A month or so ago I had what I thought was a one weekend stand with a bloke I'd just met (I know, disgraceful, but it was fun.) I really wasn't expecting it to be anything more. We have some mutual friends and are on the periphery of eachothers social circles.
I heard from him afterwards - a text or two here or there - all pretty luke warm. I didn't feel him to be terribly interested, however he did ask me to a weekend festival where our mutual friends would also be a week or two later. I went with an open mind about what to expect and again, the first night, found him pretty luke warm. He was fun and friendly but mostly socialised with others, as did I.
However, the second day and night of the festival we reconnected and spent some nice time together. Since then he has been really keen. He asked me over to his the next weekend and made a real effort. He'd obviously cleaned his flat from top to bottom, he took me walking on the beach, and paid for a very expensive night out for us. Contact between us has been pretty much daily since. I don't do endless texting back and forth (and thankfully neither does he) but there has been a short conversation once or twice a day. He expresses excitement about seeing me again, wants to know how I am etc.
Here's the dilemma. I thought it was just going to be a one night stand. It's all been a bit boozy so far and definitely casual. However our next plan to see eachother feels like more of a date. We have arranged to go out for a meal on a school night (I am paying - it's my turn) and for it to be drinks free due to work the next day. He has taken a mornings leave off work so that he can stay at mine and not have to leave super early (he works about an hour away.) This feels like it's edging away from FWB territory.
At the moment I can take it or leave it. But if we continue to go on these kinds of dates and to sleep together I will begin to get attached. I can't stay casual forever. How to bring this up with him? Or is it best not to at this stage?
Second issue: two female friends have warned me that he doesn't treat women well. This opinion seems to be based on him having apparently messed about another mutual friend. But according to him he only spent a night or two with this woman, at which point she became super keen. He didn't reciprocate her feelings and made the mistake of trying to extricate himself gently, instead of bluntly telling her he wasn't interested. She felt she was getting mixed signals and was hurt. As far as I'm concerned this isn't ideal behaviour, obviously, but hardly the crime of the century?
How to proceed? I don't want to get hurt myself and I'm still at the stage where I can walk away unscathed. However, I do quite like him. So...