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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Dp and wart??!!!

52 replies

Imadivvycow · 09/09/2019 12:10

He deffo has a genital wart it's so obvious, yet neither of us have bought it up , I just find the whole hpv/,herpes virus confusing as it's one that lays dormant for so long. I figured it's just one of those things , I'm now panicking as I've been sleeping with him I'm going to catch them aren't I 😭 I thought I'd be safe as he doesn't seem concerned , I need to bring it up with him don't I, I'm so stupid but figured he would be dealing with his health side of things , I'm panicking now and don't know how to broach it with him , don't just want to blurt it out and upset him ...

OP posts:

LuckyAmy1986 · 10/09/2019 08:05

Wow you really need to have this discussion. Your sexual health comes before embarrassing him!!! And I’ll bet he knows and has been sleeping with you anyway, which would put me right off him.

FairyDust92 · 10/09/2019 08:23

If he has a wart and he knows about and hasn't told you is disrespectful and absolutely disgusting. You need to go to your nearest GUM clinic

LittleLongDog · 10/09/2019 08:28

I can’t quite understand why neither of you have talked about this.

Go get checked out ASAP.

Napqueen1234 · 10/09/2019 08:32

Warts and herpes are completely different so don’t worry about herpes. As PP have said regarding HPV it’s unlikely to be an oncogenic strain so v unlikely to increase cancer risks and things. The HPV virus is contagious but the vast majority of people who have the virus in the skin don’t see physical warts appear so we advice people not to worry about them until they are seen. Warts in themselves are in no way harmful (think verrucas/warts on hands) just unsightly and more likely to spread. If he would like treatment to remove them creams and solutions are available or he can get them frozen. If they go away the virus is still in the skin so can still be passed to you. Advise I give re: warts is they are super common, nothing to worry about and easily treated if the person wishes.

What is more concerning is your difficulty in speaking to him about it! Just have an open and honest conversation it may be that it’s been looked at or treatment hasn’t been effective or it’s come back etc. At the end of the day it’s his own choice whether he wants treatment or not and you can use condoms to reduce the risk of transmission.

Depending on your age if you’ve had the HPV vaccine you’re likely to be protected against the most common strains of HPV so are unlikely to get it (NB they will not know nor test what strain he has!)

(Sexual health nurse)

Original poster

Imadivvycow · 10/09/2019 08:36

Im.in tears

OP posts:

AmIThough · 10/09/2019 08:36

If you're not mature enough to discuss it with him stop having unprotected sex.

Brot64 · 10/09/2019 09:04

Sorry, but how old are you? You are comfortable enough to sleep with someone but uncomfortable to enquire about a potential lifelong (albeit silent at times) STI that has/could directly affect you? Just tell him you suspect you might have caught an STI (and yes genital warts are STI's) from him and would like for both of you to get checked.

binkyclink · 10/09/2019 09:04

OP genital herpes & genital warts are two completely different things.

Herpes are sores, like cold sore type sores which are highly contagious when active sores are present.

Warts are warts- still contagious but not quite as serious as herpes ( as far as I'm aware) warts can be frozen off ( I know this as my sister had them on her bits ) if it was my partner who had a wart on his bits I would march him to the doctors ASAP otherwise it looks like you will both be going together to get them frozen off as they are contagious 😷 He is being ignorant! Men know their bits & he will know that it's there but he's embarrassed/ delaying/avoiding dealing with it?! Make him go get it removed ASAP!

Original poster

Imadivvycow · 10/09/2019 09:05

I really did genuinely think it was just a mole as we both got tested at clinics and all was clear 🙄 just spoke to him about it and he said he was given cream and told it would drop off eventually and never followed it up !!!

OP posts:

Original poster

Imadivvycow · 10/09/2019 09:07

He is off to clinic now to remove it I've gone mental and said well lucky u I'm.stuck with mine as AF is here and I've got work !

OP posts:

Yoyoyo912 · 10/09/2019 09:17

I caught warts when I was 18 after only sleeping with 3 people 🤦🏼‍♀️

Iv never had clusters come up, just single ones (about 5) and they only ever come up at the time when I first had a break out. Had them frozen off and i has to go back a few times to make sure they were all gone.

I haven’t ever had a breakout since and that was 10 years ago now!

All my smears have always been normal too.

Iv been to the sexual health clinic since to get sti tests when I started sleeping with someone new a year ago and I asked did I need to mention that I had warts previously and she said no as I have no active ones and I haven’t had any in 10 years.

I never told the person I’m sleeping with and he hasn’t had any come up in the year we have bee sleeping with.

He really should of got them frozen off though but I was also given cream which didn’t really do much!

I’d be pissed off to at his utter stupidity. He should of asked the sexua health clinic about it when you both got checked out.

Original poster

Imadivvycow · 10/09/2019 09:37

Exactly that he knows I'm very upset and said he was given misinformation but somehow I don't believe him !

OP posts:

Yoyoyo912 · 10/09/2019 09:40

How long ago did he go to the doctors and got the cream?

Original poster

Imadivvycow · 10/09/2019 09:51

He went about I'd say 4 months ago

OP posts:

Yoyoyo912 · 10/09/2019 10:14

And he didn’t mention it? That’s ridiculous

Original poster

Imadivvycow · 10/09/2019 10:31

Nope hence why I didn't I just thought if it was a problem.he would have told me !!! So I being nieve thought it just have just been a blemish or birth Mark etc as surely he would have said , I showed him what I think looks like the start of some on me and he said no it just looks like tiny bumps but I'm really not impressed at all !

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Runkle · 10/09/2019 10:39

Good lord. I do hope you're ending this 'relstionship'? You should have had an adult conversation about this months ago. Seriously, carefully consider your future relationships.

Original poster

Imadivvycow · 10/09/2019 10:41

I don't know about ending it as I feel I've been just as stupid as he has ? He says he really didn't hear the dr say no Intercourse until it's off and that it's very common ? I told him you have given me a virus for life and for that I'm really upset and I need time to think about this , he is picking me up from work later but I'm seriously thinking of at least having a break to let things settle

OP posts:

Boopeedoop · 10/09/2019 10:54

I can't believe you can have unprotected sex with someone, but be uncomfortable about talking about a sti!

I do hope you get checked asap and tell future partners also!

Original poster

Imadivvycow · 10/09/2019 10:57

I was upfront with him I even showed him my results and he showed me his !

OP posts:

Yoyoyo912 · 10/09/2019 11:01

So he got his results saying he was all clear but also got given cream for warts on the same appointment (when you got tested together) and he didn’t think to tell you he had an active sti?

Original poster

Imadivvycow · 10/09/2019 11:03

But yes it was very very stupid of me and I'm really upset about it

OP posts:

Original poster

Imadivvycow · 10/09/2019 11:04

We didn't go together , he went to his clinic I went to mine , but we weren't sort of serious at that point but we both got all clear txts from our clinics

OP posts:

Yoyoyo912 · 10/09/2019 11:08

I’m not saying it’s your fault at all.

It’s his. I honestly can’t see how he was given cream for warts 4 months ago and he didn’t think to ask any questions or google if its ok to sleep with someone while having a break out.

And I honestly can’t see why he did not tell you?!? He lied on purpose.

Original poster

Imadivvycow · 10/09/2019 12:06

It's just a shock tbh but I feel incredibly stupid

OP posts:

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