Am I being over the top

[Kaiser111]

I’m in bits.
I would like advice please.
I’ve always been in abusive relationships until my recent one 18 months.
we moved in together around 8 months for financial reasons. I’ve had 4 kids and it took its toll on my body. a tattooist even asked once If Freddie Kruger had attacked me.
My ex cheated 14 times I knew of and put me down for 7 years.
Anyway a few month ago I noticed a very pretty gym body woman suddenly loving his Facebook photos I had a nose and he was telling her how gorgeous she is on her giant boob photos (I’m flat always have been and I hate it)
I spoke to him and Told him I don’t think that’s respectful towards me it hurts my feelings and makes me feel inadequate, he apologised and hasn’t done it since and agreed that it was disrespectful. Anyway last few weeks another one a new girl does the same and I said nothing about him loving her sexy photos, but he’s suddenly started staying out a couple time a month (friend is upset, business trip) today him and this new one both deactivated their Facebooks within a few days of each other, I since have found out this woman is his ex girlfriend. And today I say him comment “oh god damn 🔥” I think he’s clearly still wanting her to say that, I talk to one ex and I never make it sexual or anything. He says he’s done nothing wrong and I’m being stupid and pathetic. He’s gone anyway because I asked him to leave. Am I being a cow or what? Please be genital I’m really in bits.

Hi there OP. We're really sorry to hear that you're feeling so upset about this. We've moved your thread to the Relationships topic where you'll hopefully get some useful help and advice from people who've been in similar situations to you.

Best of luck.

Sorry to hear your situation OP.

I think you've moved too quickly. Moving in quickly for convenient finances was always going to be dodgy ground.

You've had 4 children and my concern is the longer you live with him, the more financially dependent you become on a man who is already not treating you well.

Other posters may be along with some good steps, but j would seriously consider leaving.

You moved in after 10 months. You KNOW you've got form for picking crappy men. Unfortunately, it looks like its happened again.

This isnt about your body, or your boobs, or anything physical at all. This is about your partner being disrespectful, and you tolerating it for whatever reason.

How hard would it be to chuck him out?

This has nothing to do with you it's all about him and his disrespect towards you and your relationship, if you have already been here before and already discussed it isn't acceptable to you and he also agreed he clearly knows his behaviour is awful and he's repeating the same behaviour again (with a ex partner no less) me personally I would be out of that relationship like a shot sounds like you have low self esteem to even put up with this and you also seem to hint you suspect they are actually seeing each other when you say about days away, id leave and I wouldn't even bother giving a reason all I would say is something like I don't like how you treat me and you certainly don't respect me and appreciate me and leave and good riddance to him, what advice are after here what is it you want? Advice on weather you should be togeather? My vote is no or advice on how to approach this with him and get him to stop? Because he won't he may stop commenting on photos online but he will always be disrespectful to you and your relationship, or advice on how to find out if he's actually seeing this woman? To me it wouldn't matter if he was but if he and you want to know you could always ask him outright you can normally know deep down if someone's lying to you or not

It's good he has gone as you asked him to, does he realise you want him to move out permanently. if he lives with you then you don't get a single person council tax discount. Hope he was giving you money to cover this.

I feel so sorry for you, Kaiser. Some of us do make many mistakes and pick wrong 'uns time and time again, but you must break the pattern.

You were absolutely correct to tell the man to leave. Better to be alone than to live with such terrible uncertainty, you certainly can't trust him.

Going back to your body, you can get into shape you know. Exercise, I don't mean a gym but walk wherever and whenever you can, stretch, keep your back straight. Swing your arms around so your middle moves, fill a coffee jar with coins and lift with each hand, good for your arms. Put on a lively cd and dance around. Eat well. I did all that some years ago when I was badly out of shop and within two or three months the change was remarkable (could do with starting again now, hee hee).

You don't have to be fit for a man, you'll feel generally better in yourself if you are. I hope everyone on here has been genital with you. Your opening post really touched me.

All the best.
and moderate

Oh im sorry - i missed the bit where you asked him to leave. Well done!

Just to add, I do hope you have some support, Kaiser, close friends or family - or both. Just to see sometimes, go out for coffee and talk.

You will have plenty of support on here! You've been firm so far, well done to you, please don't go back on it even if he wants to. Give him a wide berth.