Hi everyone, I'm in a relationship that's had a lot of good times but is nearing a natural end. Long story short, he asked me to marry him and then changed his mind. He's cited family objections but the truth is if he really wanted to marry me, they wouldn't be in issue. It's been humiliating and weird for me. He still wants to be boyfriend /girlfriend, which no.
Here's the rub: he's very unwell. His parents are deceased and he's got one sister whom he doesn't wish to worry by telling her details. Out of respect for his privacy, I don't wish to get into details, but he's in specialist care and if treatment doesn't work he'll have only a few years left.
In the past 18 months we were together I knew about this, and I sometimes drove him to appointments etc. I became his main contact with the hospital and sometimes they phone me if the can't get through to him (for blood test results).
When we first got together the illness was in the "potentially serious but under control" phase and he was living a normal life, exercising and working.
His condition has declined pretty rapidly in last few months.
The thing is, he has good days and bad days still. Sometimes he'll perk up and feel good, almost back to his old self, and then I never hear from him. He'll blow off plans with me to spend time with friends who don't know how sick he is.
And then when he gets another bad day and needs help with care, he rings me. Like yesterday he called me because he was scared, I went round and he had a high fever so I sorted out ringing his consultant, driving him to hospital, then pharmacy, then food shop, then back home.
Yesterday as he was shivering in blankets in hospital he was back on the "We'll get married... someday" bit and I just said, "Yeah okay" and focused caring for him.
This is all very weird and difficult for me. I told some friends when we "got engaged" and they don't know the rest, I honestly don't know what to tell them.
Not sure what I'm asking but I feel trapped and confused.