DH refuses to get eyes tested

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DH wears glasses. He last had his eyes tested in 2013. I have offered to make appointments for him, to no avail. I have let it go because he gets irritated if I keep on about it.
Recently though, our DD (22) has been telling him he should get them tested and even went so far as to make an appointment for him. I didn’t know she was going to do this.
DH told us he wasn’t going to go and later asked me to tell DD to cancel the appointment. I said it was nothing to do with me.
Tonight he is angry with me because he said I didn’t support him. But he should get his eyes tested and I don’t understand why he’s so angry about the whole thing. It’s an eye test FFS!

It is HIS body and HIS crappy eyes.
You do you and let him do him

If he drives, tell him his insurance may be invalid if he hasn't got glasses that correct his vision enough for driving.

Ask him why he won’t get on with it.

He could be a good example to his daughter about taking his health seriously. Is he about 40 and hitting mid life crises territory? Could it be money worries about the cost of new glasses?

He knows his eyes are really bad and can’t face having his driving licence removed?

It’s not like a fear of the dentist or something as eye testing doesn’t hurt, unless it could be a phobia?

If he won’t go there isn’t much you can do. It’s his body.

Yep, it's the driving that concerns me and DD. He's 59, no money worries. The reason he refuses is because he says his eyes haven't changed in 6 years. Maybe he's right. But why get so cross? He's gone off to bed in a sulk.

He might think that his eyes haven't changed but he probably doesn't realise that there may be some subtle changes at least especially in 6 years. If he thinks his eyes are ok maybe ask him to read a car no plate at the specified distance and prove himself right.

Good idea about the number plate.
maybe I am being too controlling and I should let him get on with it.

I'm still annoyed that he's annoyed with me though: I didn't make the eye appointment!

Honestly OP this would really annoy me and he's being selfish. It's his business if he wants to not have the correct glasses at home etc then that's up to him but on the road when others lives are potentially at risk, or if he were driving my DD then just no, absolutely ridiculous and unforgivable if he caused an accident. I'd remind him of his responsibility to have them professionally checked, and tell him to grow up. Grown men sulking is incredibly unappealing.

Generally eyes don’t change much once you’re into adulthood. The most rapid changes are in the teenage years. However, he probably should still get them checked at least semi-regularly. It’s not up to you or your daughter to talk him into it though, he’s an adult and can make his own decisions. Do you have reason to believe his eye sight has deteriorated?

Paquita, are you aware that ageing adults become more long-sighted as they get older????

An eye test can also pick up other health problems such as diabetes or glaucoma. Has your DH had his blood pressure tested recently?

Many people become more long sighted as they age which needs to be corrected as much as distance vision. Does he ever struggle to read small print?

I'd take his car keys away until he had been for an eye test, imagine if he caused an accident/killed someone.

Well sight either improves or degenerates with age. I'd be well pissed off if anyone made an appointment for me regarding anything without my knowledge. I assume he is an adult and capable of making his own decisions?

He doesn’t need to get his eyes tested any more than you or your daughter do. Damn cheek of her making an appointment for him without asking. He’s dug his heels in now and you’re not going to win this argument by going on at him. Back off and make your own appointments.

I understand where your concern and worry comes from but he's an adult man with bodily autonomy and I'd be a bit pissed off with my spouse attempting to force me into a medical appointment I'd said I didn't want. He's an adult man with bodily autonomy and can make his own appointment if he intends to go.

Saying that, if my husband and adult child made my medical appointments for me despite me saying no I'd be a bit angry too.

It isn't just his prescription that will get checked, they will also check that his eyes are healthy and may be able to spot the early signs of issues such as glaucoma.

But ultimately it is his choice. Just so long as he doesn't expect you to run his life for him if his sight does deteriorate.

Second the comment about picking up other problems, such as diabetes and glaucoma. My regular eye checkup found increased pressure and I now have drops for glaucoma. It is called the silent thief of sight as you don't feel it or notice the vision loss until it is very far along. I have lost a bit of vision in my right eye. They can see it on visual field testing.

Also, I never understand people who don't get their reading vision corrected. Why do they want to go around not being able to read things? I have multifocals that correct everything.

God this would piss me off. Just leave him alone, you're not his mum.

It is well known that men with partners are often healthier because those partners encourage them to have preventative care and screening.

I don't disagree that he is an adult and entitled to make his own decisions, but I don't think some encouragement is wrong.

Getting your eyes tested is very important. I am guilty of putting this off stupidly - until last year. Rapid deteriation of sight, then using those bloody ready readers. Finally, I went and found out I have narrow angle glaucoma.

Paquita, sorry but that's rubbish.

Eyesight can change a lot as we age. Mine was fairly stable in my late twenties and for much of my thirties but since then has changed a lot. I need a new prescription roughly every couple of years.

We tend to get longer sighted as we get older in many cases, and close up vision starts to fail.

OP's DH absolutely should stop being a tantrumming toddler about getting his eyes checked out, especially to keep within safe limits for driving. A refusal to do so would leave me very unimpressed.

@Topseyt I’ll tell my extremely well qualified and ‘peer-admired’ optician next time I visit him 🙄

is because he says his eyes haven't changed in 6 years
How the fuck does he know this if he hasn't had his eyes checked?
This is weird OP.
Everyone who wears glasses knows to get your eyes tested every 2 years.
They can find out all sorts when checking your eyes.
It's like a health check as well.

But.... you can't make him.
I do wonder if there is an underlying phobia going on here though.

He needs to grow up - every one can get their eyes tested - is it just the driving your worried about or does it affect stuff at home. Is he vain?
The majority of people over 55 seem to wear glasses.
He could be dangerous on the road - we don’t know how bad it is.

I'm more concerned about the sulking tbh . He still isn't speaking to me beyond transactional stuff .

Hello, optician here, sorry to be a bore but yes indeed eyes and prescriptions can change at any age. Some people are stable and others are not.
Also, being a bit total bore now (sorry), we do not get ‘long sighted’ as we get older, we get ‘presbyopic’, which means it is harder to focus close up, though this would not necessarily affect vision for distance.
Obviously I’m also going to say regular eye tests are a good idea!