Bit personal (question)

[Chilledout11]

Dh has got into a habit of me giving him lots of physical touching but nothing back. Too hurt and embarrassed to bring it up with him. Once he gets what he wants he goes to sleep. This morning I snapped at him and he doesnt know what is wrong.

The fact you say he doesn’t know what’s wrong could be because up to when you snapped at him perhaps he thought you were happy with how things were. I am assuming here that he was doing more than just lying there and letting you do everything - he was at least making an effort .

Any relationship is all about communication, and it’s always best to say something before you get to the stage of snapping.

I do hope you can both have a bit of fun while working at putting this right 😀

Men don’t have ears for listening with. They are for gripping either side so you can steer his face in.

Thanks for the responses (some very funny and cheered me up). This is a relatively new and lazy and I asked him was all ok with us and he said yeah. I then said I don't think marriage is meant to be fun after the years we have been together. He didn't get that hint so I will just say no the next time.

Men don’t have ears for listening with. They are for gripping either side so you can steer his face in.

applauds

.. and that's why I love mumsnet

Don't hint!

You've already snapped- what if next time you lose patience and end up shouting something you regret ?

Just talk to him!

He's a lazy bastard and you're his enabler. Tell him what you want or go without

Stop hinting. Sit down outside of the bedroom and talk to him.

I then said I don't think marriage is meant to be fun after the years we have been together. He didn't get that hint

To be fair, I wouldn't have understood that hint either.

He's a lazy bastard and you're his enabler

No, shes not made him this way, or coerced him into it. It should have been bloody glaringly obvious to the fucker the moment OP didnt seem game for repeats of this!!

He is showing you exactly who he is OP.

This is who he is, and its makes horrible reading that he considers you his sex tool. This is telling you so much about who he really is.

Listen, ruminate, leave

Talk to him. Tell him it would really turn you on if he did "X, Y, Z"

My ex was like this a LOT of the time. I will be frank here (lol) .... I loved to give him oral sex, but he NEVER reciprocated. Usually afterwards we would have penetration and it was great, but I started feeling really left out, as I seemed to be the one doing 99% of the "work", as it were. He would initiate but then just lie there expecting me to do everything, ALL THE TIME. A few times we hopped into bed and he pushed my head down to his groin and I felt like a bloody slave.

So I told him what I wanted him to do. He did it, and it was amazing. He could see how excited it made me. He did it on another occasion. And that was IT. I never asked him again, as I though, bloody hell he KNOWS what I like.

Truth is, he was using me, and as the relationship was broken on many other levels and sex was the only thing left that made it worth even seeing him, if I am truly honest, and it was long-distance... I ended it.

Then he had the audacity to say I used him for sex.

Lol... sorry I hope I have not hijacked your thread. You need to talk to him though!!!

You say he has got into the habit. Are you saying that its recent that hes become sexually selfish, or have you always accepted this and are now realising that you are as entitled to receive sexual pleasure yourself as he is?

I think its best to be upfront about your sexual needs and desires with your lover/partner, otherwise how are they to know?
Even from just reading your posts, it reads like you can barely bring yourself to say the words.
If you want to be sexually satisfied, you are going to have to understand and act like you are an equal partner in sex, and no, he doesnt get to have you play with him while he sits there and takes without giving.

I then said I don't think marriage is meant to be fun after the years we have been together. He didn't get that hint hmm.

Jesus woman stop talking in riddles. Finger pointing rarely pays dividends. Instead of saying he has got in the bad habit of x,y and z, you could also say you have got into the bad habit of accepting x,y and z.

Given the language used In your posts I would say you have very poor communication skills and you need to work on improving them.

Have you always had problems expressing yourself?

Stop hinting and just tell him you need an orgasm every time he has one. Only after actually using your words without effect would it be reasonable to end things.

I definitely agree that it seems that you have a problem with straight talking.
People arent mindreaders. You need to say what you mean

He's being selfish or lazy. Talk to him a nd don't feel bad about it. You deserve good sex etc..
A good partner should enjoy making you feel good also