How soon did you have sex after birth?

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I'm concerned about this as I know my partner has a high sex drive (I usually do too) but I am due to give birth in a few weeks. It has already been a few weeks since we last did it with being so big and hot and tired.

How soon after birth am I likely to be able to have sex? Or to even want to have sex! What's the average?

7 months with the first and 3 months with the 2nd. It’s completely not a physical healing from birth thing. You are just so stupidly tired. It took either of us that long just to think it was worth losing 30 precious minutes of sleep over.

Also do not do anything until you have sorted contraception.

About 8 weeks. I had episiotomy and stitches and was bone tired and touched out from breastfeeding. First time was quite uncomfortable but it got better fairly quickly.

5 days but you’ll know when you are ready.

After six week check up and it bloody hurt... Took a while before it felt more comfortable. In fact after the second baby I was stitched up much better I think they put right what the first doctor had messed up.

24 days after DS1 - not entirely consensual, I only gave in because he was putting so much pressure on me for it.

Everyone is completely different. It depends on a few things such as whether or not you have stitches, a c-section, how long the bleeding lasts and just how you generally feel in yourself.

I had horrendous births the first two times with lots of stitches, massive haemorrhage etc so it was 2 months before we had sex. After DC3 I was really shattered so think it was around 6 weeks and DC4 was a c-section so again, 6 weeks.

Expect your sex drive to naturally decline for a while, nobody really wants to have sex constantly when they’re waking ten times a night.

Just over 3 weeks. But I was lucky, just had a small graze. No stitches or tears.

That is what Rosie Palm and her 5 Handmaidens is for.

What he wants is irrelevant. It is what is good for you that counts.

They say none for 6 weeks (first check up)

You will get lochia, which is a very heavy period that goes on for ... how long? I seem to remember 2 weeks or more.

@TriJo
One year. DH is lovely.
Do not give birth sitting up.

11 days after both pregnancies

Think we waited between 2-3wks. I had a straightforward vaginal birth with no cuts/stitches and bleeding stopped after 1-2wks. We were both ridiculously horny and couldn’t wait any longer! We never stopped having frequent sex when I was pregnant either though and still had it most days.

About 8 months!

I think it was a while with my first (few months) mainly because he didn't ever go down on me, so I wasn't really bothered. With second, I had a different partner and did it after a few weeks.

It's probably going to be very different depending on the type of birth, how you feel...

I don’t want to be shocked by some of these responses but I am!

No matter how you give birth, vaginally or emcs, not a graze or a severe tear, you have an open wound inside your uterus where the placenta detaches. You absolutely do not want to be introducing a bacteria-ridden penis into that environment before it’s healed - I speak to lots of postnatal women and midwives through my work and I know of multiple cases of sepsis from having sex too early (by which I mean before the wound has healed, average six weeks).

It’s really really not worth risking sepsis for!

Personally I completely lost my sex drive until a few months after i stopped pumping, so it was about 10-11 months for me.

6 months. Just did not feel like it at all before then.

11 weeks (straightforward birth but second degree tear and needed stitches).

Newborns are exhausting, I really wouldn't think of sex drives as a factor when thinking about life as new parents!

We didn't have intercourse after I was about 28 weeks because the few times we tried before then we're very uncomfortable for me or even painful and I didn't enjoy it. Bearing in mind we also didn't have any sexual relations between weeks 7ish and week 18ish because I was too poorly with HG. I had a birth which I found traumatic and complications with the healing of my episiotomy and pelvic floor. I was still having appointments until DD was about 11 months old. We first had intercourse again when DD was 9 months old when we had a day to ourselves when she started nursery before I went back to work. I don't think there is an average, everyone is different.

6 months. Couldn’t be doing with it before then.

2 weeks, no stitches and the bleeding had stopped.

When you feel ready (each person is different and it depends on the birth and how demanding you and your baby are afterwards etc).
Don’t say you can’t have sex till x weeks as you may not feel like it emotionally or physically just wait and see.
Having said that mine was just over two weeks.

12 weeks until we first attempted sex (I had episiotomy and forceps delivery and the stitches opened so a long healing process for me). At 12 weeks it was agony so we abandoned. At 8 months it felt pleasurable again and now I'm enjoying it. My husband was very patient given that he definitely had the higher sex drive but he respected that I needed to feel comfortable that was the priority.

3 months. My stitches from episiotomy came out and it took that long for my "area" not to be an open wound.

Five months after first forceps delivery and three months after second. Don't rush!

I was told 6 weeks after, for safety reasons was the norm. (and that was from GP)

Two or three weeks after section.