New bf going away

[Sammiejo12]

Hi

Bit of history first...

Was with emotional abusive ex for 6 years, only went away twice to family weddings in that time. He went away with his mates and partners several times in those years always coming up with an excuse for me not being able to go... "money, time, commitments etc"

Anyway that ended but with everything else that happened over those years it has left me with a insecure feeling about being left out. I'm
Much better and I do feel like I have a control over it now but it still hurts.

I've now met a guy who's lovely been together 7months... however we don't do much together, no days out, we've been for dinner only a couple of times, he works hard and then gyms most evenings... all fine I have a busy life outside him, but when I suggested going away he makes the same excuses for me "no money" that my ex did and I said I have enough in the bank to go away if he wanted to.... so after the day from hell (panic attack & lost dog - who is still missing) he breaks the news he's going away with his mates next week for the 3rd time in as many Months... I need to stress that's not the issue, the issue is that we don't do anything, he won't plan anything, I am starting to feel like I did with my ex that I was always an after thought and he did what ever he wanted to do regardless.

He's not an arsehole but some comments about doing what he wants to do when he wants to do it, made him sound like one, and it could have been my ex talking.

I would just like to do stuff with him. I feel like he's embarrassed of me. Which I hope isn't the case, I don't feel it is but it's that insecurity speaking.....

What do I do???

More importantly, I hope your dog turns up ok!

He’s not lovely, you’re just so used to the shit with your ex, that anyone would seem lovely.

Bin this twat off and get some counselling!

Your deserve so much mire that this and you need to get to a point where you get that 🌷

What an arse. Tell him to shut the door on his way out.

Good luck finding your missing woof

however we don't do much together, no days out, we've been for dinner only a couple of times
And a bad sex life!
What is the point of him???

Please raise your bar OP.
You put up with crap before and you are doing it again.
You are missing sooooo many red flags and carrying on regardless.
Put YOURSELF first!
Contact Womens Aid and do their Freedom Programme.
Your boundaries need to be set.
Your self-esteem needs a boost.
You need to spot red flags far sooner.
Freedom Programme will help with all that.

For now though, you don't his negativity.
Block him on everything.
Do some work on yourself before dating again.

So what are you getting out of this, OP?

He certainly SOUNDS like an arsehole..

You don't need to justify your feelings by using your mental health.

I've no idea why the two of you don't go out, and just sit in when you see each other, do you know? There are lots of things that can be done cheaply.

Do you go to his? Did you even go out much at the beginning? How did this get to this stage? It's only seven months in.

ltb

I hope you find your dog
Get rid of your wanker boyfriend. Just message him and say it's not working for you. Then block him. You'll find your anxiety lifts a great deal once he's out of your life. I second looking at the freedom
Programme. All the best OP.

Dog is found after 24 hours phew, I've walked 50k in the last two days and I'm exhausted. I've had a hot shower and going to have a nap as sleep has evaded me recently.

I know I shouldn't laugh but some of the stuff your guys are coming out with is quite funny!

Thank you for your support I shall keep you updated x

So glad you've found the dog! Get some rest and dump the wasters arse. You can do so much better. Your bar is near the floor here. Raise it

I'm so glad you've found the dog! Yaaay!
Now your most loyal companion is back you can dump the waste of space companion!

Glad you have your dog back .

Thank goodness the dog is back.
So glad you found him.
Now rest up and try to clear your brain for a little while.

Glad doggo is home, off-load the asshole boyfriend!

I honestly don't see this is as a relationship. If it wasn't for the lack of sex, I'd assume he has a wife or girlfriend somewhere else. But seems a bit pointless to go to hassle of an affair without much sex.

You can definitely do better. Sorry your'e in this situation.

You definitely deserve better! There is someone out there for you who would love to holiday with you!
So glad you found your dog xxx

Sammiejo12, you sound really lovely, you deserve to be with a much nicer, respectfull, loving person who wines and dines you, goes out with your for romantic walks, someone whom thinks that he is sooooo lucky to be with you.

Glad to here that you have your dog back

Dog found, yay!!!!

now you found the dog, you must lose the selfish boyfriend.