Limerence - help

[NewHouseFreshStart10]

Could anyone share their experiences with limerence?

I think I may be going through this in a mild way and looking for suggestions to get past it

Are you in a relationship? I think the tips are distraction and diverting you’re thoughts if you start to think of them. Also anything that takes them off a pedestal.

*your

Don’t post with bleary eyes.

It’ll pass.

It’ll pass more quickly if you help it along. Don’t ruminate. Choose something else to think about when you find yourself thinking about him.

It’ll pass.

Focus on the things that you don't like about him. That annoying habit of scratching his arse, how much he loves himself or whatever else you can think of. No man is perfect. Every time you think how much you want to jump on him and bonk him, put a thought of him doing something like taking a dump on the loo into your head.

No contact. It’s the only way. And even then it’s hard to dislodge them.

www.livingwithlimerence.com is a great resource.

I saw Limerence mentioned on another post and I looked it up on wikipedia and I am 100% sure this is what's happening to me right now! Please feel free to.message me !! Perhaps when you want to message him you can message me instead and vice versa lol !! I have never experienced this feeling and it's making me feel so crazy!

I'm bi and weirdly have only really had this with women in which a relationship is not possible for various reasons, even though we both had feelings.
My last one is almost down to nothing although occasionally it flares up again after a dream or if I see her for some reason.
Cutting contact or reducing to very limited contact if total is not possible, helps.
I have OCD too and feel it's all linked to the obsessive tendencies that I have anyway. It's a total time waster and emotion sapping experience!

You know that limerence induced feeling you’re getting? That’s your common sense leaving your body.

If you’re single, enjoy the crazy ride.
If you’re not single, you’re almost certainly going to fvck up your life.

Look up all the hormones and chemicals that cause it. That takes the shine out of it.

I'm going through this also and realised what it was when I saw It was mentioned on here on another post. I'm a married woman to a lovely man , three children and I can't stop thinking of another woman. We met through a shared hobby and now text all the time and meet most days through it. I'm 99% she feels the same. She's driven past my house when we've not seen each other for a few days and other things give me the hint that she has it with me also. She's married to a woman with four teenage boys between them but I had limerence with her before I knew she was gay. I pull myself together , make excuses to avoid but then go there again when I'm missing her so much. She's on my mind 24/7 making me forgetful and putting off chores etc.... I know I need to grow up, I'm reading about it to try to loose the allure and then I get a message from her and I'm lured back (not that I'd got far from being lured away anyway). I want this obsession to go but at the same time I feel so alive with it and makes everyday worthwhile. I love our chats, our laughs and the time we spend together. So I've not much advice only read more about it in the hope it goes away like I am. I've never felt attracted to a girlfriend in my life and so feel very confused. It's all consuming and I want to feel content again with what I had before we met.

Only things that will kill it is distance/no contact or meeting someone/falling for someone else.
So if you’re married and work with the person in question, it will be fucking hell.

Just like liverpoolgal82 mine is for a woman. First time ever attracted to same sex. We were texting every single day but I got to the point where I could not stand the highs and lows anymore. I got there pretty quickly, after a couple of months of intensive texting. I was actually determined to finish everything when talking to her did not provide a fix anymore. We stopped talking, things got better, painfully slowly though, and then life brought us back in contact through unavoidable circumstances. I kept my distance for a long time, but she now wants to be friends again. I don’t want to, but I am aware that we may have to brush against each other in the future and that has given me a lot of anxiety. The thought of being friends again makes me anxious. It’s hard to hear it at this point, as it was for me, no contact is KEY. Hope you have enough willpower. Treat it as an addiction, or obsession, as this is what it really is. the no contact has helped me not being so impatient about when she texts back or at all, I still feel now that she doesn’t do enough to put me first( crazy, I know). Since I had a bit of anxiety lately and the feeling that someone twisted a knife in a wound that was almost healed, I desperately looked for a link on an old limerence thread about hypnosis. Not sure if it is what it was posted but I found this one on YouTube :

I know I don’t go under, but it did help me to listen for a few days in a row.

Hope it helps you as well. Let us know how you get on.

Isn't also called infatuation - if truthful many if not most have had such feelings at some point. Limit contact/avoid completely or only in the presence of others, ensure you use your head. No need for fancy names, lust is a crazy thing

It's hard to limit contact due to working with the individual unfortunately, this is leading me to thinking of moving jobs (I was planning on doing this eventually but not quite this soon).

I have a wonderful partner of 6 years, no issues in our relationship and I wouldn't for one second do anything to jeopardise what we have together, I just want to get the other guy out of my head!

I wouldn't say I am physically attracted to him but he is the mirror of me, we have exactly the same interests and have so much to talk about when we are together. I would love to have a friendship with him but I feel like at the minute this isn't possible, just hoping this will pass if I cut contact as much as I can and try and keep myself busy

Leave your job? Jesus. How intense is this infatuation then?
Can you describe?

Leaving your job is not the worst idea you could have. Limerance is a powerful motivational force and few have the strength of character to resist it.

Leaving my job sounds dramatic I know but with what I do it's not as bad as it seems, like I say I would have planned on doing it maybe early next year anyway but I have the option of going earlier so I thought that might be a good idea.

As I said I wouldn't say I am physically attracted to him but I find myself thinking about him a lot of the time, about stories he tells me and jokes we have etc. I find myself wanting to spend time with him and missing him when he's away, I don't want to feel like this at all and I want to be able to have a friendship with him without all this other stuff!

I'm single and think I'm currently going through this. I can not think of one thing about him that I dislike. It's that bad. He's hot, in my eyes, has a fab sense of humour, genuinely fantastic guy. He even doesn't realise how gorgeous he is. It drives me nuts. I find I can't look him in the eyes in case he sees it. The worst of it, I think he flirts with me, but not sure if it's must because I want him to and I'm just seeing what I want to see.

Going through this at the moment, the 1 person that knows the situation thinks I am too good for him. Physically you would never put us together but we just click, in some ways I know deep down we would have never worked but I just want him--to talk to him, be near him and just be intimate

My rational mind is telling knocking some sense into me but the irrational side is taking over. I just want him and him to want me.

As pp suggested it is indeed common sense leaving your body.

I just want to get over this infatuation because it is making me miserable.

The heart wants what it wants and all that.

That's the problem the heart wants what the heart wants and my head is telling me run ! But I literally cannot stop thinking about him.! He too dosent realise how amazing he is but I just think he's the most incredible man and I know I could make him so happy! We kissed and since then I literally cannot stop thinking about him !

I refer you to my earlier comment re: common sense.

I listened to the hypnosis you tube link (using headphones) in a post downthread this afternoon. I'm amazed at the effect it has had.

I've had thoughts about the guy I'm obsessed with but, I've had no urge to text, look at texts, obsess or overthink. When thoughts have come into my head I've been able to dismiss them.

Ok so it's only been a few hours but the anxious, sick feeling is gone and I'm going to listen to it again before bed and again tomorrow.

I'll report back again tomorrow to let you know if it's still working!

Yup, it's still working. I have not even opened what's app today. I've not checked or sent a message and thoughts have been fleeting and easy to dismiss. Wow is all I can say. I wish I'd found this hypno sesh before.

I'm going to give it a go as my feelings are causing me anxiety. All I do is day dream about her and play out scenarios in my head. It's distracting me from normal life. Thanks for feedback.

I too will give this a go- I've not looked for him for the past few days on what's app but I did dream about him last night! Woke up and I was so upset that it wasn't real :(