Partner has put on weight, would you say anything?

[Bookaholic73]

My partner has put on quite a bit of weight over the last few months and to be honest it’s a bit of a turn off.
He says we should eat healthier, but then eats HUGE portions plus pudding and snacks.
He knows the problem is how much he eats, but doesn’t seem to put any effort in, even when he says the weight gain is bothering him.

He was annoyed because when we both weighed ourselves this week, he had gained another stone and I have lost a pound.

Would you say anything to your partner about the weight gain being a turn off?

You can’t make him lose weight. You can’t make him WANT to lose weight

Ignore people who say it’s about your shopping or cooking - if it was then you would be overweight too. When he tells you that “ we “ should eat more healthily, agree and suggest he cooks some healthy meals for you both.

He’s overweight because of what he chooses to put is his mouth. No one else can control this. The more responsibility you take for this , the less there is for him. It’s 100% his problem to solve and from the sounds of it, he doesn’t want to.

So you are stuck. All you can do is stay and put up with it or leave.

Of course it’s up to you whether or not you are intimate with him. You must also do what you want, just as he does with fool.

Sorry, I wish there was an easy answer, but there’s not.

Cook less is a great idea and removing all the shit food from the house. I'm terrible and have no will power, so if it's there I'll eat it, but if it's not, it doesn't bother me...

@ISmellBabies

That’s a bit harsh!

I’m not attracted to fat guys, nor am I attracted to skinny guys.

Healthy guys, muscly guys, fit guys, toned guys 😍

It’s a sign of health & I don’t want to do an act that could possibly lead to reproduction with someone who is not healthy.

The OP has said nothing wrong.

Btw - I don’t mind if the guy is carrying a little fat - that’s fine.

But fat, sweaty guys whose legs rub together when they walk = gross

Yes, I mention weight to my dh

It sounds like he’s put some weight on quite quickly. I’d worry about what’s going to happen in the future. I mean if he carries on at the same rate.

You CANT remove all the junk food, her husband is an adult who is perfectly capable of going out and buying more.

It’s like saying you can stop your husband drinking by your buying alcohol.

Your NOT buying alcohol

OP, '@Wauden. I don’t see how it’s my job to baby him. He should be making the decisions for himself.'
I was just suggesting that you cook less food in the first place so that he can't eat leftovers. You complained that he eats leftovers. So, produce less food.

You say yourself that he is NOT making the decisions for himself.
Nobody is suggesting that you baby him.

I definitely want to be told when I get fat because (a) I want to be attractive to my partner and (b) I have some self-respect.
And age has nothing to do with it: you don't have to get fatter as you get older. My grandparents didn't, my mother didn't, my father did and I never understood why

Thanks for the input everyone.
I had a chat with him last night. I said I was unhappy because we had been eating a lot of junk food recently and I was gaining a little weight.
He said he was unhappy too. So we sat down this morning and wrote out a healthy meal plan together, he never normally helps with that, so it’s progress.
He didn’t add any naughty treats to the trolley like normal when we went shopping today either.

Fingers crossed this will work.

Just responding to some of the previous questions and replies.

He cooks at weekends, I cook during the week. The majority of what he cooks is healthy, the issue is snacking on chocolate etc.

No, I didn’t think about cooking less as my teenage children all take leftovers for work and school.

@Bookaholic73
If it doesn't work, then sorry be blunt. Tell him he is fat, unattractive and you don't want sex any more!

It will push him one of two ways lol. Hopefully the right way

Pussyfooting around will only work for so long

Uh, he is eating smaller portions but then having massive bowls of porridge or 4 slices of toast after dinner coz he isn’t full.

Make massive portions.

Just fill it up with veg.

I thought he did the cooking at the weekends ? So he wasn’t happy with the meals and the portions he cooked himself ?