Wow, this is a first for me

[user1479305498]

Just had our usual Friday night ‘date night’ down the local pub ( posh one).been married 23 years. We get in at 10.00pm
and I need to pop some food I bought from
Waitrose earlier in the oven as we drank but hadnt eaten. We had drunk maybe 3/4 of a bottle of wine each but not exactly ‘legless ’ About 30 mins later, food cooked, and I realised no sign of him, go upstairs and he is asleep in bed . wakes him up saying did he want food and he says he told me he was going to bed, he did nothing of the sort. Am I unreasonable in finding this pretty poor manners indeed. I know he was tired, so was I, but first time I’ve ever had this to be honest. I’m sure tommorrow too I will have to pretend I didn’t hear him say he was going to bed and can’t mention it or he will go ballistic.

A first for me would be eating a ready meal at 10:30pm after a night in the pub!

I definitely cba to wait up while it cooked and would be heading to bed like your DH (might do some toast first if I was really ravenous)

Why would you feel the need to bring it up again tomorrow?

Him falling asleep is a non-event but this

I’m sure tommorrow too I will have to pretend I didn’t hear him say he was going to bed and can’t mention it or he will go ballistic.

Is a serious red flag. Do you often have to lie or moderate your behaviour to stop him being aggressive? That isn't normal at all.

He will go ballistic if you mention it but he didn’t go ballistic when you were brave enough to wake him?

Exaggerating a tad?

What's the relevance of it being a posh pub and where the food was bought from?

You might want to consider getting a hearing test if this (him saying x, and you thinking he did not) is happening often enough that you and he are losing your temper.

It can get very very frustrating living with a person who is going deaf but in denial about it. You tell them things and then they get miffed and refuse to believe you told them anything because they think their hearing is fine.

Um, I think the point about posh pub etc was that it was date night, so op expected romantic meal together and a shag. Whereas he pissed off to bed while she was cooking said romantic meal.

• I'd find it annoying if we didn't do date night often.
• Or if drink often affected things.
• I'd find it upsetting if date night was supposed to be a way of improving a faltering relationship.

The "going ballistic" and fear of bringing things up sounds bad, op. How are you doing this morning?

If i wanted sex I would be a little annoyed but would be waking his arse up lol.
If i didn't and we also hadn't planned eating together then I would have just got my meal put my feet up and enjoyed the peace lol

If you’d have woken me up, you’d have got a polite “fuck off”.

You’re either very drunk, unhinged or both

If I’d drank 3 or 4 bottles of wine I’d be in hospital never mind bed...

Man has a few drinks...... goes upstairs and falls asleep without eating food wife cooks......
WOW! First world problems!
I'd be happy if my fella took me to a posh pub for drinks on a Friday night to be honest 😂😂😂
I think your over reacting

I think they'd drunk three quarters of a bottle of wine each, not 3 or 4 bottles of wine each.

My 5yo did this on holiday. Without the wine though.

Don't think he did anything wrong.

Odd that you woke him up, odd that you'd bring it up tomorrow as anything other than true banter, odd that he'd go ballistic.

I'm assuming there's a back story here.

You went to a posh pub but just drank and didn't have anything to eat ? And then decided to start cooking something at 10-30pm ? Not my kind of date night - I'd have gone to bed too.

Sorry ladies, it’s all fine, he was actually mortified this morning and apologised profusely. I guess I was just a bit ‘shocked’ that I would be making food and someone had just gone to bed without a word. As it is he isn’t too well today, think he had a virus coming on and hence sat on his bed on his phone for what he thought was a moment and just dropped off .

Ahh glad all's well.

I wouldn't have woken him up

So you are prone to over reacting then?

So he's not a ballistic-goer?

Lol, I wish mine would go straight to sleep after a night out ion the lash! He manages to wait until I come to bed no matter how long I take!

In 23 years your DH has never gone to bed without telling or asking you? And now he’s apologising profusely?
Sounds like you’re a control freak, poor man.

LTB

Wow. I was coming on to try and establish what the OP meant by 'ballistic'.

For some people, that means shouting, screaming, name calling and throwing stuff.

For some people, that means having a bit of a rant for 10 mins.

But no, I find that, in this case, it means feeling mortified and apologising profusely.

Poor man.