I just need to establish if I'm being unreasonable in feeling the way I do about things. DH says I'm not but I find it difficult to talk to family and I know Dsis will be defensive regarding this.
A bit of background...I'm the eldest of two sisters, our mother died when I was 20 and she 18, we were both at uni. She has remained in our home town, I didn't and live some distance. My father has since married again and his wife tolerates my sister but has said that she'll have neither myself nor my husband in the house. Therefore we have never really been down to their home and meet either here or in my sister's home. At first, my father blamed me and my husband but has since conceded that her dislike/hatred is irrational and without foundation but has not challenged it to 'keep the peace' and says that it's just 'her way'. This means my DS has had little contact with his GF over the years unfortunately but I can't really do much about it.
Recently I came to realise that much of the stuff, including jewellery and household items that I believed my father had in his home and would come to us with time, are now in my sister's possession. A few years ago she shared some jewellery with me giving me a small jewellery box belonging to my mother which turned out to contain three brooches which originally came from jumble sales, a small fake pearl pendant and a small silver pendant on chain which I had bought my mother when I was 13 and she always wore. There were none of the higher value items so I just assumed that these were still in trust as I'd always been told. I've since realised that my sister has them all bar my mum's wedding rind which my dad gave me and a couple of items my mum gave me before she died.
My sister also has a large number of household goods that were given as wedding presents to my parents and although they are not very high value they are lovely things ( think canteens of cutlery and glassware) some of the things were actually bought for me too such as commemorative glasses. She also has books and some other items of mine which I left for safety when I was living in shared accommodation which she took from the house without my permission as well.
I only really realised that my father probably thinks I have been given these as recently he enquired about an item that he gave for my DS (an old police helmet of his) which I've never received. My sister has had one in her house for years which BIL niece and nephew and my DS played with. My father asked DS if he liked playing with the one he had at home to which he replied that there wasn't one. My dad asked me where it was (he apparently gave two to Dsis and some uniform some for each) thinking I had kept it out of DS way and I replied that I'd not had it at all. My dad just went silent and didn't say much.
Fast forward and we're now going to be moving back to DH home country, we're unlikely to be coming back a great deal and with budget airline baggage allowances we wouldn't be able to take much in between. I'd like to take with us some mementoes from my mum to pass on to DS in the future and as he's the only GC he really should have them (Dsis doesn't have children and is past that age). Should I ask about them knowing it will likely cause trouble as she has taken all of them it seems. Or do I leave and keep the family atmosphere intact?