I set up a writing group in my local area, and one of the first people to join was this guy, let's call him Steve. We got along really well, and became friends. He has a wife and she's five months pregnant.
He alluded to having had an affair before, but even before that, I just got this sense that he wasn't entirely 'kosher'.
I introduced a new woman to the group, let's call her Amy. Sure enough, he started sleeping with her.
Because of my own issues (my dad continuously cheated on my mum when she was pregnant with me and my sister), I completely lost my shit. I won't give you the details, but it resulted in me having a drink too many and properly laying into him in the bar where our writing group meets. Steve is always cosying up to everyone, you'll know the type, the type that comes across as a softly-spoken Mr Nice Guy, and so he was painted as a bit of a victim, and me as some kind of vicious lunatic. We eventually made up, and he even managed to guilt-trip me, saying that I had made him look like a 'dog' in front of all our fellow group members, and now he was tarred with this brush, etc etc. I actually did feel bad for giving him a public dressing down.
Amy never came back to the group. But that's okay, because now two months later, Steve has started another affair with another one of the group members, let's call her Helen. The sickening thing is that Helen had been witness to the dressing down I gave him, and had actually agreed with me when I'd been ranting on about how among women we should have a sense of female solidarity.
I don't know why I'm posting really. I feel so pissed off. I feel pissed off for his poor wife, who is five months pregnant and who apparently has been feeling really hurt (he almost boasts about how upset she is, she apparently doesn't know, but he says things like: "Today she was saying again how she barely ever sees me and I'm out all hours, and she feels like I don't even want this child, and she doesn't know what to do - all the while I was texting my lover").
I also feel a bit pissed off for myself because I feel like (am I wrong to feel this?) he's disrespecting the group I started, which was to share our writing and meet fellow writers, not sleep around behind your wife's back.
What should I do? I don't feel comfortable telling his wife, I don't know her, haven't met her. She must surely know or guess? He would 100% know it was me telling her. I feel so bad for her.