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Original poster

Late home and no communication : what would you think?

43 replies

AmIaskingfortoomuch · 31/08/2019 23:14

My DH went out on a Boys day/night out today. He left here at lunch time. Said he would be back around tea time and asked me whether I wanted a take-away when he got back. I said I didn't thanks (dieting), and that we have food in the fridge. Plan was that I would collect him from the train station on his return. I heard nothing all day, until I finally received a text at 11pm saying "on my way" and his train is due in at 11.45pm. I feel miffed that there has been no communication, not even a text, at say 7pm, to say he'd decided to stay out. Would this piss you off, or am I being silly?

OP posts:

Wildorchidz · 31/08/2019 23:16

I’d think he got carried away
And unless I had kids asleep in bed I’d go to the station to collect him

CloudyWithAChance2 · 31/08/2019 23:18

You’re being silly. End of discussion.

Original poster

AmIaskingfortoomuch · 31/08/2019 23:19

Yes, I'm going to pick him up. I just think a bit of communication would have been good. Talk about out of sight, out of mind. Bearing in mind we were meant to have dinner together!

OP posts:

KurriKawari · 31/08/2019 23:20

Is this your DH or DC?!

Original poster

AmIaskingfortoomuch · 31/08/2019 23:21

I just know that if I had intimated to him, that I'd be home at 6.30pm (which is the time he said), that if it came to 6.30pm and I decided to stay until 11pm, that I would spend 10 seconds sending him a text, so that he knows what the fuck is going on.

OP posts:

Original poster

AmIaskingfortoomuch · 31/08/2019 23:21

I don't care whether he stays out until 5am.....just some comms would be good given that I am picking him up!

OP posts:

CloudyWithAChance2 · 31/08/2019 23:22

Yes, I'm going to pick him up. I just think a bit of communication would have been good

My wife and my friend’s wives deal with a lot worse than that.
Not worth having a fight over.

CIareIsland · 31/08/2019 23:25

Why didn’t you drop him a text at 9ish if you were concerned?

Original poster

AmIaskingfortoomuch · 31/08/2019 23:26

Nah, not going to fight over it.

OP posts:

Givemealittkewan · 31/08/2019 23:26

Would only be an issue for me if I didn't want to go out to pick him up this late but then I would have said any later than x time you get a taxi from the train.

Original poster

AmIaskingfortoomuch · 31/08/2019 23:26

Clare I didn't want to "chase" him up really.

OP posts:

notso · 31/08/2019 23:29

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

tigger001 · 31/08/2019 23:32

Wouldn't bother me at all.
If you said you didn't want take away and just said there is food already in, did he still think you were eating together?

Either way, no wouldn't be an issue.

GoodyAdultHumanFemale · 31/08/2019 23:34

Yes, I'd be annoyed. He changed his plans and didn't bother updating you.
I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to chase him when he's out.
It's just common courtesy ffs.

MotherofDogs3 · 31/08/2019 23:40

I wouldn't be bothered about him staying out that late but if he told me he be home by dinner time (6pm in this house) and i didnt hear from him, then my anxiety would kick in and id start to think all sorts ( car crash, murdered, etc im a drama queen).🙄 my partner knows how much i worry so would never do that if he could help it anyway. So yeah i would be bit annoyed. A quick text to let you know would of been nice. Just tell him in future can you please let me know if you are going to stay out later then expected. Men dont always think especially when they with friends 😁

Elieza · 31/08/2019 23:43

A text would have been helpful in light of you picking him up but it’s not a biggee. Just remember next time he may be later than planned.

Imtrying2 · 31/08/2019 23:46

I’d be a bit annoyed but it’s not worth winding yourself up over, he’s probably just got carried away.

MyOtherProfile · 31/08/2019 23:46

I think it's out of order. Not the bit about staying out but the bit where he told you he would be in for dinner then stayed out til almost midnight and didn't let you know.

I know all the cool wives will disagree. It isn't about permission, or about keeping tabs. It's about being courteous. If I told a friend I would be round at x time then decided to go 5 hours later I would be rude not to just let them know.

MashedSpud · 31/08/2019 23:47

Does he normally not keep in touch? If so then don’t worry about it.

CrazySnakeLady · 01/09/2019 00:06

My ex was a nightmare for going out, getting drunk, and getting home hours after he said he was going to be. Frequently fell asleep and ended up at the end of the line over 100 miles away. Etc.
As a one off it wouldn't bother me, but with my ex it became a habit and I couldn't deal with him being selfish and unreliable anymore.

Yeahsurewhatever · 01/09/2019 00:12

I'd be pissed off.
He could get a taxi now.

Like you say, do what you want, just let me know a rough idea, even just so you know he's ok!

Starstruck2020 · 01/09/2019 02:24

My wife and my friend’s wives deal with a lot worse than that. Not worth having a fight over
You sound like a real catch

OP. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be disappointed that he didn’t communicate with you about how late home he’d be, when you had discussed having dinner together that evening; and then expect you to come out at nearly midnight and pick him up. What would he say if you did that to him?

LoreleiRock · 01/09/2019 02:32

I wouldn’t be bothered in the slightest. I wouldn’t pick him up though because I would have either sunk a bottle of wine, or gone out with my own mates. Surely he can get a taxi?

Windmillwhirl · 01/09/2019 03:00

I agree he likely got carried away with his friends. No, I wouldn't be annoyed but I'd have probably sent a text at some point saying I'm getting in my PJs at x time and he'll have to get a taxi if he gets home after x o'clock.

isabella1991 · 01/09/2019 03:03

I would be pissed off. He said he would be back around tea time. So at about tea time is when he should have made contact with you.

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