Exh earned decently. Was shit with money. I always wanted to work so it never mattered much. Until it did. I was bringing home £1800 per month after tax and was covering all the Bill's (£1400). I had £400 a month left for petrol, clothes, any treats on my days off with dd. I was doing a fairly stressful job, but he never seemed to have any money. He bought the food for the house. He always had a reason why he couldnt pay Bill's, which is why they were in my name. Cat insurance or an unexpected bill or petrol etc.
I found our years later when he let it slip that at that time he was earning £40k as he was doing overtime. He had told me it was unpaid but he had to it. When I asked why the bills were being paid by me he couldnr answer. He was abusive in other ways and not long after that revelation I left.
I suspect he was either gambling or possibly even drugs (he was very paranoid). He had abused me into a position where I wouldn't even dare ask him where it went.
4 yeata later i earn twice as much as dp. Do pays half the Bill's and food shop. Doesnt pay half the mortgage (to protect my interest and as I earn more that's the bit that makes the difference and 'fair's according to our incomes). He saves what would be rent so that, in a few years when we move, he can match what I will be putting in.
The fact that he earns less doesnt really mean anything. We have similar spending and saving habits. Similar ideas for holidays etc.
The only thing we disagree on is that he thinks my car is too 'flash' and is wasteful. But it's a company car, so we dont disagree as such as it's not my choice of car. But he wouldnt ever think of buying a new expensive car. I love my cars and so would, spend money on a car, if I didn't have a company car.
For me its about attitudes to money. I couldn't be with dp if he expected me to pay his bills and finance him. Or wasnt a saver or expected flash holidays our of my wage. I would rather be with a low earning person who is good with money and has similar ideals.