Kik

[StanleyBostitch]

Does anyone know why an adult would have Kik on his phone? I thought maybe it was a Google thing and downloaded automatically on his android phone, but I can see in his history that it's been opened in the last 24 hours. No chats, but there is an account.

Kik gives users the anonymity that other messaging apps don't; when you sign up for Kik, all you need to do is enter in an email address and create a username. The signup process is that simple, and anyone can make up an email account and a username and totally lie about who they are; on Kik, anyone can be anyone. And yes OP sorry to say, unless he's a teen, 40% of users are its a cheating app

You were right. He was using it to cheat. He chatted to a girl late last night, but deleted the conversation. After he went to bed she continued the conversation, so what she said then wasn't deleted.

Sorry to hear that OP

Don't delete, take screenshot and send it to yourself as evidence

Sorry OP - that's crap.
Yes it's a cheating app.
What is the conversation like?
Has he physically cheated or emotionally?
Think carefully about your next steps.
Think about how you want to play this.
Do you have DC together?
Are you married?
Do you own a house together?

I have taken a photo. I've also asked him who she is. He started off claiming that she was no one, now he's saying he's blocked her and will not speak to her again. He wants another chance. I wonder how many chances he would give me if our positions were reversed.

Id take a photo with your phone. If you screenshot it and send it to yourself he might notice what you've done, unless you delete the message and screenshots after. If you're planning to confront I think its best he's unprepared for it.

I researched this app a while ago when someone asked me about similar concerns to yours, if never heard of it before. It turns out that people don't really meet up from there, they mainly use it to send nude pictures and for sexting. I don't think (unless it has changed) that it shows you where people live, like online dating apps, so they're usually talking to someone on the other side of the world. I highly doubt he was planning to cheat physically as that's not what this app is used for, but he could well have been doing it via text. Hope this helps.

Years ago I met a man online who asked me to download Kik for chatting. We didn’t chat long as he was sleazy. That’s the only time I’d ever heard of it. That might be how he’s ended up using it. Sorry.

Sorry, I don't mean to drip feed. DH has form for cheating, a while ago I caught him talking online to girls he'd hooked up with while on overseas holidays. We went to counselling and I thought we'd worked through the problem. He'd assured me that he loved me, didn't want to be with anyone else, had realised what he stood to lose etc etc. He even mentioned renewing our vows. I thought he was truly remorseful and I trusted him. I wasn't event looking through his phone when I found the chat, our youngest DC was playing with the phone and it was in his recently viewed apps.

DH has form for cheating

Think about what you just said. Does he deserve you?

So he shagged 'GIRLS' plural! while on holiday and you forgave him!??
Well then, he has the green light to do it again.
And he is doing just that.

Please raise your bar OP.
What would you advise a friend if they were with a man like this?
Get rid, please.
He won't change and he is just knocking your confidence and self-esteem every time you allow him to get away with this.
He has no respect for you at all.
And he certainly doesn't love you.
He can SAY he does. But actions speak louder than words and he is showing you just how much he 'loves' you.
He's a liar and a cheat and a sleazy creep.
I've no idea how you can even look at him to be honest.

He has form so why does he possibly think you'll believe that it won't happen again?

@Pinkyyy people do meet from kik, it's one of the main purposes of the app, you can organise to meet without ever exchanging personal details, ime it's used by people who want to cheat/have sex.

I use hook up sites sometimes and never talk to men who use kik instead of their phone numbers because you can more or less guarantee they're married.

What do you want to know?

Notallitseemstobe I wanted to know if there was any logical reason that he would have Kik in his phone other than cheating. It turned out to be irrelevant because DH was in fact using it to chat to at least one girl.

Hellsbells what advice would I give a friend in the same situation? Probably to run for the hills. That's certainly the advice my sister has given me. It's a big decision to separate and put the kids through that when your partner is telling you they want to change and it seems genuine. If it wasn't for the kids I would have left ages ago. I love DH deeply, and he and my kids are my world, so I've tried to work through the issues that DH has presented to me that are apparently his reason for straying. But the more I do that, and the longer it goes on for, the more I realise that the problem is not mine and I didn't cause it - it's DH's issue and he has to solve it. I never thought I'd find myself in this situation :(

He may be your world, but you are not his.

How many chances has he had? How will you ever trust him? I'm sure he's been remorseful before.

You can't make him what he isn't - honest.

At what point do you say enough is enough? Only you can decide that.

You should consider counselling for yourself if you are finding it hard to know what to do

He's got you where he wants you. He knows everytime he cheats it'll all be forgotten soon or later. There are no repercussion for his behaviour.

Sorry op, so he's cheated multiple times over the years realistically I think it's very unlikely that he will change, he doesnt value being faithful to you enough vs seeing other women.

This is your husbands making, not yours. It likely hurts horrendously, consider though the example your children see now and will see in future it you choose to stay with him. You may choose to stay with him, but I dont think you will be surprised when he cheats again. Sorry

I stayed with my cheating partner after an affair he had which lasted 6 months for the sake of my kids inheritance. He never owned up, just bullshit reasoning for everything and started saying I was hormonal, I was mentally ill etc etc. Let me tell you now, it’s not worth it, if you have no assets to protect, get shot of him. It wasnt just the once, he was then trying to arrange NSA encounters and also another short term affair with one of my kids’ friends mums. I had evidence of all of this as well, still have 12 years on. He won’t stop cheating while he has a hole in his arse! I know it’s difficult, he tore my heart out and stomped on it and I have never got over it. Don’t do it to yourself is my advice.

So, after all of his promises, he downloads Kik so he can cheat again.

His infidelity has zero to do with you...and never did. He has weak boundaries and a massive sense of entitlement to chase illicit ego boosts/sex. Never again allow him to shift the blame to you. This is all on him and he is not going to change.

Is this the relationship model that you want your children to emulate?

Stop being such a mug @StanleyBostitch

He never stopped cheating, all you are doing is teaching your kids that dads can shag about and mum puts up with it, Colleen R is another one who needs to run for the hills.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

He will not change, only you can change how he impacts on you ie you dump him.

He has no respect for you or indeed any woman , why are you still with him?

WR came to mind for me there too FuckFace, he'd be all over Kik if he wasn't so recognisable.

I think deep down you know what you need to do OP, unless you want more of this misery. Children are very astute and pick up on everything even if it's just the atmosphere when they're very young.