My husband wants a lap dance...

[Debbierocket123]

He has hinted a couple of times and he seems to get particularly excited when I dance up against him so wanted to give him a treat...however this is really out of my comfort zone and feel silly/unattractive. I hate my face and have never been to a strip club so have no idea what happens. I tried to get him to explain what strippers did and he just said they "tease the out of you" I have no idea what that means. Maybe I am a bit inexperienced (I'm over 30) but am feeling really awkward about the whole thing. Any advice would be appreciated.

You can hire a lap dancer to come to your home, you will get some dancing tips then,and wont have to do anything.. You can then sit and watch Antiques road show,or Countryfile with a cup of tea,and relax.while watching your husband do his thing.

Give him £20 and send him down the titty bar!

I thought you were having problems with him before, maybe I am wrong but this sounds familiar, don't do anything you're not comfortable with.

I don't think I could focus on John Craven properly under such burlesque circumstances, @1forAll74

He has a lovely soothing voice and all on Countryfile, but there are limits even to his mellifluence.

This the same man who recently moved in and you're not too sure... and he doesn't do much food shopping... or any housework.

I can come up with a lap dance where you appear in an old fashioned button down overall, mop in one hand. Bucket in the other. Dance around the bucket, gyrate around the mop. Unbutton some buttons. Slowly pull of the Marigolds, then throw them at him and tell him you'll finish the dance after the bathroom is clean and dinner is ready!!

Just seen your other thread. He's got ED and thinks it's because of you.

If he REALLY has ED a lap dance isn't going to fix it. What happens when nothing happens downstairs? Will you be doing it wrong?

More

Does he know the going rate for a lap dance?

If you’re not comfortable then don’t do it, when I had my fwb he used to, but it was something he liked doing and had the confidence to do it, it wasn’t something I expected.

where you appear in an old fashioned button down overall, mop in one hand. Bucket in the other. Dance around the bucket, gyrate around the mop Have you been peeking through my window Gemma1971? Sexy Hilda Ogden is my go to move 🧹

Ha ha ChuckleBuckles!

I can do a great Mrs Doyle!

I love sexy dancing, both doing it and being on the receiving end, as it were.

But I would only do it if I was comfortable. And when my ex was being snarky and insulting, it was an effort to even look at him, never mind anything else.

If you're not happy with someone outside the bedroom, then sex usually takes a nosedive. I could kind of compartmentalise to a certain extent, but not with the insults about my body.....

NEXT man... he'll appreciate my dirty mop and tea trolley dance LOL.

Seriously though OP.... it sounds like he does have ED and who knows why..... but it's not your fault. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaars back I met someone who had ED.. he banged on about me teasing him... only to find out he had a thing for what appeared to be underage porn...... YUK.....

ED can sometimes be an indicator of control. They do not let go because that would give you an ounce of power.

Is he controlling OP?

Dont want to be dim but what does ED stand for

@HappyHammy

Erectile Dysfunction I think!

Various online advice

Go check out some stripper porn videos for tips!

Dear god. Please don't do this.

Lots of how tos on youtube.

Glass of wine, sexy music. go for it. Just have fun.

Used to do it for a living many years ago.

Nearly 60 and I still do it for DH. I've done some silly ones for him too. dressed up in a bunny suit, frazzled housewife.

Just have fun with it.

My DH loves it when I do this for him. I think it’s the leather jacket, and the twerking
birdy song dance youtube

Thanks Sherby. Not what I thought at all!!

Has anyone else tried it to Elgar's Pomp & Circumstance when Last Night Of The Proms is on the television? All that bobbing up and down and swaying.

So he's lazy, annoying and can't get it up. You've been together a year and recently moved in together, as you're just getting serious, but he's your husband