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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sent him long needy texts ...anything I can do?

68 replies

anyff · 12/09/2019 15:40

He was basically messing with my head.
Saying one thing and doing the other.
Anyway I sent him long texts and when he didn't reply sent more.
I'm not normally like that
I text again apologising but I feel like it wasn't enough.
How do I make him see I'm not crazy?
Do I text explaining why ?

OP posts:
TequilaMockingbird0 · 12/09/2019 15:42

Definitely no more texts. Sounds like he's playing games. Cut your losses and move on.

TequilaMockingbird0 · 12/09/2019 15:43

Also as harsh as it sounds, doesn't seem like he's interested. Therefore you can do better.

JeSuisPrest · 12/09/2019 15:43

Context? Who is he? Someone you've had a few dates with or your husband of 10 years?

I fear if the former, sending more messages will make you seem a little unhinged. Probably best chalk it up to experience and move on from him.

NorthEndGal · 12/09/2019 15:45

When in doubt, turn off your phone

Ilikethisone · 12/09/2019 15:48

If he was messing with your head, why do you want to convince him you are not crazy?

AFistfulofDolores1 · 12/09/2019 15:50

You're both in an addictive relationship, which is why you feel compelled to reply - it's like having a fix.

Can you resist? That's what will break the hold he has over you, and that the relationship has over both of you.

MeOnScreen · 12/09/2019 15:51

I agree with @JeSuisPrest there needs to be more context. Massive difference between someone you've had a couple of dates with or known for a couple of months compared to someone you've been married to for 8 years

PuffHuffle5 · 12/09/2019 15:54

Just let it go OP. He’s not the one for you. Sounds like he wasn’t really interested in the first place and I don’t think there’s any come back from sending multiple long needy texts. You’re not crazy I’m sure - but you have behaved in a bit of a crazy way. Learn from it, don’t repeat with the next guy.

Original poster
anyff · 12/09/2019 15:56

I've known him a while but only dated a short amount of time.
I just want to say to him (over the phone would be better ) that I shouldn't have sent the long texts,it was ridiculous and I don't know what I was hoping to achieve.
I hope you don't think that's actually who I am and once again sorry for the long Ranty texts.

OP posts:
Sagradafamiliar · 12/09/2019 15:57

Oh god he's got you right where he wants you hasn't he.

OurChristmasMiracle · 12/09/2019 15:59

It’s early days dating wise and if you are already feeling like this and sending ranty messages you need to leave him. It’s honestly not worth it.

SomeonesRealName · 12/09/2019 15:59

Good lord dump him it sounds terrible you'll feel so much better after you get him out of your head. Horrible men play games and mess with your head. Dump and replace with nice man.

Fizzysours · 12/09/2019 15:59

Ahhh but the thing is...this IS who you were for a short time and it is likely his fault....in my own experience the ONLY men who have ever made me act needy were head f**ks. Maybe the universe is trying to say 'escape this one, he's destroying your confidence'....

Original poster
anyff · 12/09/2019 16:01

Honestly I'm not normally crazy - he told a lie why he had to cancel a date (and that immediately made me paranoid) then after that he turned it around as if I was in the wrong,so I tried to explain how the way he was acting was the reason and he said your acting "cray cray "

OP posts:
Sn0tnose · 12/09/2019 16:03

Turn your phone off and do not try to contact him again. That is your only sensible option.

If you try and contact him again, nothing positive will come from it. Spend the time thinking about why things are this hard, this early.

Rachelover60 · 12/09/2019 16:04

Don't text him any more, it won't make any difference. You have to accept the status quo.

I was in the same position many years ago so I sympathise. It's difficult to draw a line under a relationship when you are hurt but eventually you have to - he has.

Bless you, things will improve.
Flowers Wine

MyHairNeedsASnip · 12/09/2019 16:05

It sounds like you need to give this one a swerve. He doesn't sound great, lying and gaslighting Sad

Fizzysours · 12/09/2019 16:05

Oh god. Dump the twonk. 'Cray cray'???? #vom

MeOnScreen · 12/09/2019 16:06

You have text apologising so he knows you are sorry.
I would definitely take the advice of others and turn off your phone or make a promise that you will not text him now until he texts you and when he does just really think about what you are going to say.
I sympathise with you because I've been in a similar situation before and though why the hell did I say that!?
Go out with your friends this weekend or even have a nice relaxing weekend and try to take you mind off it Thanks

Sn0tnose · 12/09/2019 16:07

he said your acting "cray cray” Oh good Lord, dump him for this alone. Are kids even saying this anymore?

He’s lied to you and when you’ve caught him out, he’s tried to make you think you’re insane? Run. Run for the hills and don’t look back.

Bapman · 12/09/2019 16:07

Please leave him. He isn’t worth it, especially for saying ‘cray cray’

Original poster
anyff · 12/09/2019 16:08

He has contacted me since a lot but it seems like he isn't as interested (maybe I spoilt myself )
It's been 2 weeks since the crazy long messages but I struggle to send short texts when I'm trying to explain myself

OP posts:
Sansastark45 · 12/09/2019 16:10

As hard as it is please dont message him again - hes messing with your head - i had the same scenario where over explained and then i sounded too over the top for which i apologised which made me seem needy! He messed with my head for a long time and i accepted any scrap of attention he gave me! He then turned it round on me and said id got the wrong end of the stick! Safe to say that that was the end and i then went on to meet my now husband but dont let him do this to you!

PuffHuffle5 · 12/09/2019 16:10

I just want to say to him (over the phone would be better ) that I shouldn't have sent the long texts,it was ridiculous and I don't know what I was hoping to achieve.

Sounds like you just feel a bit embarrassed and want to have some closure on this - but really, you don’t need it. We all say and do silly things, especially in situations like this. You know you’re not crazy (I’m sure you’re not crazy, for what it’s worth). What he thinks doesn’t matter. Just move on and let it go.

RLEOM · 12/09/2019 16:10

Has he heard you out? I send long texts when I feel unheard.

If he's lied about something stupid, he's probably a compulsive liar and can't face any kind of confrontation. Well, that's my experience anyway.

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