He's not interested, love. Just move on!

[RunningThruMyMind]

I think I already know the answer to this but it's good to get others to tell it to me straight.

I had a ONS with a friend while away for a mutual hobby (Ok, it's running.) Both single. I wasn't expecting it to turn into a relationship but, being honest, the sex was amazing and of course I was hoping it would happen again.

Anyway, since the ONS, he has shown up at the running club only twice while I've been there. He says he's been busy with work recently. Fair enough. The first time he showed up, he gave me a smile and a wink but there has been no mention of what happened.

We had a 10 minute chat last Friday where he mentioned some things we were speaking about prior to the ONS but again, no mention of anything else.

He asked for a copy of the invoice we received from the hotel and asked me to just leave it on top of his sports bag. Which I did, but popped a little note in the envelope- "Lets not leave it too long to do this again!" (A bit cringe, I know!)

He hasn't spoken to me since.

Hasn't turned up to any runs this week. Messaged a mutual friend to say he'll be back this Friday- I won't be there..

I've scared him off, haven't I? He does have a demanding job but I think I might just have to accept that he's avoiding me now. I was hoping the note would break the ice and show that things don't have to be awkward between us but I think it achieved the opposite! Oops!

Update.
I saw him last night and he was chatty enough, albeit distant. He asked me "Did you sign off your expenses form by the way? I handed it in but didn't check you had signed it."
Me: "I can't actually remember if I signed it or not. Hope you at least took the note off it!"
Him: "What note?"

ARGH!!!! ARGH ARGH ARGH!

I’m hoping the person who does the expenses is super hot and comes looking for you.

OK, he's saving face (for both of you) by ignoring the note.

Don't tell him. Just act normal.

He wasn't joking. I laughed but his face was deadpan. I said "shit, you're not even joking are you?" I could see it in his face that he had no idea what I was talking about.

Did you explain?!

He’s not interested and IMO has been quite rude. I wouldn’t bring it up with him again.

You’ll be needing this for retrieving the note... It might still be sitting in the ‘in tray’?

I didn't explain, I just literally went "ARGH!" and quickly left. I got in contact with the woman (so not a ridiculously hot guy, worst luck!) who does all that and she said "oh was that yours? yes it's all processed".

Oh bless you OP, we have all been there. You did nothing wrong. It’s him that’s being awkward! As he didn’t find the note perhaps he doesn’t realise how you feel or if you want to ‘repeat’ the experience
Perhaps the best way forward is to message him asking if he fancies grabbing a few drinks together? If he turns you down then you know where you stand.

I'd have been going "ARGH" too OP, but I think you have to leave well alone now.

Sounds like he is minimising contact down to a financial transaction.

He doesn't sound like he's worth a re-visit, even if he was hot between the sheets!

Perhaps the best way forward is to message him asking if he fancies grabbing a few drinks together? If he turns you down then you know where you stand.

Please don’t do that, he’s already made it clear where you stand.

Yeah I'm definitely not going to be asking him out. That ship has sailed now. He has acted like a bit of a twat about all this, so things are just going back to the way they were. Maybe it's a good thing he didn't get the note after all!

I had an experience like that years ago. He was a coworker at my company. Not same office, I hasten to add. I called him when I got my new car, and his answer was "if I had known it was you I wouldn't have returned your call"... I was gobsmacked because the last time he was all over me, he went from hot to Siberia cold. So, 1 year down the line guess who calls me? Yeah, wanting to come and see me, so I reminded him of that nice conversation where he took the wind right out of my sails, and said, gee thanks, but no thanks.

that was so rude!

I want to reinforce the message that you've done nothing wrong. It's completely ok to make a move, why shouldn't it be? At least that way you know where you stand!

At least you realise it and can now move on. Plenty of fish in the sea. Most people just tend to avoid instead of being open in honest....so frustrating. But I guess, people don't really always listen even if someone is being honest, like when a guy says he just wants to have fun and friends w benefits and the girl hopes for more. I have not been in this situation, but I have been in one where I was dating someone and instead of just saying he wasn't interested, he just started acting distant etc. I got the hint fast and moved on fast...of course a couple months later he tried to contact me and start things up again....I gave him the cold shoulder and met my husband just around that time :)