Scared to end it

[lookingforaunicorn]

After some advice please.
I've been with my bf for 2.5 years. The first 10 months was bliss, I truly thought I'd found the one.
Then little cracks started appearing.

I should have dumped him ages ago but rose tinted glasses and potential got in the way.

Long story short, I'm miserable.
He is very selfish and stubborn and is a mommys boy - totally used to getting his own way and never got told growing up that anything was his fault. He was spoilt and cherished and still is.
As a bf he's a total jekll and hyde. One day it's all wonderful and the next he's vile to me.

I am going away on Monday for a week and I asked him if he was going to miss me. He didn't reply. So I said 'I'm sure you're going to miss my soft skin next to you each night'. He went mad. He said 'do you say these things so that I say them back to make you feel good? I don't want any more of your fluffy bullshit words. If I want to say nice things to you, I will.' I didn't respond but looking back on it, I think that's so mean.
I could go on and on but I think deep down I can't be in this relationship much longer- I need out. We argued on wednesday and he hasnt talked to me since!

I am nearly 31 and truly think I will never find a man who will love and respect me and want to move forward to building a life together.

My bf won't move in with me, never plans dates or going out, he doesn't lift a finger to organise holidays, we still split meals 50/50 or I pay, he constantly owes me money. For my 30th he told me he'd take me to vienna. Im nearly 31 and that's nowhere to be seen.

The reality is, I'm scared. I want to be a wife and a mum. And I just can't see it happening to me now 😕

Well done. Worst case scenario, you don’t meet another man (you will, don’t worry) and you get to spend your life happily doing things you want to do without being put down all the time. Win. You’ve won, right now, even if you’re feeling shaky about it. You’re going to feel much better, soon.

Just dump him and have done with. You will meet other men, and hopefully one that you will want to settle down with. I had an ex that used to tell me all the time that I would never find someone who loved me like ge did. Thank fuck I didn't, his love was toxic! But I did meet a good, kind and loving man, and we have DD5. And I was 35 when I met him. Don't get in touch with him again, and when he gets in touch with you, tell him to scram.

Sorry, just rtft! Well done OP! You won't regret it!

Sorry, Just rtft! Well done OP! You can do better than that arsehole!!

Well done OP. You will hurt. You will struggle to eat and sleep and will physically feel the pain. That’s natural but take it from others on MN that have been there slowly but surely each day will get a little better. Spend time with family and friends and try and make plans to look forward to. The freedom programme is a great idea. You may find counselling to build up your self esteem again will help too. Be proud that you stood up to the nasty, cruel little shit that he is and stopped allowing him to treat you like this. That is a massive step in itself. Good luck

Well done 💐

Thank you - onwards and upwards!! 😁 going to commence 'operation sparkle'.... gonna get my self esteem and self worth back and do the freedom project thing... counselling I applied for weeks ago, got told the waiting list is up until November now but thats ok!
Xx

Well done OP. This is the first few steps on the journey to your happily ever after.

@omg12345help did you get rid? Ive been single nearly 5 weeks now - I feel brilliant tbh. Have the odd low moments but so nice to not be abused anymore! Xx

Glad to hear you are doing well

'He tells me he's the best man I'll ever get.'

He would- that's what abusers say.

'What if he's right?'

Hell no, he's not! xx

Well done for leaving. Things will get better. xxxxx

Thank you for all your support! 💜 The only way is up xxxx