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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Wow, this is a first for me

48 replies

user1479305498 · 31/08/2019 00:08

Just had our usual Friday night ‘date night’ down the local pub ( posh one).been married 23 years. We get in at 10.00pm
and I need to pop some food I bought from
Waitrose earlier in the oven as we drank but hadnt eaten. We had drunk maybe 3/4 of a bottle of wine each but not exactly ‘legless ’ About 30 mins later, food cooked, and I realised no sign of him, go upstairs and he is asleep in bed . wakes him up saying did he want food and he says he told me he was going to bed, he did nothing of the sort. Am I unreasonable in finding this pretty poor manners indeed. I know he was tired, so was I, but first time I’ve ever had this to be honest. I’m sure tommorrow too I will have to pretend I didn’t hear him say he was going to bed and can’t mention it or he will go ballistic.

OP posts:

Needsomebottle · 31/08/2019 00:19

I thought it was a little over sensitive to be honest until I read I’m sure tommorrow too I will have to pretend I didn’t hear him say he was going to bed and can’t mention it or he will go ballistic. which sounds like an even bigger overreaction to something which would be a non-event in our house... is he in the habit of going "balllistic" at small things?

I think in the same circumstances I'd go as far as to think "huh. He's gone to bed" and just eat the food myself and its unlikely either of us would even mention it the next day as it's not really witty mentioning.

SquintEastwood · 31/08/2019 00:25

I really don't get the issue here.

If I've had a long day then add alcohol on an empty stomach I can (and have!) easily just fall asleep in the middle of a crowd sitting up so just be thankful he made it to bed!

You can always keep leftovers for tomorrow or eat them yourself tonight. I wouldn't feel the need to mention it again tbh.

PurpleWithRed · 31/08/2019 00:28

Complete non event, can’t see why you are miffed or would want to bring it up tomorrow, but really can’t see why he would go ballistic.

BobTheFishermansWife · 31/08/2019 00:34

Total none event to me, sounds like he was tired and needed to sleep. But then we get to your final statement as @Needsomebottle has pointed out, that is a bit concerning...

Emerald46 · 31/08/2019 00:37

Why will he go ballistic? I don't think the fact that he fell asleep is something that would bother me. But then when you say he would go ballistic if you mention it, that rang alarm bells. Does he have a temper and make you feel you can't express your annoyances? Or do you mean he will see the fact that you bring it up really irritating?

Monty27 · 31/08/2019 00:54

I wouldn't go out at 10pm. Have I got that wrong?

Tonnerre · 31/08/2019 01:01

If you drink three quarters of a bottle of wine on an empty stomach, it really isn't surprising if you fall asleep at 10 pm. Next time, eat before you hit the pub.

Aquamarine1029 · 31/08/2019 01:13

What are you even going on about? He drank, he was tired, he went to sleep. He'll go "ballistic" if you mention it?

ClemDanFango · 31/08/2019 01:15

Just cover his and save it for tomorrow. I don’t get what the issue is. You both sound weird.

CheerySal · 31/08/2019 01:17

@Aquamarine1029 rude of you!

Aquamarine1029 · 31/08/2019 01:21

@ CheerySal

Rude? Ok sweetheart.

Janus · 31/08/2019 01:26

I honestly have no clue what you are on about! You both drank quite a lot on an empty stomach so he ended up going to bed. Are you miffed he didn’t tell you? He may well have gone upstairs for a wee and then saw his bed and decided to fall in! It’s the sort of thing I’d do, feel a bit guilty for not telling husband but then have a lovely sleep! I wouldn’t be upset if I were you though.

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/08/2019 01:30

Two separate issues. One, at 10.30pm after 3/4 of a bottle on an empty stomach, sleep is 100% justified.

Second, WTF on going ballistic?

ClemDanFango · 31/08/2019 01:35

Op’s probably had her dinner and fallen in to a drunken slumber like her DH.
How rude that she didn’t tell us she was going to sleep during this thread. We’ll all have to go ballistic when she brings it up tomorrow now 🙄

JudgyPantsAndAMartyrBra · 31/08/2019 01:39

Falling asleep after too much to drink isn't a major deal and something a lot of people do, you also say yourself it's a first so doesn't sound like something that's a habit or regular thing? But you saying he will go ballistic if you mention it tomorrow is worrying.

Olgasie · 31/08/2019 01:55

LOL

MrsFezziwig · 31/08/2019 02:06

Monty27 OP stated We get in at 10.00 p.m. (and why would anybody be interested in what time you think it appropriate to go out?)

PhilCornwall1 · 31/08/2019 02:46

I stopped reading when I hit the word Waitrose!

Carthage · 31/08/2019 04:02

WTf is wrong with Waitrose? Is it because they demand higher welfare standards for their meat? Or they treat their staff well, including them in the company profits. Or that their food is consistently high standard? Or are you employed by Lidl or Tesco to slag off Waitrose (this comes up so often on social media that I can't help wondering) Or is it a ridiculous inverse snobbery?

PhilCornwall1 · 31/08/2019 04:12

You really over thought all that.

user1483387154 · 31/08/2019 04:25

yabu tbh he was shattered so went to bed. you were still going to eat so it's not like you wasted hours cooking

Elodie2019 · 31/08/2019 07:35

I’m sure tommorrow too I will have to pretend I didn’t hear him say he was going to bed and can’t mention it or he will go ballistic.

What does this mean?!

bigchris · 31/08/2019 07:39

Classic example of don't post when you're pissed

PennyPittstop · 31/08/2019 07:41

Sounds like more food for you tbh. Let him get on with it and deal with his hangover in the morning on his own. I wouldn't be making a big deal about it.

Ilikethisone · 31/08/2019 07:43

Honestly op, total over reaction.

In a honesty I am more interested in the 'going ballistic', comment.

Either he is just an arse and who loses his shit over anything.

Or you have a history of over thinking and making situations into something much bigger than they are.

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