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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

My husband wants a lap dance...

47 replies

Debbierocket123 · 12/09/2019 15:06

He has hinted a couple of times and he seems to get particularly excited when I dance up against him so wanted to give him a treat...however this is really out of my comfort zone and feel silly/unattractive. I hate my face and have never been to a strip club so have no idea what happens. I tried to get him to explain what strippers did and he just said they "tease the out of you" I have no idea what that means. Maybe I am a bit inexperienced (I'm over 30) but am feeling really awkward about the whole thing. Any advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 12/09/2019 15:12

If you actually want to do this then you could wear a mask (a sexy one) to cringe behind

Although I suppose if you want him to last you could wear the clown mask from IT

Only ever do what you're comfortable with

PeriComoToes · 12/09/2019 15:14

You're clearly uncomfortable but he still wants you to do it.

Windydaysuponus · 12/09/2019 15:17

Wear a mask like on It.
Should cool him down...

BringTheBounceBack · 12/09/2019 15:17

Do you have any pole/lap dance/burlesque classes near you. It’ll help your confidence!

Gemma1971 · 12/09/2019 15:17

My ex had a thing for massive arses and always wanted me to dance and twerk.

I never got the twerking bit right, lol, I have a sporty curve, not an oversized backside, but the lap dancing was fun. I just put on some super high heels and a sexy bra and pants under a dress with lots of buttons down the front and unbuttoned each one slowly as I brushed up against him, behind him, revealed a bit, then hid a bit, until it all fell to the floor. Then some lap grinding and rubbing and unzipping his pants and he never last long after that. Et voila. Happy ex.

Go check out some stripper porn videos for tips!

pinkyredrose · 12/09/2019 15:18

How does he know what strippers do?

666onmyhead · 12/09/2019 15:24

Eewww !

Original poster

Debbierocket123 · 12/09/2019 15:24

He said he has never had one but his friends have.... ok I believe that lol

OP posts:

Gemma1971 · 12/09/2019 15:25

The art of teasing is to show/give a little, then stop... approach, then retreat. Let him touch a little, then take it away.

I would watch some videos though. Maybe do a dance class as someone suggested. Learn how to use a chair etc.

Gemma1971 · 12/09/2019 15:27

It could be fun though. It may just be his thing, he gets turned on by half-naked women dancing.

Most men have that basic thing going on... said with respect... he may just like the fantasy. He's asking you to do it, which I think is cool. Surprise him...

AutumnCrow · 12/09/2019 15:27

I use a chair for changing lightbulbs. I must remember to wear an It clown mask next time to make it alluring for any nearby man.

melissasummerfield · 12/09/2019 15:27

Why would you do it if you feel silly and awkward?

Ask him to do a sexy dance for you first, so he can feel stupid and self conscious and see how he likes it

SherbetSaucer · 12/09/2019 15:29

Look on YouTube, there is bound to be a tutorial. Few glasses of wine and you’re golden! But... if it genuinely makes you uncomfortable don’t do it.

Gemma1971 · 12/09/2019 15:30

I guess if it makes you really uncomfortable, say so...

I asked my ex to dance for me and he did... he used to do striptease... it was super sexy.... but sometimes just funny and we rolled about laughing instead of getting all hot and passionate!

Gemma1971 · 12/09/2019 15:31

LOL at the chair and lightbulb reply!!

I was thinking Flashdance.... that scene...

MashedSpud · 12/09/2019 15:32

Wear something you feel sexy in but also confident and comfortable in. You don’t have to strip completely if you don’t want to. You can let him touch you or tell him hands off when you start.

You’re in control. If you feel uncomfortable at any point just stop.

BeanBag7 · 12/09/2019 15:36

I would just say no as you're clearly not into it.

Gemma1971 · 12/09/2019 15:36

Sit him down, tie his hands behind a chair.. then he can't touch you.

Dance and show a little flesh, then go put the telly on LOL....

shearwater · 12/09/2019 15:36

Say you will if he does one for you first.

Tooner · 12/09/2019 15:46

I would ask him to show you how its done first as you haven't ever seen anyone perform a lapdance....also request he wears a thong just to sex it up a bit😄

Spinnaret · 12/09/2019 15:53

How many threads do you plan to start about your husband's requests? And is he your husband? On other threads you talk about planning to get married.

WhatTheWatersShowedMe · 12/09/2019 15:56

Don't do anything sexual in a relationship that you don't want to. If you feel uncomfortable but do it anyway, it opens a door to more boundary pushing.

kaitlinktm · 12/09/2019 16:15

Sit him down, tie his hands behind a chair.. then he can't touch you.

Dance and show a little flesh, then go put the telly on LOL

Gemma1971 · 12/09/2019 16:20

mmm, you've posted a fair bit about this man. You don't sound very happy with him at all:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a3684606-Why-am-I-feeling-confused#89854531

So is he your husband or not?

chickenyhead · 12/09/2019 16:22

Tarantino style...

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