He had a go at my DD

[AlwaysSunshine81]

BF came round last night. My DD ran and thumped him (out of excitement but caught his bits) and he shouted at her and had a go at her.
I felt really awkward. Didn’t know what to say so said nothing and carried on cooking. We don’t get together very much with kids and he later told his child off. It’s just been playing on my mind

And I thought it was on purpose because of your wording..."She thumped him out of excitement but caught his bits" made it sound deliberate.

When you later said she'd tried to do a fist bump, that made it clearer.

She laughed at first when he told her off and so did his child. Then I said to her that’s not nice and she got upset and said sorry.
At dinner his child was messing around and he took him outside and had a go at him

If my DS ran up to anyone and hit them... especially in their bits I’d expect him to be told off, he’s 4. But he knows not to go around thumping anyone.
I wouldn’t expect anyone to stand there and just take it from him?!

I think you are being unreasonable, he reacted more than appropriately.

Given your DC laughed about it after I don’t see any remorse and she will probably do it again!

She laughed? I'd have been furious if my child had laughed. I know she's only 4 but you need to teach them that is awful behaviour.

It certainly wasn’t deliberate. She just got over excited and caught him I guess.

So he wanted his kid to act appropriately in someone else’s house?

Do you love this guy? You don’t sound comfortable with him at all!

Ok thanks. She laughed and so
Did his child but then over dinner his child was laughing about smelly underpants which they were both laughing about and so was my dd which I thought was very inappropriate but I guess everyone is different and have different rule

Hats off to him for not swearing and dealing with it in an appropriate way.
Also for disciplining his child whilst at someone else's house.

What's your issue with him OP?

She laughed at first until I told her off and said that’s not nice and then she realised

I really can't see what he's done wrong in either case.
If his child was playing up in a public place it's basic parenting to remove the child and speak to them about it.

Really doesn’t sound like this issue is with what he done but more him.
Sounds like your looking for an excuse to end things.. deffs just do it

If your daughter went for a fiat bump and missed then she hit him in the nuts with a fist?
She was then told off and laughed.
I would have been pissed if if my child had done that and laughing would have been an issue too so I don't see the problem in his reaction.
If my child is in company and misbehaves at the dinner table then I will take him out for a chat so I think that was perfectly reasonable too.
I don't really understand the problem

Fist not fiat - I changed that autocorrect 3 times already!

Thanks everyone for your comments.
Definitely not becoming more like a family as we spend a couple of hours together with kids every other weekend

Discipline isn't a bad thing. Standing up for yourself also isn't a bad thing.

Regardless of her intention, she needs to know that what she did caused someone pain and it's not okay.

Are you looking for a reason to break up with him? His child was messing around over dinner so he took him out side and told him off. Sounds like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. Do you not discipline your dd?

So she hurt him and then laughed about it. He told her off and you didn't intervene until you got cross because she kept laughing.
Sounds like you should have intervened earlier if you didn't want him to say anything to her

I don't see the problem

A four year old laughing at him when he was in pain is really strange and quite worrying.

From where has she learned that?

Sounds like you don’t think children should be taught basic manners or discipline.

A four year old child should have been taught to apologise if they hurt someone accidentally or not, not laugh.

Taking a child out when they’ve been misbehaving at the table is good parenting.

He dealt with both incidents appropriately.

if I were him, your response and attitude to each of those situations would be making me think if continuing the relationship was a good idea.

@AlwaysSunshine81 trust me, getting a knock in the family jewels, you would have reacted that may. It really bloody hurts!

It's fine to say "ouch" or "be careful" to someone who has hit you accidentally. If he had hit her accidentally then she'd be equally justified to say something if it hurts. I wouldn't call if having a go unless it was still being discussed ages after the event or something,

A four year old won't recognise that she'd hurt him in a delicate place. So for her to have initially thought he was joking, seems reasonable to me, given that she thought she'd done something like a fist bump.