Outed a cheater now I'm getting the backlash

[Wrongfordoingright]

I've been dating what I believed to be a really a nice single guy for 6 months.
We went out on dates hes stayed over mine and vice versa.

Last week just by chance I was talking to someone who knew him and they told me he had a girlfriend who he'd been with for 2 years I asked for more details on this woman looked her up on fb, because I've been cheated on in the past I thought they she would want to know, so I explained to her what had happend and that I was unaware they were together, apologised and left it at that.
She came back at me being very nasty calling me names and that their relationship was too good for anyone to come along and destroy it.

Again this left me quite shocked, as I'm still feeling very hurt and upset at finding out the man I was with had a girlfriend.
She has now got my phone number, I'm assuming from him?! and has been sending me message after message telling me what a trashy woman I must be to try and break them up.

I just don't get it why stay when you know your partner is cheating, then bash the ow?

Just block her and him? You explained that you didn’t know that wasn’t single.

She is hurt and lashing out, there’s no need to analyse her behaviour.

Block her.

Because she feels hurt and betrayed and although deep down knows it’s not your fault....it’s easier to blame you than her boyfriend.
I guess she’s trying to justify his behaviour by blaming you.
Block her and move on. You did the right thing!

I've blocked both now, but am still getting voicemails.

That's harrassment, you need to tell her she must not contact you again or you'll go to the police. And do it. It's fine to be totally delusional if you like, but you can't harrass somebody about it!
You did the right thing op, she's just not all there.

Delete the voicemails.

You could log everything, just in case it gets whappy.

You weren't to know. Just block her.

'Hi CheatedOn, I understand that you must be hurting but I'm not the problem here and I'm not prepared to be harrassed. This is a final warning: stop contacting me in any way or I will take your abusive messages and voicemails to the police. Do not contact me again.'

If it continues I will go to the police.

I cannot believe how stupid I was, I thought I'd met someone really genuine after being single for almost 4 years.
After my ex left my confidence was so low and it's taken me this long to get back to being even semi normal, now I've got to deal with it all over again.

Have a solicitor send a cease and desist or something OP. Inform her that you have reported her to the police for her harassment- and do so.

She is an idiot but obviously hurting a great deal and not able to accept the truth. You did nothing wrong and she is blaming you because she can't blame him without having to process that he did it as well and their 'perfect' relationship actually never existed and her DP doesn't give a shit about her and fancies other women that he is out sleeping with.

You did what was best, protect yourself and sorry you were involved with such a vile individual! Clearly he is very good at lying, and happy to endanger peoples sexual health- you are well rid.

She's probably very very hurt and it's easier to lash out at you. Don't give her the response to vent anger at and walk away.

Women who blame the OW are really dim, I would be thankful if someone told me my DP was cheating. Then I’d be angry at the person who deserves it the man.

I'm hurt too, I've spoken to him and text once since I found out and hes said hes sorry.
I told her before I blocked them, that I won't be her verbal punching bag I did nothing wrong and shes venting at the wrong person.

I'm guessing he has probably told her you are lying to try and split them up. Warn them to stop or you'll go to the police & follow up with the threat if they contact you again.

Of course she is going to hate and blame you.

It has to be your fault!

Otherwise, she would have to look at the reality of the character of the man she has invested in. She can't do that. Denial is a powerful thing.

OP, you have no idea what lies he's feeding her in a frantic attempt to ensure she doesn't kick his cheating arse to the kerb. Turn the messages over to the police if they persist but you'll drive yourself mad trying to get her/their behaviour straight in your head, so try to dump it in a mental box marked "no need to open this shit any more" and move on.

To find that out must've been a shock- hugs xxx I think his girlfriend must have issues or something, to behave so bizarrely- and/or I suppose she's kind of in shock. You've done your bit, now move on to the next when you feel ready, and in the meantime try and have a relaxing and fun time. 'Another one bites the dust.' :) xxx

Oh I know the cheaters script all to well and know hes probably spun her a load of lies.
She may well be in shock and has made it quite shes staying with him more fool her I've had a lucky escape really and know I'll get over it in time.

This sounds like the other side of a common thread we see on MN.

'A crazy woman sent me a message saying she was having an affair with my DP. DP has never even met her...why is she doing this?'

Block her. Delete the voicemails.

Maybe you should have sent her screenshots / evidence so it wasn't one word against the other!,

Sounds like you've had a lucky escape though.

Before you blocked her you should have sent her the screen shots of your msgs with him and signed off “good luck and contact me again I will involve the police”

@Hederex That made me laugh I've blocked both of them.
I'm just so tired!

Do you have pictures or messages between you both? I know you should ignore the crazy. But I'd want to screw with her.

Yes I have pictures and messages that I've already sent, not anything grafic just two screenshots to prove I'm not lying.

Are they still in contact with your mutual friend? Surely everyone must know by now.