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Original poster

Should I confront him re Swiping on my friend's profile?

47 replies

Nicola5714 · 07/09/2019 21:08

Hi. Been seeing this guy (through Tinder) for 6 weeks. Around week 3 my friend sent me a screenshot that he swiped on her on Tinder. A few days later I had the exclusivity talk with him and we both agreed not to use dating apps anymore.

Yesterday his Tinder location changed so assumed he opened the app (not sure whether he swiped on any women though)

I know because I still have Tinder on my phone, but my profile is hidden so men cannot swipe on me . It's what Tinder calls 'paused'.

Tomorrow I will be confronting him re the change in distance (and after having noticed he added this super hot woman on facebook possibly through Tinder but not mentioning this)

What I'm unsure of is whether I should mention the 'friend swipe' incident given that we hadn't yet had the exclusivity talk then even if we were texting daily, he introduced me to his friends, told his family about me and him calling me darling etc.... Might be awkward if he ever meets this friend or he might be put off meeting my friends.

What are your views?

OP posts:
category12 · 07/09/2019 21:14

Oh why bother? Just dump him. How can you be arsed?

Brahms3rdracket · 07/09/2019 21:15

If I were him I'd be scared off. You're far too full on with someone you've only known for 6 weeks.

If you don't like his behaviour move on.

Raphael34 · 07/09/2019 21:18

Agreed. 6 ridiculous weeks and all these questions and uncertainty already. He’s obviously still meeting people on tinder. Gather your self respect and move on to the next one

MMmomDD · 07/09/2019 21:59

If you are monitoring his tinder location after 6 weeks - he needs to run.
And next time don’t rush things.

Original poster
Nicola5714 · 07/09/2019 22:03

Even though we agreed that we're not dating other people?

OP posts:
Original poster
Nicola5714 · 07/09/2019 22:05

Even though we agreed to be exclusive and him telling me I'm the one for him, he sees a future, loves me etc

OP posts:
category12 · 07/09/2019 22:06

After 6 weeks, he tells you he loves you and sees a future?!

Good grief.

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 07/09/2019 22:08

He sees a future and loves you? After 6 weeks?

Way, way too fast

WhatWhyWhen · 07/09/2019 22:09

Guy I’m talking to at the moment swiped my mate on Bumble, we’ve been talking daily maybe a month, dated only once so far due to time.

I thought it was funny. If we do work our and he ever meets her he’ll cringe Grin

It’s 6 weeks, I wouldn’t mention the friend thing and to be honest dating a while has told me a lot of people are still mutlidating at that point.

BUT he’s lied, and that’s the problem. If he said it was exclusive and he’s Tindering then that’s not truthful and for that I’d be done.

But next time take it slow.

Witchofzog · 07/09/2019 22:10

Why are people being so nasty on here? It doesn't matter how long it has been. They had the exclusivity chat so he should not be swiping on other people.

Forget about him up. It sounds like he is a game player and you deserve better

Gruntvsgunt · 07/09/2019 22:13

*Even though we agreed that we're not dating other people?

But he hasn’t dated anyone else has he? Confront the poor guy so he can run for the hills

Original poster
Nicola5714 · 07/09/2019 22:14

Witchofzog he did say that he sometimes log into Tinder to read our 1st conversation. So for Tinder to change location I don't think he necessarily has to swipe

OP posts:
Original poster
Nicola5714 · 07/09/2019 22:15

Gruntvsgunt as far as I know he hasn't but if he is still swiping on Tinder wouldn't that be unacceptable after the 'exclusivity talk'?

OP posts:
ISmellBabies · 07/09/2019 22:16

I'd just ditch him tbh, he's no good.

MMmomDD · 07/09/2019 22:18

OP - what’s unacceptable is to love bomb someone and tell them they see a future after only a few weeks...
Rest is just silly

Gruntvsgunt · 07/09/2019 22:18

@Nicola5714 if this is real... then only you can decide if it’s acceptable to you or not. I think you sound batshit and he should run a mile and you should find someone you trust (and stop cyber stalking them)

category12 · 07/09/2019 22:19

It does matter how long it's been - it's too fast to say that kind of thing and it's clearly not genuine. OP's wasting her energy.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 07/09/2019 22:21

I wouldn't mention the friend swipe, you weren't exclusive then.

And I wouldn't mention the location change because presumably your location has also updated; as you've been on the app?

And I wouldn't mention adding a hot woman because I'd leave anyone who questioned who I was adding on Facebook after six weeks...

Even though we agreed to be exclusive and him telling me I'm the one for him, he sees a future, loves me etc

But that shows that he's no good. He doesn't know you. He's a player, and he's taking you for a ride... he knows just what to say. He loves you? What future could he see after six weeks?!?

Original poster
Nicola5714 · 07/09/2019 22:22

WhatWhyWhen I read different answers re tinder location update including that you don't need to open app for tinder to update or that you have to swipe not just open app.

He did say Tinder was a waste of time but whether to believe him is the question. Ie if he is still using it. Yes I agree that I shouldn't mention the friend thing but the location update? He could have just opened it to look at our 1st conversation as he said he did this before

OP posts:
Onemansoapopera · 07/09/2019 22:22

OP you're acting crackers, particularly because YOU still have Tinder on your phone too!!

Original poster
Nicola5714 · 07/09/2019 22:24

AnchorDownDeepBreath I only open app at home and have my profile hidden so no men can swipe and i don't look at men either. Can only see this guy coz i matched with him

OP posts:
Grimbles · 07/09/2019 22:25

Maybe hes doing exactly what you are doing considering you're still using tinder too?

lilypips · 07/09/2019 22:34

Bloody hell. What a load of dramatic over the top nonsense for someone you have been seeing for 6 weeks!

Just end it and stay single.

Original poster
Nicola5714 · 07/09/2019 22:41

Lilylips I agree .. too much drama. Maybe I'll wait another month or so before I say anything just to see how things evolve. In no way am I controlling or freaky. I just don't want to get too attached and then find out he's a player

OP posts:
colourbynumbers · 07/09/2019 22:48

If he's dropping love bombs and you're behaving this full on after 6 weeks, it's never going to work out anyway!

You both sound crazy.