Nc and posting as I just need this off my chest and don't want to share in real life.
4 years together and tonight I found out that he not only cheated, but has gotten her pregnant (no dc's of our own). My heart has never been so broken. I made myself sick from crying so much. I feel sadness and grief for the life I thought we'd have together. We've spoken every single day for 4 years. He was my best friend.
He has been distant lately and now I know why. I haven't even looked sideways at any other man since the day we met. Meanwhile, he's kissed women on nights out that I had no idea about. He showed me pictures a (different) girl was sending him, naked from waist up. There has been several on nights out apparently and 1 woman he slept with.
I hate myself for still loving him but I won't go back this time. No previous knowledge of cheating but a rocky relationship and enough suspicions that I should have left long ago.