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Original poster

Should I lie and say I cheated on him?

37 replies

TheIcecreamLady · 30/08/2019 21:53

So I’m separated from my husband. We stopped having sex about 12 months ago, and stopped living together back in April. Now I found out that he slept with someone else. Don’t know when yet, and he never admitted it but I’m sure 100% about it. I basically want to hurt his feelings and don’t know how. Thought about lying that I slept with someone too? Even tho I didn’t. Or any other ideas?

OP posts:
barryfromclareisfit · 30/08/2019 21:55

Don’t lie. Stick to the truth.

0lga · 30/08/2019 21:56

Don’t waste your time trying to hurt his feelings .

The best revenge is to get a fair divorce settlement. Concentrate on this instead .

Do you have kids with him ?

Intheheat · 30/08/2019 22:00

Don't stoop to that. Best revenge is to be happy, leading your life with an air of indifference towards him. Concentrate on you not him. X

Original poster
TheIcecreamLady · 30/08/2019 22:02

I have 2 kids with him. And we are in process of a legal separation, he begged me not to put him on child support and I didn’t. Now of course I will file for divorce and put him on child support. There is nothing more I can get but the child support, we don’t have assets or savings together.

OP posts:
RushianDisney · 30/08/2019 22:03

It won't make him feel bad, if anything thinking that you're 'even' means he will let himself off the hook for being the bad guy.

Atlasta · 30/08/2019 22:04

I wouldn't lower myself to that.
It will only serve to make him feel better about sleeping with this other person if he thinks you are at it too.

BobTheDuvet · 30/08/2019 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BobTheDuvet · 30/08/2019 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheIcecreamLady · 30/08/2019 22:05

I have been concentrating on me, but I had that gut feeling about this girl and he never admitted to nothing until I pushed her to tell me the truth today. It doesn’t even really hurt much... it just bothers me and annoyes me that I believed him. I’ll feel more relieved If i find out that it happened after we stopped living together but I think it happened before.

OP posts:
TamarindCove · 30/08/2019 22:14

Are you sure she is telling the truth?

LondonCrone · 30/08/2019 22:15

Every second that you spend thinking about this diminishes you. I know it sounds impossible, but you have to let it go and move on. She’ll have told him you were after answers; that makes him feel good, because it makes him feel important. If you lashed out to hurt him, it would only make him feel like the most important thing in your life. Don’t spare him a second thought — making him feel irrelevant by acting like he’s irrelevant is truly the best way to hurt him. Not caring is by far the best revenge.

Ilikethisone · 30/08/2019 22:18

When did he sleep with her?

Original poster
TheIcecreamLady · 30/08/2019 22:20

Yes I’m sure she is telling the truth.
Thanks ladies. I should focus on myself like I’ve been doing. I will readjust my work schedule so that he doesn’t have to watch the kids anymore once or twice a week. I want to cut all contact with him and whenever he wants to see the kids he can let me know and pick them up.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheIcecreamLady · 30/08/2019 22:22

Ilikethisone

I don’t know yet. She hasn’t replied and dont know if he will ever admit it. As I said I hope it happened when we stopped living together, but I think it happened earlier

OP posts:
Imtrying2 · 30/08/2019 23:10

Absolutely not don’t stoop to his level. Hold your head high and be the bigger person. Just divorce him.

Illuminated · 30/08/2019 23:19

I basically want to hurt his feelings and don’t know how.

This is a childish way of looking at it. Move on and enjoy your life. That's the best revenge.

foodloves · 30/08/2019 23:20

No. He will twist it and use it against you and forever call you a liar

Comps83 · 30/08/2019 23:20

If you falsely admit to cheating on him then he couldn’t he use that against you in the divorce?
The best revenge is getting on with your life

TheGirlWithGlassFeet · 30/08/2019 23:38

Take the High Road. You've done nothing wrong and I guarantee that in a years time this dick won't mean anything to you.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 30/08/2019 23:41

Why do you care? You’re divorcing him.

Original poster
TheIcecreamLady · 30/08/2019 23:43

I care if he did it while we were together.

OP posts:
JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 30/08/2019 23:52

Why? What difference does it make now? You’re already divorcing him.

MMmomDD · 31/08/2019 00:06

OP - you have been separated for a year. And clearly the relationship had been broken before that.
And it had nothing to do with who he slept with and when.
You really need to look into the future, not the past.
Secondly - child support has nothing to do with who/when he sleepy with. It isn’t and shouldn’t be a punishment for anything.
And finally - he is the children father. Don’t you think its best interest for them to see their father regularly?
It looks like you want to punish him with cutting his time with kids. And it’s just wrong.
In addition, you have no legal basis for that. He has as much right to have the kids as you do

Original poster
TheIcecreamLady · 31/08/2019 00:07

I just want to know when it started. If you’ve been through this before you would understand. It makes a difference, it’s peace of mind, I think everybody wants answers to their questions

OP posts:
Original poster
TheIcecreamLady · 31/08/2019 00:10

The kids have nothing to do with this. He gave me an attitude when I told him he would have to drive 30min back and forth once a week to pick them up from daycare so that’s why I said I would readjust my schedule so I can drop and pick them up even if I didn’t find out this today.

OP posts:
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