Do men sleep with people they are not attracted to?

[NameChangeNumpty]

I’ve posted this on the sex forum but might get more traffic here.

I’m a regular MN poster but name changed for this.

Long and the short of it: do men sleep with people they aren’t attracted to?

Me and DH have been together 15 years. In that time I’ve put on around 5 stone, him about 4. Our sex life has gone from 4+ times a week to about once every 3 months. Not through lack of trying on my part but tend to get turned down and this really hurts. And I also feel a bit perverted for wanting sex a lot.

When it does happen it’s great. But I keep wondering if my weight gain is to blame and making me sexually unattractive. Do men still sleep with women they aren’t attracted to?

He says there’s nothing else stopping him from wanting it, just not being in the mood that much.

I have considered there may be porn use / wanking etc which makes him not want it but he genuinely doesn’t have much time alone for this. I keep going back to my weight as the reason for him not sleeping with me and he has to literally psych himself up for it hence why it’s so infrequent. And that it’s because I’ve got so fat and unattractive he doesn’t do it much and just does it out of duty

As Kathy Burke once said "men will fuck a ham sandwich "

@NameChangeNumpty,

in men, weight gain happens around the middle (visceral fat) and that fat gives off oestrogen, so his sex drive has probably dwindled as a result

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/06/120625124914.htm

He is a very good catch thank you. He was really young and just wanted to be in a relationship like his brother and friends. He stuck with her for so many years despite taking all his wages, he had to beg for his own money, she would embarrass him in front of others etc. He even paid maintenance for a child that was not biologically his (the child was a baby when he got with her). He brought the child up like he did his own. He works hard, he is kind, caring, loving, considerate, respectful, understanding, funny, supportive, patient and well mannered. To be fair you don't know what he was actually thinking, neither do I. But as I said he was young and daft.

OP try Kim Beach

Try to focus on liking yourself. It can't be attractive to anyone if someone hates themselves then keeps pawing at you. Get walking, get my fitness pal on your phone, monitor what you're eating and get some weight off.

You should be losing weight regardless of what he thinks. Do it for yourself. It’ll just be a bonus that your sex life probably improves. But not only that but you’ll be healthier OP and that’s the main thing

This. You need to be healthier for yourself and your children. This is about much more than sex or appearance - it’s about having more energy now and reducing your risk of joint problems, skin problems and high blood pressure now and cancer, heart disease and diabetes over the next few years.

Your kids are still young and they need you. I bet you have friends and other family who love you too.

Stop making it all about him and his feelings. If you were single and planned to never have sex again in your life, Id still say the same to you.

This needs to be about you caring for yourself.

And BTW there’s nothing “ perverted “ with wanting to have a lot of sex with your own husband!