fio - because it is hard to see the light and to get out - look how long and how many posts it took SB to realise that she was worth more and that he had no right to do this and even now it is hard for her - its not at all cut and dried and I am sure the fact that the house is big has nothing to do with it.
Sbs friend SB will be able to tell you exactley how it is and just how hard it is and I am sure that even now she sometimes thinks life would have been easier to just let him get away with treating her like he did but he had no right to and no right to hurt the mother of his children like that, no right to mentally torture and undermine her and chip away at her very being until she was so weak and tired and self doubting. These men are all the same - bullying idiots who think that the only way to maintain a relationship is by being nasty and having a woman under their control - after it happening to me I can tell you otherwise - a true relationship is one where both parties respect and love each other, where they would not dream of hurting each other with an unkind word let alone an act of violence, it is one where your partner values you, compliments you, makes you feel good about yourself because they like to see you glow intheir praise, it is one where they are proud of you, where they recognise your acheivements and encourage you to achieve more - to make you a better person and to help you believe in yourself. You will one day find this in another relationship - when you do it is hadr to accept - hard to not jump when the other peson raises their voice - hard to not feel like you ahve dissappointed them if they are not the life and soul of the party all of the time but over time you eventually realise that your partner too has their off days and unlike the arseholes they don;t say it is because of you.
It is a long hard slog, you will sometimes feel like giving up, you will be scared and doubt yourself and think you are doing wrong - you will also think that maybe you should stay for your children - don;t - YOU DESERVE BETTER, YOUR CHILDREN DESERVE BETTER and he has no right to do this to you.
Please please get help even if it merans an injunction - I will help as much as I can but I think maybe it would be good for you and SB to comfort each other plus I am hugely pregnant - after stuff like what you and SB have gone through I have got out - fought for my daughter adn am still fighting for a finacial settlement but I am happy, loved and treated as I should be at last.
Good Luck and hopefully things will work out for you.