Really nervous at times

[Mia3456]

Hi I’ve always been a bit shy as a child but since having my youngest I’m overly nervous about everything! Yesterday for example just going to hairdresser was really anxious for me. Any tips on how to overcome this? I suppose lack of sleep and not eating properly are contributing too

It sounds like you are suffering with anxiety, have you spoken to anyone about it? Anxiety is awful and having children can heighten the symptoms

Lack of sleep is so hard but so is the huge change parenting brings. It rocks your world op. Best thing I can suggest is try to find some balance in your life. Do things for you! Relax, go out for lunch with friends (I say lunch because I was always too tired by nightime). Go to the cinema etc. Consider looking into a mindfulness app like headspace, wrap yourself up and watch TV etc. Having children is exhausting and it's so easy to forget about yourself.

If you can't do these things, get worse or don't improve go talk to a health visitor or GP. It happens to alot of us.

You are right- lack of sleep & a poor diet are probably at least part of the problem. Is your partner helping much? Have you seen your doctor recently? How old is your youngest?

Lack of sleep and a poor diet ARE signs of anxiety . Try mindfulness or Calm app to regulate your breathing.

I have spoken to doctor and I also believe it’s anxiety. I’m on waiting list for counselling. I don’t have high hopes as I had it before and it didn’t work but will try again.

No cake partner not helping as he works abroad do only see him every few weeks or so.

Thanks for the headspace suggestion I will look into that.

I just keep feeling that I can’t cope with life anymore. I don’t feel like doing lunch or seeing anyone to be honest it just gives me more anxiety being around people. My kids seem to calm me down but I can’t be around other people especially friends with kids I don’t know I just can’t handle any extra noises and people. I do t want to feel like this anymore.

I think CBT could really help you. You can self refer online. CBT is excellent at controlling anxiety.

Has anyone reading this recovered from anxiety? My biggest concern is that you can see from my face I’m anxious, I’ve neber been good at hiding my feelings do when people mention anything about why I’m looking so nervous, stressed, worried etc. It makes me feel worse as I don’t want everyone knowing everything I’m feeling

What was it about the hairdressers? The interaction or being out? CBT and mindfulness (you can get free classes through go sometimes) would be good to look into.

Yes I have pretty much beaten it if makes you feel some relief, I still have the odd day where I feel anxious but I have lots of tools and tricks now. Is it to do with what people think, could be social anxiety?

I understand op. I know what causes my anxiety but no matter how hard I try, I still feel anxious like going to hairdresser or the shop or somewhere where I have to make crappy chit chat. I'm not very good putting on a front. Big hugs.

Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. I actually found an anxiety group that has meeting on Mondays. I’m debating whether to go or not. I’m not making s joke but I’m actually having anxiety about the thought of going to an anxiety self help group! I need to decide soon whether to go or not. I feel it might be a waste of time or might be really awkward. Say if I’m the only one that turns up!

Give it a try! You could always leave early if it is not quite right for you.

Hi cake I didn’t go. I just worked myself up so much that decided it might be best I don’t go.

but I’m actually having anxiety about the thought of going to an anxiety self help group

This is perfectly normal ! I used to have anxiety about going to see the doctor about anxiety . I had some online counselling and she said you are as entitled to go and see the doctor about this as anyone with a different kind of illness . I used to worry about wasting the doctor's time and what he would think of me . That has stuck in my head - her advice.

What is it about hairdresser and the meeting ? The feeling of being in somewhere "trapped" ? Try to put your fears into words.

@TheStuffedPenguin trying to put into words the fear I felt with the hairdresser - what she thinks of me, what I should speak about, awkward silence and I think just generally feeling like crap. I find it hard putting my feelings into words to be honest do this might not be everything. I also suppose I felt a bit like I didn’t deserve to be pampered.

How old are you? Could well be peri menopause. Can happen at any age but if your post mid 30’s then more likely.

Mia you need to speak to your doc about this and get a referral for some talking therapy or even some anti anxiety meds.

My anxiety is really bad today. I just can’t even leave the house. I’m stressing about everything. Had my first counselling session this week and to be honest it’s made me feel worse. Have another one next week. I just can’t cope

Can you say why the session made you feel worse? Did you feel pressured to talk about things you weren’t ready to talk about, or things that seem unrelated? Maybe you felt like they weren’t listening well?

I just felt talking about everything so overwhelming. I also feel that certain people I see everyday during school run are making my anxiety worse. I know people are going say oh ignore them etc. Etc. But to be honest they don’t do or say anything awful. They’re just being normal friendly but any interactions right now I keep going over and over analysing in my head. I just don’t want any interactions with anyone but why don’t people get that. Why do they think it’s weird if u just want to be left alone and not speak to anyone

I think I understand- after a chat, you dissect every detail?

Some people talk a lot more than others- and before they’ve even started, your brain is already ‘full’?

This has been me all of my (now middle-aged) life. When I talk to people my hands shake. People comment on it, which makes it 10 times worse! I wish I had seen the GP about it decades ago, but I find anti-depressants (Mirtazapine in particular) help. Mirtazapine has an unfortunate side effect of weight gain in varying degrees - not so bad that I'm enormous, but I now exercise more to combat it. Coming to think of it, if anything, vigorous exercise offers a more pronounced short term support for my anxiety, something to do with burning off adrenaline. Valerian is also good.

I should add, I am also a counsellor. It's very normal to feel worse after a first session. It can take a while to accept help.

cake you’re spot on! I feel my mind is full after talking to so many people a day. That’s really good I can actually explain it now with your help! Why do u think that is?

fatA thanks for that. If it’s normal to feel like this after session at least I know I’m going in right direction. I don’t really want medication but valerian is that herbal? I’m open to trying herbal but just don’t want medication. I know what u mean about people commenting and making u feel worse. Why can’t people be a little more sensitive and not make us feel self-conscious! I’m glad the anti-depressants are working for you.