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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Question of cheating

33 replies

Pavonina · 04/09/2019 14:41

My boyfriend said he didn't sleep with a girl but did have a shower with her. I said he cheated. He said he didn't. What do you think?

OP posts:
beatriceprior · 04/09/2019 14:43

Why did he have a shower with her????

lifegoes · 04/09/2019 14:44

He had sex with her!!!!!

Tish008 · 04/09/2019 14:47

It doesn't matter really, he betrayed you either way.

Windydaysuponus · 04/09/2019 14:48

Who's house? Is the water on a meter?
All relevant!!
Grin
He is a twat of course.

Ltb.

Pavonina · 04/09/2019 14:48

Thank you folks!! My thoughts exactly but I just wanted to hear it confirmed from other folk as I was questioning my own judgement for a while. After 16 years, children....what a prick!
Thank you once again.

OP posts:
Cuppa12345 · 04/09/2019 14:50

Wtaf. Yes, it's cheating. We haven't got a no deal brexit yet, they could have had a shower each.

Also I agree with lifegoes. They had sex.

Notcoolmum · 04/09/2019 14:54

I'm sure he'd be cool with you having a shower with another man...

Jabbercocky · 04/09/2019 14:54

Go and have a shower with the local rugby team. Ask him if he thinks that’s OK.

AnyFucker · 04/09/2019 14:56

Haha.

He's brilliant. I do hope you are getting shut of this joker.

Pavonina · 04/09/2019 14:57

Thank you one and all. You have made me smile today....which is a glorious thing considering the shower of .... that I'm now in embroiled in.

OP posts:
PollyTheDolly · 04/09/2019 14:58

He's a shower...of shite

PlinkPlink · 04/09/2019 15:00

He had a shower but didn't have sex with her?

I would find it difficult not to laugh at that. How fucking stupid does he think you are? 😂😂

Peakypolly · 04/09/2019 15:01

Context is important surely?
I did a very muddy team building exercise a few years back (doubt conditions would be allowed these days). We all stank of cow poo etc. and everyone went into the communal shower room at the soonest opportunity.
Now I understand this sort of situation is unlikely to be replicated by your DP but, how is he justifying his actions? Why does he think it is acceptable behaviour for someone in a committed relationship?

AnyFucker · 04/09/2019 15:14

Context ?
Bloody hell, Polly, you will break your back if bend over any further to try and justify a "context" here

tisamadworld · 04/09/2019 15:25

This is what annoys me most about infidelity, the lies and deceit. It's painfully obvious that boundaries were crossed, at least have the backbone to be honest. He's insulting your intelligence with this nonsense, pissing on your back and telling you it's raining.

Fromablokespoint · 04/09/2019 15:28

@Jabbercocky - what a ridiculous statement, we all know they have baths!!

Bill Clinton never had sex with Monica........

hellsbellsmelons · 04/09/2019 15:28

Dear lord.
He thinks you are thick as pig shit doesn't he?
That's a fucking insult to you and your intelligence!
What a disrespectful cunt he is!

Would he be OK with you having a shower with a man????
Would he believe if you said you didn't have sex?
Of course not.
Dick-head!

30to50FeralHogs · 04/09/2019 15:29

You know the answer to this. Sorry he has messed with your mind to the extent you even need to ask!

Nobody innocently has a shower with someone who is not their partner or child FFS. Naked in an enclosed space, even if all they did was shower that is completely unacceptable, as he well knows (I'm sure he only admitted to the shower because you have proof or something).

But as others have said, who on earth showers with someone without any other intimacy?!

I once showered with a man, without having sex with him, because i was at a fancy dress party and covered in silver paint. Shower was meant to be a sexy build up, but actually seeing him naked, I decided I didn't want to sleep with him, so called it off.

However, I can't imagine how a shower can be anything other than cheating if you're not single.

KUGA · 04/09/2019 15:30

He is a vile twat to think you would believe that.
Clearly no respect for you.
A nd after 16 yrs ?.
How many others spring to mind sadly.
GET RID ASAP.
You deserve better.
Put itching powder on his undies when he next goes out.

beatriceprior · 04/09/2019 19:30

Hope your ok op xx

CloudyWithAChance2 · 04/09/2019 20:14

Outstanding.

I’m interesting to know how the fuck this has come to light?
Was he caught in the shower with her or has he just admitted to having a shower with her because he was racked with guilt?

Pavonina · 04/09/2019 21:23

@CloudyWithAChance2
It came to light because I saw a notification message on his phone saying that “showering alone is nowhere near as fun....”. I just put two & two together afterwards. Then asked/confronted. For the last two weeks he let me “believe” that they had slept together but on further questioning he's now saying they didn’t sleep together only showered!!
I just feel so goddamn disappointed. I have never or will never “fight” over a man but fuck me, I thought after 16 years he could have been a tiny bit more honest. Oh well...

OP posts:
RLEOM · 04/09/2019 21:39

God, this man must think you're brainless! It also makes you wonder how many other pathetic lies he's told. Flowers

Needsomebottle · 04/09/2019 22:39

Ah, so he had to admit the shower cos you had proof of that. Of course he wouldn't admit absolutely a single tiny morsel beyond it even though it's glaringly obvious. I'm in disbelief that he thinks you might for a moment believe this.

Overseasmom100 · 04/09/2019 22:47

Bit like Bill really...
I did not have sexual relations with that woman...

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