Ok so some of you may remember my previous thread about the day my x pulled up in a van and was leaving as I typed?? Well he left it got nasty (he had complete control over me with narc tendencies and the scales began to fall from my eyes with lots of help from mn). The games began and I got stronger💪🏾 I learned about grey rock and became stone henge 😅 . In all seriousness the struggle was/is real but I am growing and realising more each day. But as I'm sure many of you know it's an ongoing process and sometimes it becomes foggy.
So fast forward a month or two and hes back. I spoke my mind in a series of text that put some very clear boundaries in place regarding what I will accept including threatening words and insistent behaviour. He called asked to meet and suggested a more peaceful and friendly approach. I agreed. Since then he has been around much more. He has said i need not worry about finances and the future but should focus being my best self and all this other encouraging stuff that tbh I needed to hear. He shared some things that he has realised about himself and said he can see how his 'belligerence' had scared me and he is sorry for that. He hardly ever says sorry without a big lecture on how actually I was at fault.
I feel weird. I want the peace and to be amicable so much. But a part of me is scared to let my guard down. I feel a bit like any power I have gained is at risk...am I right to feel this way? Or should I go with the flow and lighten up. How should I be? Why am I unable to think straight and establish a reasonable boundary? Any advice from those who know?