Friend/lover/Affair

[stilllookingforthehills]

About three months ago a friend who I've not seen for 19 years got back in touch with me. We both dated for a short time whilst he was in the country as now lives in Germany. Fast forward to three months ago we stared messaging each other, very flirty texts and then he surprised me with a weekend away which was amazing. He lives with his two children and girlfriend and tells me they've not had sex for over a year. We have become very attracted to each other and he's told me this week he loves me. He asked me tonight was there a word for what we do, affair? Friendship? Long term friend? It's made me think tonight that's what it is, friendship with sex. Should I stop what's going on now or continue? A couple of weeks ago his girlfriend of 12 years saw his phone with a message for me. She confronted him and he said he had feelings for me and that it was important to have communication with me. The girlfriend said it was ok to continue as long as no sex took place. Should I stop this now or carry on with this love affair? Will I get hurt when he decides to end it? He's due to fly here next week telling his girlfriend he's away on business. Would be grateful for any advise. Thank
You

Block him and don't even think you're important to him. That's his version of what he's told his girlfriend.

Run for the hills.

It's absolute bullshit.

1. Not a chance she's ok with it
2. Not a chance they've not had sex
3. Not a chance he'll leave her
4. Not a chance you will ever be happy being the OW

Well, you seem overly concerned on whether or not this "love affair" will end up hurting you, without thinking about the long term gf and children whose lives you are planning to ruin. I don't think you'll get much sympathy here for how this might backfire on YOU.

You know deep down that what you are considering is wrong. If it's such brilliant love affair then he will do the right thing and leave his partner and start afresh with you- but he's not going to do that because he knows he can probably have his cake and eat it by feeding you some bs about being a "long term partner" (I mean really, why do these men think women are so stupid?)
You should run a mile from this, OP, and you know it.

That should say "long term friend"- I mean, what even is that?!

He asked me tonight was there a word for what we do

I can think of a few choice words for the pair of you.

The girlfriend said it was ok to continue as long as no sex took place. Should I stop this now or carry on with this love affair? Will I get hurt when he decides to end it?

So you ARE having sex and he’s told his GF you’re not so she’s allowing him to spend time with you, as he’s lying to her? And you’re worrying about YOU getting hurt at some point? What about the mother of his children and the children themselves? How about the hurt they will feel when all is revealed and she hopefully kicks his cheating arse out?

This isn’t a ‘love affair’ - it’s just your common or garden everyday seedy variety.

Get some self respect and some respect for other people and grow the fuck up.

Well it's all me me me, isn't it op?

You're an easy shag and nothing more, you're fooling yourself otherwise.

Oh dear dear dear. This won’t end well.

This can’t be real.

What an absolute arsehole you are if it is real.

Yes, you should stop. Everyone will get hurt, except him of course.

Oh come ON this is just beyond belief!

Only innocent people who will end up hurt is his poor gf and children! He's disgusting for doing that to them, but you're absolutely no better! How would you feel if it was other way round??
I hope his gf realises she and kids deserve better!

I can't believe you even have to ask this.

You are talking like it's some mills and boon story.

He's fucking you whilst lying to his wife and kids.

'love affair' 😂😂😂

I have 2 words for what you would call what you have - 'fucking deluded'.

He’s a cheating dog and you are OW. End of.

more fool you

Are you for real - naive or narcissist?

How disrespectful to his partner. To yourself.. To his kids...
I know you're not the one cheating but you know he has a family and you still do it so you're just as bad.... Disgusting behaviour..

And you have to be having a laugh needing to ask about this? You seriously can't see its wrong? Have you no common sense at all!? Can't say either of you are nice people in any way shape or form, hope it comes back to bite you HARD, as you deserve.

Troll lol lol

DM fodder.

Lay off the cad until he's single. And in fact lay off the cad. Why doesn't he invite non sex partner of 12 years to meet you?
No? That's because you're shagging each other eeeeurgh
As long as you trust him and feel proud of yourself

Your user name is appropriate. The hills are that way >>>

Do you really want to be someone’s bit on the side?

If he can treat the mother of his children with such contempt, he’s not going to think twice about doing it to you.

I hope you’re not real.

Well aren't you a pair of peaches.

You really have to ask? This is an affair. Get some self respect.

The term to use is long term mug! You're being a mug for him. He is cheating on his long term partner, prepared to blow his family apart and doesn't think enough of you to care that your friendship will be ruined if it does all blow up.

Well, this went down like I thought it would.

Really 🙈

Why don't people look at previous threads?