How many have been in love?

[Humanswarm]

I realise that this has probably been done but..how many of you are in love, live like the movies, the books, the all encomspassing, take your breath away love. And when does that change to something different? Or does it at all? Pr how many live their partners but are not totally madly deeply in love??

We've been together 5 years and have one little boy and one on the way.
Still is the all encompassing, take your breath away for me, albeit not in a 'oh we've just met way'
The type of love should definitely change, but I just don't believe it should be anything less than madly deeply because what's the point?

I remember when I met my husband and it was full butterflies, songs on the radio all consuming love. It's mellowed over the last ten years but there's still moments where I get those feelings of butterflies. He's also got even more attractive over the years and I look at him sometimes and think "Christ! I got lucky"

Had to laugh though. I found my teenage diary which had a list of physical and emotional qualities of my "perfect boyfriend" aged 14 and he ticks every box. Including owning a BMX and a motorbike (granted the BMX sits in the garage and hasn't been ridden in about 9 years!)

Was when in late teens.

It wasn’t good.

Ended badly.

I have no qualms now about saying my dcs are my priority over my dp.

I was with an ex, it was only a short relationship but I’ve never loved anyone like him. It ended for silly reasons really and I ended up marrying someone else who I love but it’s not the ‘madly in love’ feeling. Still think about the ex several years later and to be honest really wish I had held out to marry someone I was head over heels for. It makes me sad, even though I do love dh. I’m jealous of those that have the big love.

Comes and goes.
21 years together. I always love him. Sometimes just in a steady it’s there way, like a constant friend with me , sometimes in a way that takes my breath away with the power of it.

And of course then sometimes I want to throttle him because it’s not easy to live with another human is it 😂

Been together 4 years and it was, and is, absolutely like the movies. The minute we saw each other we both knew we'd met our soulmate.

Married 31 years next week and definitely deeply, crazily in love. My DH is the nicest person I have ever come across and I am constantly amazed that he is with me. We have great chemistry, shared values and fun.
We certainly have plenty of arguments, sometimes he is unreasonable and occasionally moody but it wouldn’t be like the movies without lows as well as highs.

Once. I absolutely adore my husband and I know he adores me. We met in school and I fancied the pants off him at 15. Since then we’ve more or less been attached at the hip. We’re in our very late 30’s now and I think the world of him and thank my lucky stars I have him. He tells me I’m beautiful daily and texts me little messages of love throughout the day.
He never goes out without me and would literally do anything for me. I feel very, very loved.
We rarely argue...maybe once a year if that and only ever over daft things, such as missing a turnoff on a motorway because he’s messing with the radio.
I know our relationship would probably be incredibly suffocating to most people, but it works for us and I feel very content.

Maybe being in full blown movie style head over heels love is a thing of youth? For me it was my University boyfriend, but that was over 20 years ago! I can't imagine having that strength of feeling in middle age.

What you're describing isn't love. It's infatuation.

I think this gets rarer/less intense as you get older. My first couple of boyfriends back in my teens, jesus the drama. I met my husband in my late 20s. I loved him immensely (and I don't think anyone has ever loved me so much.) But he died.

A few years later I met my last ex LTR. I was practically committed, but guarded my heart. I agreed to moving in together, meeting his kids, him meeting mine, spending time with his family (2hrs travel away), agreeing in principle to a wedding, learning his parents' language so that after the wedding we could go visit his extended family.

Then he phoned me one day when he was away on business and said he wasn't feeling it and wanted to end our relationship. (Obvious spoiler, he had another woman lined up.)

Of course I was angry. But I wasn't sad. That really strikes me now. I didn't regret our relationship ending. I was angry because it came out of the blue (and after I'd loaned him a substantial sum of money without any supporting paperwork)

I was absolutely head over heels in my early 20's. He was perfect, could do no wrong. I adored him completely.
Such a shame he didn't feel the same way about me and he kept shagging someone else.
I don't think I have ever fully got over him. 20 years later I've been through a loveless marriage because I settled for someone who seemed decent but I was never properly 'in love' with. Now we've separated, I have dreams of finding proper love again but I suspect I'm too emotionally damaged now to ever feel about someone the way I did about my ex from my early 20's.

Oh several times.
Always ended in tears when I was younger. Just because I didn't want to settle down.
I'm quite mature now and won't settle for less. I'll recognise it when I see it.
The road to maturity and relationships is long. Never feel alone but don't short change yourself either

I didn't go for someone I thought I loved as it made me act silly. I went for someone that I was attracted to and meet my minimum requirements. We now have random moments that seem like they have been taken out of the movies. My love for him has definitely grown and it has the ability to fluctuate from higher and lower places than I thought. Which means he can make me feel more worse than imaginable as well as better.

30 years together....I still feel myself smile when I think about him during the day. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. We love each other very much, I can’t believe how lucky I am!!

Felt like this. Thought it was mutual. Found out recently it wasn't. Over a decade of, apparently, one-sided feelings. I am currently trying to get my head round what feels like being the victim of the world's longest con job.
Any feelings of love are deeply buried beneath grief, pain and anger currently.

I don’t think those feelings are love really. They’re all consuming infatuation. Had that a few times in my younger years. Love is a feeling that grows over time when you get to know somebody inside out.

I was. Completely, and utterly, with my dh. I knew the moment before he appeared at the door that he'd be there. I knew a second before the phone would ring, and that it'd be him. We couldn't be apart without actually feeling awful. Loved the same things, never argued...etc. long story short, his mother got involved. I wasn't good enough. 4 years of daily hour long phone calls trying to make him leave me, me getting resentful hat he wouldn't stand up to her, a lot of poisonous feelings, he cheated and it destroyed all love I felt for him. 10 years later, I love him to a degree. But I miss that true, deep, trusting love. I'll never have that with anyone again.

@DustMyselfOff Jesus, that's awful :(

24 years together, I still get excited when I know he is on the way home.
He makes me feel like the centre of his universe, and has spent decades proving it's true.
I am eager about getting to spend time with him, not just sex, but even getting to hang out and chat.
He knows me inside and out, knows my flaws, and still thinks I'm the the bees knees.

Some beautiful stories and some utterly heartbreaking ones..so, is it better we love, madly and passionately, even if it hurts, to have felt that is enough? Or settle for comfortable. For being loved. Is that enough? If you have it once, can you again? Or is there just one person for us, where it's all consuming? And it's pot luck if you find him/her....or, is it something we have when we're younger. That shows us the extent of our capabilities to feel. I don't know.

I was. Madly. I thought I’d met my soulmate. I hadn’t. He was a narcissist.

Love is a series of chemical reactions that fade with time

I had the movie style deep love with my ex. We got together in our teens and split for good when we were 25. It was magical! I'm so glad I had that experience. I still remember so much of the early days of the relationship and falling absolutely head over heels.
I love my DH but it wasn't the movie style love like I had with my first love. More of a slow burner. We do suit each other but have had a lot of problems.

@dustmyselfoff
It's a painful life learning process.
I'm too afraid now to even look in case my heart gets broken again. I couldn't sustain it.
I've been hurt so badly 2/3 times it's more secure, albeit lonely, to stay single.
That's just me though. Some people can just go to the next.
I don't want to sound negative.

Once, he's in the process of leaving me, his choice, i would take him back tomorrow

I'm lucky that I've been in love twice.