Limerence - help

[NewHouseFreshStart10]

Could anyone share their experiences with limerence?

I think I may be going through this in a mild way and looking for suggestions to get past it

Do you think that if one person is limerant, then the object of desire is limerant too, if you have a strong and deep connection? Is this your experience?

It absolutely stinks doesn't it? I have given a couple of posters on MN the advise to look up Limerence. I suffered really badly from it last year...for over 6 months to someone I wasn't able to have (which made it a thousand times worse). Its a crazy feeling and I thought I was going nuts. I can now say the last few months I have had limited contact and now the craziness has subsided and my body and brain have come back from Mars and have landed safely back to earth. I hope I never go through it again! It will subside OP I promise.

Sports no, I don't think the other feels limerant too, not in many cases. Maybe that's part of why the feelings are so intense for the limerant.

It'll pass

Just make sure you're not confusing it with 'stalking' .. there was a hideous thread on here once, think it ran to a few threads actually until MNHQ deleted it for good. It was full of the most horrendous people, all congregating together, to basically discuss how they could up the stalking of their poor victim. Ugh

Just go cold turkey and don't harass anyone is my advice

Oh and stop giving it a fancy name. In reality, you're in a relationship and mooning around over some other bloke like a daffy teenager.

I've had this too for now for nearly four years, even posted two threads on here about him I was so obsessed, I haven't seen him now for nearly two months and I haven't contacted him at all for about six weeks after he blocked me. He texted me a week or so later and I ignored him, it felt good to have some power over him for a change, it's always him who gets back in touch anyway.The past week or so I've been having missed calls of withheld numbers and then got a silent call the other night. He turns up at my house too if I change my number, I'm just completely addicted to the whole on/off thing.

@PrettyFlyF0rAWiFi that's not the case for everyone. Not all Limerence/infatuation/lust/falling head over heels is bad, unrequited or needy.

Sometimes it's just too much feeling to cope with in a new relationship and it overwhelms. Sometimes it's the response of an anxious trying to get close to an avoidant (my case) whatever it's called the feelings are all consuming. It's never an excuse for stalking or other scary obsessive behaviours. Knowing about 'it' and the intensity helps me because it reminds me that there is more to life than waiting around for an avoidant to text and frees me to live my life and take things as they come.

I sound like a complete idiot

@Mimithemouse I'm not sure I'd call you an idiot but it's no way to live is it?

I’ve had this with someone only to find out she felt the same way. That’s the best feeling.
Then when you admit feelings like that, you find yourself squarely in an affair of some sort as few are strong enough to pull away from feelings (basically just chemicals from infatuation etc) that strong.

All good fun though.

@PrettyFlyF0rAWiFi it's not I know, it really is like an addiction though and I just have no interest in meeting anyone else, even though I know he's seeing other people.

@Mimithemouse maybe you'll wake up one day and realise it's no fun being a mug to some bloke who clearly isn't pining over you?

@PrettyFlyF0rAWiFi He has told me its the same for him, that he has to keep coming back, and it always him that gets in touch as I said. I've no intention of contacting him myself again though, even if it means I'll never see him again, so I have got some pride.

I’m so glad the hypnosis link is helping.
It’s made me so much calmer.

Just wondering how it started for everyone? Mine was literally an overnight thing when I hardly knew the person. And I don’t even like her that much. It’s also made physically ill for days in the beginning. So frustrating

Mine just started out of the blue. After the second time I met her I was thinking of our conversation and it was like a thunderbolt, I suddenly thought OMG I like her so much. It was like something hit my mind. Then left seeing her at the hobby , chatting lots, getting to know each other 3/4 times a week. I'm almost sure she's feeling the same. I'm doing the hypnosis and reading the book on limerence as I don't know how I'll resist if she reveals feelings to me. Reading the book is exactly what I'm going through, like reading about myself. I've had this before a couple of times and it did go but this time round there's the high probability that she has it also so it's important I stop this infatuation now. The book says the feeling is involuntary and it's so true. I just want to feel like I did a few months ago, plodding along happy with my lot, not consumed 90% of my time thinking of her.

Mine started after I had met with him, and chatted to him a few times, at first I thought he was ok looking but not my type. After a few meetings, the shared humour, the way he seems to understand what I'm thinking, picks up on how I feel, sees things the way I do, sticks up for me when no one else will, I just felt more and more drawn. He works hard in a role that takes a lot of empathy, and never seems to tire of it. I almost feel as though I'm in love with him, but I know it's not possible.

I'm going through this: almost 2 years 😭

I found exercise really helped me.

In my case, I'm pretty certain he felt the same way as me, and he cut contact where he could (not entirely, as we are in a group of friends). It devastated me at the time, although rationally I knew it was for the best.

Two years on, I still feel strong feelings, but they are manageable. We are friends, although there is still a ridiculous attraction when we are together.

I am also much much fitter

Did you not feel that if you expressed your feelings you could get it over with? That’s how I thought.
I cut contact at first very early on and was able to set myself free slowly. Until I got a phone call:(
Then everything moved on so fast, the deeper I got in the harder it was to get out.

I had this and it was horrible but got through it.

I think it thrives in situations of uncertainty and when there are seeds of hope. I moved on very quickly when I realised deep in my soul that he was a user and using me for an ego boost and there was no hope.

Interestingly he still dangles carrots in front of me even now but because I see the game now I just find it irritating

THIS. It's overwhelming. And it's reciprocal. But he's married so I've gone almost no contact (so so hard). He's amazing. Funny, kind, smart, empathic, caring. Gets me immediately. It's torture.

Oh and stop giving it a fancy name. In reality, you're in a relationship and mooning around over some other bloke like a daffy teenager

Yep,call it what it is,it's lust/infatuation,pure and simple if it develops into more than that then take a long hard look at yourself and make sure you're not everything stalking territory.

@colouringinpro what you have there is just an affair with a married man. Don't romanticise it