit because my lot don't deserve my loyalty. My brother is a drama queen so if I'm the only one missing, he'll go to town on it (for context, he rang me when I'd had my baby and I had come out from theatre after an EMCS and blasted at me for having the baby earlier than he thought because he wasn't now able to come and see us as HE'D planned and blamed me that it was going to cause problems in his marriage- a total douchebag- my sisters are just as worse if not more). Also, I'm not working atm and although we're okay on just my husband's salary, I can't justify gifting £100 to anyone. I'm also reluctant to gift the baby outfits because of how his mum donated all my expensive gifts to her to charity- in hindsight at least they went to a good cause but I'm not in a position to spend money on things and then those things being given away IYSWIM.
Wwyd? Please help me make sense of this situation.