Please can I have a sense check from people removed from my situation? I've name-changed but I am a long-time poster.
It’s the age-old thorny issue of splits of assets on separation ….Ex is proposing something that I feel is unfair. We are in the SE and for various reasons need to stay in the same area – the numbers below are big, but they are relative to where we live.
To outline the situation:
Together for 14 years. I instigated split. Two children who we are agreed we will share residency of exactly equally.
House in the SE that we cannot afford to keep, which we both agree should be sold to enable us to buy our own places – neither can afford to buy out the other’s equity, and neither wants one of us to rent a place, deferring the sale until later.
House has considerable equity if it sells for around its current value – around £500,000 of equity before fees.
Both employed full time now, although for around 2/3 of our relationship I’ve either been on a career break/ working part-time/ on maternity leave to enable me to care for children.
He has been FT employed throughout - his salary has therefore increased at a faster rate than mine, and he has also been paying into pension whereas my payments have been reduced. He had savings predating the relationship of around £170,000. 7 years ago we bought our first house. Shortly before the purchase, I inherited £100,000 and we both put exactly £100,000 in as house deposit, rest being made up by a joint mortgage. Legally, we are joint tenants. The sol’s agreement at the time was clear that if we sold during the relationship we would split the house proceeds equally. Some of his remaining £70,000 of savings have gone on monthly overspends, general household expenditure whilst I wasn’t earning at full whack, childcare costs, etc, during the course of the relationship. A large chunk has gone on home improvements. There is some cash left (not a great deal) in savings, and some sunk into a newish car (on which there is also a loan outstanding).
My proposal is for him to take the remaining savings and the car, and split the proceeds of the house sale, with me making some sort of adjustment in light of the fact that I have effectively used up some of his savings over the course of our relationship. I also thought he had agreed to make an adjustment in light of the fact that my pension has tanked but I know legally he does not have to do this at all, and now I am less sure that he will…
He is arguing that we should split our total assets after the house has sold, in direct proportion to the amount we both brought into the relationship. I.e., he had 63% of our total savings and I had 37%, therefore he should get the same proportion from the proceeds of the house sale and from the remaining savings.
This would leave him around £130,000 better off than me. We were explicit when buying the house that we were putting in the same amount as a deposit, and that is why we went for joint tenancy rather than tenants in common.
His position is that he “could claim that all his savings went into the house” and that we have been lucky because the house has gone up in value. It does not account for the fact that the savings were spent for our mutual, joint benefit.
I haven’t spoken to a lawyer yet, as I was hoping we could sort this all out amicably but we seem to have very different ideas of what is fair in this situation.
If you got to the end of that, thank you – and I will read and respond to all views even if they don’t gel with my own.
Even when it’s amicable, it’s not straightforward is it?